These Are the Days of Our Lives - week 12

March 19, Sunday

After a rather short sleep, the wife comes home from her 12-4 shift and visiting her Mom next door who came home today, with Lolo the kitty welcoming her back.  Janice and me chat a lot, as we plan on hitting the gym for machine Shack Day.  A restaurant called An's, where the old, old Dairy Queen used to be on Mountain Road, caught fire last night, pretty much in Alexandra's backyard.  But she and Cole are safe and sound.  *  We watch Question Period and Jen Psaki's new show on PVR.  Pretty interesting, but nothing groundbreaking to report.  Although the big word is right now that Trump is going to be arrested and indicted possibly Tuesday.  If there's any justice in the world at all...  *  Off to PF we go, starting off on a one mile trek on the steepest incline for me, while Janice walked a bit further.  We hit the machines for the back and shoulders workout - this time I brought a book with me to record what we've done, to keep track of it all.  We did 8 exercises in that area altogether, then Janice hit the treadmill again while I took on machine Leg Day, since she can't do it due to her knee issues.  I did seven machine exercises in that area, as well as 50 squats with a 50 lb preset barbell on my shoulders, as the squat racks were all busy.  Then did a bunch of double leg raises on the floor for the belly, some planks, and serious stretching, before rejoining Janice on the treadmill, where she motored along to do well over six miles.  She did quite stellar on the workout in general today.  *  Three hours later, it was back home we go, where MMH was waiting for us.  After our showers, we partook in making Caesar salad and grilled Swiss cheese, to finish off both the lettuce and the cheese and bread that we had left, and Marbles got his chicken.  We watched the Seth Meyers episodes we had on PVR while we ate, plus W5 - which was about the hazing and bad behaviour going on in the kids' leagues, where one actually died with no one answering for it.  Man, hockey is getting quite the reputation in this country this past year or two.  *  Up to The Promised Land we head... then I had to head back downstairs and prepare Marbles' food which I forgot to do.  Then back upstairs, where we finally settle in for the night.  But not before I get a case of the runs.  It's left me feeling quite shaky and queasy, so I took Imodium and Gravol to try to quell it.  Now once again, I'm suspicious of that damned lettuce.  Even if it's Iceberg, it still might be screwing with my insides.  Or it might be the excess dairy with the grilled cheese.  Anyway, nothing major, just a friggin' nuisance.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

March 20, Monday

Farewell winter, good friggin' riddance!  *  So come to find out, once Janice came home and woke me up after a very off and on kind of sleep... she'd gone to PF after work to do cardio, since I wasn't up to it at all; and she wound up with the runs herself.  Waves of nausea came over her at work and then that happened later.  This is the second time in a row we got lettuce from Sobeys that made us both sick.  We did get it from Hardy's Produce in the middle of that and didn't have any issues.  Moral of the story, no more lettuce from Sobeys.  *  Like I said, being sick like that last night took the living starch out of me, combined with the Gravol hangover (grogginess).  I opted to take it easy for the day.  Janice came home and got horizontal with me and took it easy, and we just loafed and surfed the web, watched TV or whatever, with Marbles curled up with us.  It was a weird day to be sure.  We didn't know what to do about supper, so it wound up being a frozen Pad Thai dinner for Janice, while I had a toasted fried egg sandwich.  We watched the usual Monday night stuff - Rachel Maddow, Chris Hayes, later on Jimmy Kimmel, whatever.  Not a whole lot of notable stuff to report.  Although Trump could be arrested and indicted tomorrow, so all eyes are on that.  *  The wife is sound asleep beside me with MMH on her lap (yes, he did get his fine cigar), and I'm not tired at all, so I'm going to have to take oil and see if I can get droopy.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

March 21, Tuesday

March 23, Thursday

This depression/anxiety/PTSD battle is too much for me.  I'm closing this journal now.  There's no help to reach for, so I'm done reaching.  I'm not going to kill myself or anything.  I just had a dream my wife was trying to choke me to death.  What does a dream like that say?  Why would I dream stuff like this?  This is a very dark place.  I'm so tired of being a burden.  *  Over and out.

These Are the Days of Our Lives - week 11

March 12, Sunday

Got to sleep late last night because I was busy editing last week's journal entries for proofreading, links, etc.  I think I only turned everything off around 8 am or something.  I took oil to help me pass out.  I've got this new kind called 'Night Night', which is neither CBD or THC, but CBN.  The lady at Cannabis NB explained to me the difference, but don't ask me to repeat it.  I did sleep okay after taking it, though.  *  Janice worked noon to 4 and came home around 4:30.  I'd been awake for a bit, after having some rather unsettling dreams that made me wake up in tears.  I couldn't recall them, but I could feel them.  I believe they had a lot to do with people leaving.  I think that's in my subconscious because, really, I don't work anymore.  As much as I'm at peace these days, and not having an anxiety attack since August 2 of last year (pretty well all of my anxiety attacks were work-related), it still leaves me at home alone pretty much all day every day, unless Janice isn't working.  In this case, I woke up feeling deserted or something, and that sets into motion thoughts that it's because of me, that it's my fault.  And really, who else's fault is it?  I don't blame anyone anymore but myself.  *  Janice joins me on the bed when she arrives, and the two of us chat and surf or whatever, MMH takes his spot bridging between us, and eventually we dress for PF and head downstairs.  Supper ideas are tough this time.  I'm the fussy one between us.  Janice will pretty much eat anything.  She suggested getting a rotisserie chicken, but then it was too late, so we'd just figure it out later.  Off to the gym we go.  Today would be machine Charms Day, the end of the workout cycle once again.  It's really good for us to get through a whole cycle in one week like this.  That means we've worked each body part two days each in the span of seven days.  I started off running 13 minutes today, which equates to 1.3 miles, as I inch up in distance.  My legs felt heavy today, probably from Leg Day yesterday.  Before we came to the gym, we each had a Reign energy drink, one of the better ones, as they've got no artificial colors or flavors in them at all, and lots of vitamins, plus caffeine to give you that extra boost.  I needed that today.  Janice really loves them, too.  She did a mile-long walk, and we hit the machines for chest and arms exercises.  We pushed ourselves pretty good today, doing drop sets and testing our strength with the weight amounts.  Janice is ... and she calls me this ... a machine, giving it everything every time.  We finished up with the usual stuff.  My stretching has come a long way, actually, except kneeling and bending backwards has really taxed my right knee, the one I had surgery on.  So I'm giving that a bit of a hiatus to see if it heals.  Janice tore through another three miles on the treadmill, I did another mile going uphill, and we checked out.  *  After two hours at PF, we headed home and hit the shower, did some laundry, and we flaked on the couch basking in the post-workout glow as MMH took his spot on the couch with me to get his spanking (he's addicted - I kid you not.  He won't leave me alone!).  Supper would be bagels with garlic spread and mozza under the broiler, and Marbleicious got his winner winner chicken dinner.  We watched some stuff on the telly, catching the tail end of the Oscars to see 'Everything Everywhere...' take home just about everything all at once, watched Question Period, Cross Country Checkup with Ian Hanomansing, and finally the season finale of 'The Last of Us' - which was predictably unsettling and jarring, and maybe too short, but this is a show you just don't know what kind of turn it's going to take, unless you've played the game it's based on, I guess.  It's going to be a while before season 2, but it's coming.  *  Forgot to mention, we snagged another mouse in a snap trap and unceremoniously flushed the fella.  Why do I feel guilty about killing these crafty little house invaders?  *  Up to TPL we go, give Marbles his fine cigar (that's really what we call his meatstick treats... "who wants a fiiiiine ci-gar?"), get into bed and watch John Oliver before Janice retires for the night.  And here I am at 5:20 am finishing this.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

March 13, Monday

So... the oil that I tried using, since they suddenly stopped carrying the 'Soleil' oil that I was using... is this stuff called CBN oil called 'Night Night'.  CBN oil is aged CBD oil, apparently, and is a relaxant/mild sedative kind of thing.  Sounds like it might do the trick.  Last night I tried it by itself, as the night before I had a bit of the Soleil oil still left over that I took, and I supplemented it with the NN oil.  It seemed to work well that way.  The Soleil oil ran out, so I took the straight up CBN NN stuff.  The experience I had was not a good one.  Physically, I'm fine, I didn't green out or anything - and I'm not even sure to blame it on the oil at all for sure, but I took it and I just didn't get tired enough to sleep.  As I stated above, it was well past 5 in the morning, and I had it, and... nothing.  I'd turned out the lights, closed my eyes, tried to drift off, and nothing.  And tried.  And tried.  7:30 am comes around, and Janice awakens, and asks me if I'd slept.  Nope.  At this point I'm becoming irritated and frustrated about it.  Not towards my sweet wife, but at the fact that I just couldn't sleep.  Something it did do is make me hungry, and we just didn't have a lot around at that point, so I resorted to a few crackers.  Janice leaves for work, and good old faithful Marbles hangs out with me as usual.  I watch TV, surf online a bit, trying to get tired - nothing.  Surfing online actually makes me tired enough to sleep most times, and I don't buy the whole light-from-the-screen-keeping-you-awake drivel I read a lot.  As a matter of fact, there are studies that refute that.  Afternoon comes, and still nothing.  Janice arrives home from work, and I tell her if she wants to go to the gym and do some cardio that she should do it, but I'm in no real condition to, because of being awake umpteen hours, plus it's free-weights Shack Day next, and my shoulder is screwed up from a deltoid exercise I did last time, too much exertion I think.  Janice does indeed go, and I attempt sleep one more time - success.  The plan was for her to go to PF and get a rotisserie chicken on the way home and wake me up for supper, so she did just that.  Only I woke up after what was a horrendous sleep where I had recurring nightmares about work.  I'd actually told myself in my subconscious to wake up, it was that disturbing.  I dream that I'm back at my old job at SDM, and I have bad experiences with the 'new' boss that manifested themselves in these dreams.  It was one of the worst experiences I'd ever had in the workplace, and it quite literally nearly drove me mad - though I must stress that my mental health is compromised already from a lifetime of trauma, physical mental and emotional.  Anyway, I wake up in tears, and go back to sleep, and repeat.  It was truly nightmarish.  This perpetuated the feeling with myself that I'm worthless and just a burden to everyone around me, so these feelings grow, and then the temptation for self-harm arises.  Did I?  ... no, I did not.  But the pain inside was almost too much to make me try to distract from it by creating pain outside.  I resisted, however.  There is no help for me in this regard professionally.  I'm once again on a waiting list for a psychiatrist, and psychologists costs hundreds of dollars, something that we just can't do.  Thus, as it has been for 27 years, I'm on my own.  The saving grace of all this is that now, I don't work, so there's nothing like that to exacerbate the situation.  And I can't understate how important Janice is in my life.  *  Janice made rice and corn to go with the chicken, and calls me downstairs.  I'm laying here in bed in tears at that point from repercussions from the nightmares.  I go downstairs, and we eat, seemingly enjoying what we were having, when most of the way through, Janice stopped eating because of a wave of nausea she experienced.  I finished mine, having been pretty hungry.  But then the same nausea washed over me.  We didn't get sick or anything, but the food just didn't sit well with us.  We resolved to go upstairs and lay down after staying upright for awhile, and her nausea had mostly cleared up by then.  Mine was getting worse, though.  I was burping up the rice we had, and we both figured it was the rice that turned us. I decided to take Gravol to see if it would help.  It did, but it took some time.  I was tired enough, at least, that at around 11:30 pm that we turn the lights out and attempt sleep.  *  Three a.m. comes around now, and I'm wide awake after another disturbing nightmare about drowning.  I've got the laptop on my lap with the nightlight feature as I'm typing this.  Janice is soundly asleep, with Marbles between us.  We do still have a CBD/THC mixture of cannabis oils that I'll take at some point to try to attempt sleep, but I'm wary of the CBN oil I took now.  It wasn't exactly cheap - $60 for a little bottle, so I feel we're kind of out that cash.  I'm also wary of Cannabis NB products now, too.  The THC infused pop they sold us brought about a not-that-pleasant buzz that I didn't like, and now this CBN stuff, that they assured me would help.  I think it would vary from person to person, but I don't want to play around with something unproven anymore.  At least the mixture that we make right now, between THC stuff called 'Banook' and CBD called 'Shubie', gives me a pleasant buzz, and does often help me sleep, but there are no off-kilter side effects like with the other things.  We may have to explore what the online site Faircana has to offer, which Janice has a prescription for.  *  Anyway, that's the kind of day it's been.

March 14, Tuesday

It's a bit of a blur.  I'm laying here in bed on Thursday morning at 2:30, actually, and I'll try to recount what I can remember of what essentially was yesterday.  *  The sleep struggles continue, though I didn't sleep quite as badly as the day before.  When Janice came home, and I was sleeping off and on throughout the night and then the day, I did stay awake.  The two of us were debating going to the gym or not, to which I more or less said we should go, and we did.  *  And speaking for myself, and perhaps even for Janice, we maybe shouldn't have.  We started out with our usual - me running 1.4 miles, Janice doing her walking a mile.  I did that distance at 6 mph, stubbornly, because I wanted to keep building on the last time.  It was kind of a hard run.  I didn't really eat all day, the sleep was dodgy, and here I am pushing my limits.  We moved on to free-weights Shack Day, one of the more gruelling workout days if we push ourselves.  And push ourselves we did.  We did all the exercises, even increasing weights here and there, and when that was done Janice hit the treadmill again for extra mileage, while I did my Monkey Walk once around the gym.  I did some stretching, then got on the treadmill with Janice for a mile, and we left for home.  The snow was coming down pretty good outside at that point, with a storm system moving through the area.  The heavy, wet kind.  *  After showering, we opted for a pizza we had in the freezer, since it was Pi Day.  It was really good, actually.  After that was done, I decided to make oatmeal cookies, as per Janice's request the day before.  I was running out of energy pretty quick at this point.  I took to leaning over the counter a lot, I was so tired and drained.  Those cookies are so friggin' good, though.  *  After cleaning up, it was time to go upstairs, give the fabulous feline his fine cigar, and I took the oil mixture and we both went to sleep after the lights went out.  *  To my best recollection, that's the kind of day it was.

March 15, Wednesday

So, the oil that I took last night kind of got me back on track a bit.  I slept, waking up here and there, but still did get some quality sleep.  Although I woke up a fair bit.  I supplemented that rest with the odd pass-out here and there between the time Janice left for work and when she got home.  I was quite wasted, really.  The workout we did Tuesday evening took its toll on both of us, but especially me.  *  Janice came home from work and got horizontal with me and we chatted.  We discussed how much training had hit us, and we both resolved to skip the gym tonight.  Janice's Mom wanted something at the grocery store, so we did go out and get what she needed.  The snowstorm yesterday had some leftover effect today, with the odd flurry, and I had to do some shovelling to get the car out.  Nothing major.  Off to Sobeys we went to get a couple of boxes of Mandarin oranges for Momma, then it was off to Janice's SDM store to get mascara for her as well.  Alexandra was working in the P.O., so we both went in to chat a little.  Then it was back to the house.  *  The snow was wet and heavy enough that we had a bit of difficulty parking the car in the driveway, as the plow hadn't been by to bail us out yet.  We delivered the oranges and mascara to Janice's Mom and went home to flake out.  We were both pretty tired from the gym yesterday - clearly, we overdid it.  I told Janice, maybe we should take a couple or a few days off from the gym, since it appears we're going through burnout somewhat, especially me, I think.  It also wouldn't hurt for Janice to rest her knee as she waits for her MRI appointment in a couple of weeks.  We'll play this day by day.  *  Supper wound up being quite simple - we opted for grilled Swiss cheese.  What I do for that, is I melt the butter in the pan first, then get the bread slices coated with it on one side each, put the Swiss cheese in the middle and brown it.  We each had two of them.  We'd both been eating oatmeal cookies a lot of the day, so it wasn't exactly just grilled cheese that we ate.  It was time to head up to The Promised Land, shepherded by Marvellous Marbles Hagler.  *  After he got his fine cigar, I made the decision for Janice and me to switch sides of the bed, because my side is closest to the door of the bedroom that leads to the bathroom.  It should have been done long ago, to my discredit.  With Janice's bum knee, I don't want her walking extra around the bed to get to the bathroom at night if she needs to.  We watched Jimmy Kimmel on the telly, whose guest was the great David Letterman, who was promoting a Disney+ special he did with U2 in Dublin that premieres Friday.  I miss good old Dave.  Whenever he talks, about anything, he's so fun to listen to.  Of course, now I really want to see this U2 thing with him, so I'll have to get Disney+ for a month, at least, and check out other stuff, too.  There's the Beatles series I've been wanting to see, along with a few other shows.  I still haven't seen 'Black Widow' yet.  *  That's the kind of day it's been.

March 16, Thursday

Wow, so I kind of caved in emotionally after I was done writing that last post.  I thought I'd lost another friend online, and they're dwindling a lot these days, and I kind of spiralled.  Terrible thoughts creep into my head during these times, of the self-loathing sort.  Tears start rolling, anxiety ramps up... I took oil and it helped, but that takes up to an hour to start to work.  I make this journal and blog public, because I like to be open about it if anybody is interested at all, but then I start wondering if it's the reason why folks up and leave my life.  I don't have a so-called 'circle of friends' anymore.  I remember a while ago, somebody called me 'eccentric'... to me, that can have negative connotations.  'Eccentric' can equal 'weird', and 'weird' isn't cast in a very good light most times.  I'm perfectly accepting of being unique and individual, and I even encourage others to be, but, maybe I'm just 'weird'.  Eccentric.  And people have had enough.  I can't fault anyone for turning away.  *  I woke up after sleeping only three hours, with the thought that maybe I should stay awake and try to re-set my clock again.  Then I thought, why?  So I can be awake and alone longer?  Back to sleep I go.  Janice came home from work and saw me sleeping and came back when I was awake.  I didn't divulge my troubles last night.  What's the point.  *  We decided indeed that we would go to the gym, despite yesterday feeling burnt out from going full tilt for a little while now.  Today was the dreaded free-weights Leg Day.  This is a weights day Janice does not participate in, as per my orders, until she gets the results of her MRI sometime next month.  But, she does participate in lengthy treadmill sessions, and tonight she was able to do nearly eight miles.  While she was doing that, I did my Leg Day routine.  It's a bitch!  I hate doing it, but it works.  PF was quite busy tonight, so I left out the barbell squats, but did everything else.  My treadmill work was just walking uphill tonight.  I got four miles in with the rest of the workout.  I will run again, but only if I feel like I want to.  I don't want this to be a chore.  *  What's better after a good workout than a Big Mac McChicken combo meal!  That's what we got because we wanted to try it.  Here we are all hot and sweaty, and we pick up our order and head home, get in the house and chow down.  It was quite good.  Really, it's just a Big Mac with the beef patties replaced with chicken ones.  But it works.  After that, we watched some MSNBC stuff, then put on Star Trek Picard.  This is clearly the best new Trek season to date, above all the rest.  It's getting better every week.  I'm pretty sure Lore is at the center of all the villainy that's going on, but his motives, I don't know what they are.  TNG characters are slowly being added to the show on a by-the-week basis.  *  Up to TPL we go, with the steadfast MMH in tow, telling us vocally it's time for his fine cigar.  But tonight it was going to be kitty chocolate.  He loves that too.  We settle into bed after our showers - we were freezing in our own sweat watching Picard - and pretty much call it a night, after watching a bit of Jimmy Kimmel.  It's weird trying to get used to sleeping on the other side of the bed.  Last night, I slept awkwardly, I think, and might've given myself an intercostal strain in my left pec.  I'm just about due for a bout of that.  My kidney stones are indeed there, and they're letting me know from time to time.  I kind of dread what's ahead for me about that.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

March 17, Friday

Basically, last night was another insomniac kind of night.  Not much more to be said about that.  *  Janice's Mom is gone north to Shippagan, so she asked Janice to check in on her kitty while she's gone for a couple of days.  Little 'Lolo' is a very young, about-to-be-spayed girl kitty who is coming around socially, but still a bit skittish.  Cute little thing though.  It's weird being in the Hansen living room and feeling the history in it. It's been a Hansen household for around 40 years now, formerly owned by the McGivneys.  *  We made a trip to Costco, because we're out of waffles, which is a steadfast gap-filler here in our house.  Of course we wound up getting windshield wipers (needed), chicken wings for Saturday night's feed, Swiffer dusters for life, a 2 lb bag of corn chips (the Kirkland ones are SO good), vitamin D, a pair of swim shorts for me (Janice insisted, but they won't be for swimming), and I think that's it.  *  Then we're off to the gym.  Starting with a little over half an hour on the treadmill, with me walking up the steepest incline for a little over two miles, and Janice doing a little more than that on a flat level because of the knee issues.  Onto free-weights Charms Day, where we did our usual workout, but I pushed Janice a bit to do just over half of the weights that I use because she's getting a lot stronger.  There's so much grit in that woman.  Then some ab stuff, a Monkey Walk twice around, some serious stretching and back on the treadmill.  I got over four miles in altogether, and Janice a bit more.  Friday nights at PF are nice, when the crowds are a bit smaller.  Saturdays are the same way.  *  After a more than three hour workout (!), it's back home to shower and then get into some oven-baked fish 'n chips, which were great.  I pondered making cookies, but Janice said do it Saturday.  We watched Chris Hayes on MSNBC, then Bill Maher, then it was time to relocate to TPL being led by the great MMH.  He was a regular chatterbox looking for his fine cigar.  He had to wait until we cleaned up a bit and we brushed our teeth and stuff, and he was yakkin' the whole time.  He's a funny little dude.  After he got his snack, we settle into bed and watch a bit of TV stuff, 'The Proof is Out There' - which is always fun to watch ("Keep those cameras rolling!"), Janice passed out while I watched 'Ancient Aliens', and then the struggle began to try to sleep.  So yes, I am recalling this the next day on Saturday afternoon, since I only got to sleep around maybe 7:30 am.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

March 18, Saturday

Once again, a sparse night of sleep, making me sleep during the morning and early afternoon.  The weather's been nice lately.  The snow from the week's storm is virtually gone.  The spring thaw is going to be minimal around here.  *  First thing we did when we left the house was go see Lolo,

Janice & Lolo

Janice's Mom's cat next door, where Momma left town for a funeral for the weekend.  We actually thought she'd be back by today, but since she isn't, we kept Lolo company for a while, playing with her and feeding her, changing her water and cleaning her litter box.  She's quite the little character.  *  We decided once again to go to church today.  We've been kindly welcomed back by a number of folks there.  There's something about church, really.  Something meditative.  Prayer has been proven more by science lately as being beneficial to the heart and mind.  *  After church, we did like last week - we went to Champlain Mall to get some peanut butter chocolate eggs at Laura Secord, and walk around a bit.  It was a bit busier than last week, and quite lively, which is so nice to see after enduring the pandemic the last couple of years.  We also went to Sobeys there to pick up some things for Caesar salad, but with iceberg lettuce.  I don't know if I'll ever trust Romaine again.  *  When we got home, I started prep for the wings we were going to have tonight, where I'm making the coated variety this time.  Janice went next door to turn the lights on for Lolo, and I went with her, and I decided to take it upon myself to clean her litter box, emptying it altogether and powerwashing it.  She's got lights on and a radio playing to keep her from being lonely.  Back home, it was time to turn on some music and have our traditional Saturday Night wings, to be followed by a chocolate chip cookie bake.  We did laundry along the way.  The wings turned out great, as usual, as Janice cleaned up behind me.  We shared a cannabis drink that we had in the fridge, which I didn't mind if we were splitting one.  It was a cola soda, not too bad either.  We just let the music play tonight while we ate.  It's a mostly 70s and 80s playlist.  We're looking to leave Spotify soon for either Tidal or Amazon, we're not sure which.  *  Once the wings were made and eaten, it was time to bake cookies.  It's a smaller recipe, yielding about 2 1/2 dozen, in comparison to the other recipes.  Those things are tricky, because they're hard not to eat once they've cooled a bit out of the oven.  *  After cleaning up from that, it was videoed for your pleasure)upstairs to TPL, with Marvellous Marbles Hagler, who hung out with us all night.  He got his fine cigar (videoed for your pleasure) and soon after that, it's bedtime.  All in all, a pretty satisfying day.  *  And that's the kind of week it was.

These Are the Days of Our Lives - week 10

Sunday, March 5

Another sleepless night gone by last night.  I got to sleep I think around 11 am, and Janice got up at noon to go to work till four, cane and all.  I woke up around 2, and tried getting more sleep, but nope.  *  Janice gets home and had a nap for a bit, while I attempted one, but nope again.  She woke up later and we got ready to hit Planet Fitness.  We did head out there, handy to 7 or so, and we had to keep an eye on the time because there was going to be a pay per view on, AEW Revolution, that I wanted to see.  Janice too, apparently.  We did machine Charms Day today, the last in the workout cycle before moving on back to free-weights Shack Day.  It was a good workout... I did the usual run a mile to start, walk a mile to finish, and what I'm trying to get to is running a mile in ten minutes.  I used to be able to do it long ago, and I'm getting there.  I think today I ran it in ten minutes and thirty seconds, around there.  Janice did fine, doing three miles between the first and last treadmill sessions.  Pretty good for somebody who gets around with a cane everywhere else.  I've taken to calling her Master Yoda - if you've seen Attack of the Clones, you get what I mean.  We did seven machines, I think, for the Charms portion, then I did two trips around the gym on a Monkey Walk, and a bunch of weight-resisted crunches and stretching.  I do a fair amount of ab stuff, and I have no expectations of ever actually seeing my abs in my stomach.  I just want a strong core.  *  Anyway, we head back home just before the show was about to start, and I set it to record so I could make supper for us.  We had meatballs left over from yesterday - I think they might have been better today - along with herbed rice, Janice had corn and I had peas.  For dessert, we split a small lemon meringue pie that her Mom gave us.  Then it was time for AEW Revolution.  It clocked in at nearly four hours long, and boy was it worth it.  Folks who watch WWE, I'm pretty sure they realize that's a kids' show, and AEW is for the adults.  What a vicious card this was.  And absolutely no down time.  One match gets over, then they need a minute or two to clear the ring and go right into the action.  Lots of suspense in a lot of the matches, especially the main event, where MJF beat Bryan Danielson to retain his title.  That bloody affair was well over an hour long, leaving everyone guessing how it was going to end up.  The crowd was great for this show.  *  And the cat's out of the bag for our kid.  She knew we were going to attempt to get tickets tomorrow for the KISS show in Montreal (I have a KISS Army membership, which gets me into the presale before the public presale).  With it, I can get four tickets.  The plan was for us to get the four, then on her birthday, surprise her and Cole with the tickets to the show in November.  But she messaged us tonight asking if we could please take her and Cole when we try getting tickets.  So, we spilled the beans and told them we were going to anyway, and she's a happy camper now.  I'm hoping I have some luck getting those tickets.  I know every seat at a KISS show is a good seat, because Paul flies out to the back of the venue at one point, and lifts take the guys out into the middle of the building at another - plus the huge video screens and lighting pods that are on this particular pull-out-all-the-stops tour.  This would be Cole's first big concert that he's seen... kind of a high bar to start!  *  Marbles got his meatstick treat, we're in bed after I took oil, and I've got to try to sleep so I can be up in the morning for the presale.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

March 6, Monday

Well whatta day.  I slept maybe three or four hours before I had Janice wake me up by phone to be awake for the presale for tickets for the KISS show in Montreal in November.  It was a test for my anxiety, with the screen freezing and trying to figure out how the hell to pick seats.  The ones we could afford are in the first level balcony, but they're in a good spot, and the show will be a great one.  The four of us have a few months to figure out exactly what to do re: hotel accommodations, transportation and whatever.  We'd leave Friday, land there for the hotel, see the show Saturday, and come home Sunday.  It's all for rock and roll... and the last time we'll see the Hottest Band in the World.  

After that, I had to wind down a bit and take oil to relax and try to get a few more zzz's.  I did - I got about another three hours.  Not terrible.  *  When I woke up, Janice was there beside me in bed, ready to catch a snooze herself.  She did, and I attempted to join her slumber, but my eyeballs had other ideas.  When she woke up after an hour and a half or so, we resolved to hit the gym for free-weights Shack Day.  But again, there are rodents in our room that changed those plans.  Marbles treats are kept in a chest of drawers we keep clothes in, and mice have been feasting on food stuff in the house this winter; this time they found the cat's meat sticks and a bag of freeze-dried chicken.  The little bastards ate the whole bag!!  Un friggin' real.  I could hear them in the drawer and tried catching them in the act, but all I caught were torn up and empty meatstick wrappers and an empty bag, and mouse turds all over the place.  We wound up having to wash a ton of clothes because they shit on so many of them.  I mean, these treats were in a safe place in enclosed drawers, we thought.  So what the actual hell!  I'll have to investigate Amazon and see what they have for traps, because the ones we have clearly don't work.  *  It was hair day today, so I had to shower and do that, without a gym session.  Janice washed all the clothes, and I scoured Marbles' cat box.  That's always fun.  I spray it with Mr. Clean and use the power nozzle setting on the shower massager and blast the thing clean.  Then I brought my electric drum pads back downstairs.  Supper tonight had to be Domino's, half price, so that's what it was.  With parm bites.  Great stuff.  Also, I went on a water drinking binge because my kidney stones kind of hurt today.  They're not on any timetables and don't recognize eviction notices, so I just have to wait while they ruin the place (my kidneys that is) and try to power-piss the things out of me.  It's Lent, so no beer, which is what I'd be doing, is drinking that to expedite this whole thing.  Gonna be a while before that happens.  *  Janice's knee is not good.  She needs the cane more lately to get around, and now her good leg is beginning to bother her because she's compensating for her bad one.  They can't get around to addressing this soon enough, but I have no real faith in the health care system these days.  I don't think she should be working, but Alexandra is her employee, so it's not like she can just say 'screw it' and stop.  If she does have surgery, though, she'll have to take time off.  She has a whole month's worth of sick time to fall back on, fortunately, because she never calls in sick.  *  We're in bed now, Mr. Marbles had his treat, my poor wife is laying beside me sleeping with my shirt as a blindfold, and Monday is officially done; two more weeks and it's Spring.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

March 7, Tuesday

A bit tough getting to sleep last night... or this morning actually... but once I fell asleep I was good.  I did get a solid seven or eight hours.  Janice got home from work and passed out for a while with me.  Her knee is still problematic.  She works at the store with a cane, which I think is kind of criminal, but as I've stated numerous times before, her workplace doesn't allow for more than three employees at her P.O.  And that one besides her and Alexandra is just a 4 hour shift.  I don't know what else to say or think of that.  *  We decided to wait a bit until around 8 to go to PF tonight, and try to avoid the after supper crowd.  Before we did go, news was breaking on TV about how Fox News is being outed more by the minute lately from this Dominion voting systems lawsuit.  It's quite spectacular, really.  It's what a lot of us have known for many, many years, but it's becoming official now, I guess, and shocking a lot of people.  I'm not one of them.  *  At the gym, it was free-weights Shack Day, one of our favorites.  That doesn't mean 'easy', but it's very effective.  Janice did a whole four miles on the treadmill while I did extra stuff besides the Shack workout.  I actually started with running my mile first, and I did it in exactly ten minutes, which I was aiming to make happen by the end of the month, so this is good.  I finished walking a mile at the end of the workout.  The place was quite busy, really.  In the free-weights area, the crowd was more ignorant than usual.  I got cut-off a lot walking around, guys got in our way a lot impolitely, and the area was just cramped.  I understand that this kind of thing will happen from time to time.  One guy on a machine swung a bar around and cranked me in the arm as I walked past, and he was effusively apologetic - that pretty much cancels out what happened.  If everyone was like that, life might be more enjoyable.  *  Back home we go in the light sprinkling of snow falling from the dark skies, to head straight up to the shower.  Then back downstairs where I prepared garlic bread and cheese for me to go with a frozen Pad Thai dinner, and Janice had a piece of leftover pizza from last night to go with her PT dinner.  Janice stamped on the floor, and it freaks out the mice that are in the ceiling.  I did order mouse traps from Amazon last night.  But this might be an issue that's out of control, as it is in the majority of the city.  We're pondering calling an exterminator.  Marbles isn't much of a mouser either.  At ALL.  *  We watched a lot of news stuff, then headed to The Promised Land.  I forgot to mention we watched 'The Last of Us' from Sunday - probably the scariest one yet, and it didn't have a single clicker/zombie/whatever-they're-called.  The monsters were humans.  Next week is the last episode of the season.  *  Marbles got his meatstick treat, we settled into bed to watch Seth Meyers from last night, and now Tuesday is behind us.  And that's the kind of day it's been.

March 8, Wednesday

Happy birthday to brother Greg - short for Gregarious! *  Got a reasonable sleep last night, even if I only passed out late.  I was awake at one this afternoon, contemplating sleeping further, but chose to stay awake.  Janice came home not too long after that, hobbling up the stairs with her cane, and came to lay beside me.  She seems almost euphoric to be off her feet after being at work for any length of time.  I don't like the idea of her having to wait so long to get this issue of hers addressed.  *  I sent out the Bat Signal on facebook asking friends for tips on how to address our mice issue.  I got a handful of responses, but none of which I didn't already know about; still, I wanted to know from others who have the same problems what worked for them.  From peanut butter to peppermint oil, I took all the advice to mind, and we headed out shopping for mousetraps.  First going to Kent - where we didn't really get much help at all.  Off to Home Hardware at Magnetic Hill - they had some standard wooden Victor mousetraps, so we bought half a dozen of those.  Then we thought we'd change gears altogether and go looking at a used furniture store for a glider-rocker/ottoman, because the only seating we really have in our living room is a love-seat; we gave Alexandra and Cole our couch because we never get company, and Janice and me like to sit close when we're home, so we retained the love-seat.  But we're on the lookout for a glider-rocker/ottoman and a recliner at some point.  The recliner we'll likely eventually get at Costco.  The other is a little harder to find.  There was nothing satisfactory at this place called Bernie's Furniture, where they have new and used stuff, so we gave up on that for the day.  *   Next up, we had to figure out supper, so why not go for a spin to Costco and get something.  We wound up only getting a box of Dunn's smoked meat to have sandwiches.  Back in the car we go and head to Superstore to get some kind of munchies, since Janice has a boatload of points.  I'd much sooner not buy anything from Loblaw outright.  While there, we dropped into Cannabis NB for some kind of oil for me at night, since now they don't make the same Soleil oil that I've been taking now, either.  I got this other stuff - we'll see how that works.  *  Back home we go, to set the mousetraps.  Damn near losing my fingers in the process of setting those demonic little contraptions.  I loaded them with peanut butter for bait and put them in the attics and crawlspaces, now we'll see what happens.  *  Then it was gym time.  We headed out for what was to be free-weights Leg Day, and Janice was to do alternate exercises.  She did mostly treadmill walking, but also a weighted taekwondo exercise that I made for her, where she practices punches with five pound dumbbells in her hands, then finishes without the dumbbells.  It's quite effective, and trains you to punch faster and harder.  I did my usual Leg Day exercises, which are hateful, but effective.  At the end I squatted 255 lbs six times on the squat rack, and I was pretty happy with that, being the old codger that I am.  We both finished up on the treadmill, and I spotted Janice's knee buckling close to the end, but shut it down then and there.  But she did get four miles in.  I can't really stop her from trying, but I will stop her if I think she might get hurt.  *  Home we go to the shower, and to wash and dry a shit-ton of clothes because mice got into our drawers and left their shit everywhere.  I made our smoked meat sandwiches, which we had on kaiser buns with mustard, sweet pickles and Swiss cheese.  It was actually quite decadent.  I had my last can of U.S. pop from our last trip, a can of Dr Pepper Zero, and Janice had her DCD.  We watched AEW Dynamite, which was pretty good, then tackled the mountain of clothes left in the dryer to fold and bring to The Promised Land to put away.  Marbles got his meatstick - damn near took the end of my finger - and we settled into bed for the night, as Janice played her habitual Cookie Crush while I watched MSNBC stuff.  Now I know for a fact Russell Brand is a cocksmack.  He appeared on Tucker Carlson on Fox twice this week after claiming to be impartial on Bill Maher last week.  He's just another crackpot anarchist sowing seeds of division wherever he goes.  *  Janice was passed out before I realized I didn't rub Icy Hot on her knee, so I did it while she slept, but she woke up briefly.  I really, really don't like seeing her hurting.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

March 9, Thursday

A sleepy day today for sure.  Only passed out last night around 5 am, so I slept pretty well and woke up around 2:30, only to have Janice come home from work, lay down beside me and we slept 3 1/2 more hours.  I'm not going to complain about that, because good sleep is tough to come by, and I like the idea of her resting that knee of hers.  She loved the elongated slumber.  *  I pretty much made the call that we weren't going to the gym tonight, because I'm still sore from Shack Day and Leg Day yesterday, so a day for recupe is nice.  Not to mention, more rest for the wife's knee will do it a whole lot of good.  She got her notice in the mail today for her MRI, finally, which will happen at the end of the month.  That's actually pretty quick for an MRI scan.  *  Tonight we tossed around ideas for supper like the new Chicken Big Mac, a sub, Popeye's, etc. but my idea of steamed hot dogs won out.  We steamed the buns this time too, that made them wicked great.  Those Kirkland wieners from Costco are the best hot dogs around, the same ones they serve in their food courts.  We watched Star Trek: Picard while we ate, and this time this show is getting better as it goes, as opposed to starting off great and fading like other new Star Trek seasons.  *  Then it was back into the kitchen where we turned on MSNBC and I made ginger snaps, per Janice's request.  Man, those are good.  We cleaned up and headed to TPL, where Marbles had been howling at one point, we think maybe because of mice.  Which we've had no luck catching whatsoever.  We set umpteen traps with peanut butter where they go and it seems they couldn't care less.  There are more traps coming from Amazon tomorrow, I think.  I'm not terribly encouraged.  *  There's a fair bit coming back at us for our income tax return, so there are car repairs we need to address, a basement window with no window we have to fill (an open invitation to mice) plus supports that need to be installed, and we also have to fix our eaves on the roof.  We don't know how much of this we'll get done, but we can at least get started.  *  Janice works tomorrow, then she has Saturday off, and it's back to her six day work week.  But we love our Saturdays together.  We usually have something that we make Saturday night and have our playlist playing and act foolish.  I'm thinking maybe this weekend it'll be meatball pizza.  We can't wait for the warmer weather when we have these treat meals on Saturday nights with a fire and some brewskees.  *  Anyway, that's the kind of day it's been.

March 10, Friday

Woke up after a decent sleep at around 2-ish in the aft, after having weird dreams that I forgot all about.  I did post one dream I had here on Ragnar, since it was one of those vivid ones.  Janice came home from work, called her Mom, and got her grocery list for us to go shopping for her.  Janice's Mom is 97, still gets lots of groceries, still bakes and cooks, and is definitely not bedridden or anything.  She's sharp as a tack.  I think science should study her to figure out how to live properly.  *  While we shopped for Momma (what I call her), I picked up a couple of pizza crusts and a red onion so we could make a pizza here at home Saturday night.  We came home after dropping off Momma's groceries, and 'The Shack' was playing on the Starz network, available through Crave.  Janice and me decided to watch it again, because we enjoyed it the other two times we watched.  This is a great show to watch to center your moral compass.  We always shed a lot of tears when we see it.  It really renews my faith, spiritually, not necessarily in a religious manner, either.  I feel like it's a modern take on how we should view God.  *  After that, it's off to the gym for free-weights Charms Day.  I once again ran a mile to start - actually, I've been running a mile in ten minutes lately, and this time I stretched it out to 11 minutes, and I'll keep stretching it gradually.  I forget exactly how far I actually ran, but I did run 6 mph for that eleven minutes.  Janice did her walking, slowing down at my behest.  I told her that her ligament tear (if that's what it is) won't heal by stressing it.  She grudgingly agreed.  She wants to go go go.  *  We did our usual dropset Charms Day workout, maybe pushing harder than we usually do - especially on the cable exercises, and I added a Monkey Walk of two trips around the gym with 45 lb plates, with 90 crunches at 40 lb resistance on the machine for that (3 x 30), and stretching.  Janice did some too.  She opted for extra treadmill time in lieu of the bonus exercises that I did, to try to get her mileage in.  She's on a mission to get a certain number of miles on the year and she keeps a journal of her own as to what she does.  *  After 2 1/2 hours slaving at PF, it's time to go home, shower and have some fish 'n chips, with mashed carrots and turnips.  A LOT of carrots and turnips.  It went quite well together, actually.  We watched 'Real Time' with some interesting guests, whose names I'm not privy to, but they were smart and engaging.  Then we watched a 'The Proof is Out There' episode, always interesting.  Topped of with heading up to TPL where Marbles got kitty chocolate from Janice, and we tuned in to a new 'Ancient Aliens' episode where they discussed crop circles.  It freaked me out enough to save it on PVR so I could watch it again.  As it is, there actually are crop patterns out there made by humans, but the vast majority are unknown, with freaky coded messages in them that kind of leave you slack-jawed.  *  So, I go surfing on facebook and come across, by random chance, this video of a guy who used to work at Lockheed Martin, a scientist, who was terminally ill, but wanted to get his information out on video, since he's going to die and they can't go after him then.  It was eerily authentic looking.  It looked like it was shot on a home video camera, and the guy had a ton of photographs and information that makes you stop and think.... wait, he's not acting or reading a script or anything, is he?  I've watched it twice now and I'm still wide-eyed about it.  Then NBC News is saying there's a possible 'mothership' spacecraft-looking thing headed for earth??  WTF is going on right now?  *  And that's the kind of crazy day it was.

March 11, Saturday

It appears my kidney stones are 'sleeping'.  I certainly haven't passed them, because I didn't feel it.  I've never passed a kidney stone before, they've always had to knock me out and go in and get them.  This worries me a bit.  If I can't feel them, it makes me think they're growing.  If they're growing, that could mean serious pain and more surgery in my future.  Not that I'm worrying.  *  So, after freaking myself out about aliens last night, I finally got to sleep at maybe 7 am.  We both woke up around 2-ish, so it was a good long sleep for Janice, as resting her leg is one of the best things for it right now.  It's still sad for me to see her get around with a cane.  Although she does do the Yoda thing and springs to warrior-like life at the gym.  It's when it freezes up afterward that it catches up with her a bit.  *  Anyway, firstly, we decided this afternoon that we'd like to go to church for the first time since probably '18.  It's been quite a while.  Last time we went, I was in a  bit of a bad way, with anxiety tripping me up pretty badly.  I bowed out of my reading duties there for the time, and then Covid hit.  We stayed away from church for years because of Janice's immune issues from her meds, and she can't catch Covid and then go see her Mom next door.  So, we went, and not a whole lot has changed.  Except there's just one reader now, at least on Saturdays, and everyone on the altar wears masks, and many of the older attendees.  On our way out, Father Roderick said hello and welcome back, and that the folks up there were glad to see us again.  I do miss reading.  I think if they needed a stand-in, I'd step up, but I don't know that they need that at this point.  *  We headed to the mall after that because we needed a new shower curtain, and as we walked about, we walked by the Laura Secord store and saw that the Easter stuff was out.  They haven't had the big peanut butter chocolate eggs in years now, so I thought I'd look just in case.  And they have them!  Three for $20, though.  Screw it, I have to have those.  That, to me, is the holy grail of peanut butter and chocolate combos.  The best EVER.  Nothing comes close.  We walked around a bit more to see what's changed.  A lot of stores come and go in that mall.  It was fairly busy, and it's nice to see after the worst of Covid being put behind us.  *  Back home we go to drop our stuff off, change out of our church clothes into our gym stuff, and out the door we go to PF for machine Shack Day.  We pushed and pulled some serious weight in dropsets; I'm pushing Janice to go a bit further.  For example, if I'm pulling 100 lbs on a machine, she'd normally do half of what I do, in this case 50 lbs.  Today I had her do more than half of what I do, because she's getting stronger all the time.  Her strength is growing by leaps and bounds.  I call them Post Office muscles, because she has to lift and carry a lot of heavy parcels at work most days.  After working seven machines, then doing some reps on the ab crunch machine - on which Janice hit new highs, and I did as well, with three sets at 50, 60 and 70 lbs resistance at 30, 25 and 20 reps - then me doing a Monkey Walk twice around, Janice hit the treadmill again after stretching while I opted to just go ahead and do machine Leg Day, too.  I figured why not, Janice can get more mileage in on the treadmill since she can't do Leg Day until her knee is better.  So I went ahead and did all the exercises on the seven chosen machines, finishing with 15 reps on squats at 135 lbs, then 8 reps at 265 lbs.  I don't go super deep on those squats, but pretty close to 90 degrees, where my right knee is acting up, mostly on the posterior side, but in the front too.  I did my stretching all over - including the on-your-knees back bending thing, which just about murdered my right knee - then joined Janice on the treadmill for another walking mile.  Oh, and I started the workout with running 12 minutes at 6 mph, as I inch up a little every time, maybe to train myself for some shorter marathons this summer.  Maybe.  If my knee holds up.  Janice did something like six miles - astounding when you consider what she's dealing with.  I did insist she go slower, though, limiting herself to 3.5 mph.  She tried to sneak going 4 mph before I scolded her!  *  We head home after a nearly three hour sesh at PF, with the roads of Moncton once again eerily quiet on a Saturday night, and we were greeted by Marvelous Marbles Hagler at the door being chattier than usual, and took our showers before we came downstairs to make our pizza.  Plus a mammoth pile of laundry.  SNAP... we finally caught our first mouse in the entrance to the basement.  We gave MMH some catnip to space him out for the night while I prepared the pizza, which was of the meatball variety, with halved meatballs, red onions and bacon crumble with lots of mozza.  Which turned out quiet nicely.  We watched W5 while we ate, then caught up on the Seth Meyers episodes from the last week.  Then it was up to TPL.  *  The time changed tonight, so we lost that vital hour of sleep, as we settled into bed after giving Marbles his meatstick, I surfed for a bit as Janice watched some of the telly and played her Cookie Crush, and the night came to a close, as did the week.  *  And that's the kind of week it was.  

Dreamstate 3323

MARCH 3 2023

where was the BeGiNnInG  ?

working for bj's subs is where i went - where my SUBCONSCIOUS took me

  they were all there   i saw lucy, monica, cindy, michele, and others that I can't quite recall

the
    wooden
                steps
to the basement leading to the walk-in cooler; the industrial-type sink with the faucets, the washer and dryer

          down the short corridor, the office was there  

    i think donnie was in there     i feel like he was

there were catering trucks that i had to assemble orders for       the girls in the kitchen upstairs made the food for them and brought the loaded box tops with the product into the cooler for me to assemble the orders into the plastic grey bins

the sandwiches and subs and dinners all wrapped in their cellophane and foil

            i frantically put the orders together with some sense of urgency like i was going to be late

   there were catering deliveries that needed to be done too      they were written on the whiteboard at the top of the steps

            there were also sandwiches and subs i had to deliver to the french hospital which i did twice daily

the delivery van was the same, white with the company's lettering, a chevy astro van           i loaded it up with catering orders and the food for the hospital

where's the van?                i somehow lost it          but i still have the 'boogie-buggy' as donnie called it, where i could load the bins of product for the hospital on it and wheel it to the canteen at the hospital

                           but where was the catering order?

where was the van?  did i even have the van?       is this a dream?

                                          t h e r e ' s  a  r i v e r or some kind of b o d y  o f  w a t e r between me and the hospital                the sky is grey with a few blue spots

the WATER is not supposed to be there     but i have to get this stuff to the canteen!

  i loaded the bins onto the boogie-buggy which somehow managed to float as i brought the stuff across the body of water         the body of water is where wheeler boulevard is supposed to be

          somehow i get up to the road leading to the hospital and get back in the van that's there waiting for me

   i drive the van with the sandwiches and subs into the rear of the hospital building where i load up and bring the canteen the food

                                             the ladies who worked there are still there

                                             the same people

i load the cooler with the food and go back to the van to deliver the catering

    where is it going???

no phone

                              i have to go back to the shop and look at the whiteboard

carla and stacey are there now           they point to the board to tell me where i'm going

        everyone is happy and talking      the air is so light             and this is my workplace

but i'm late for this delivery!!              i have to hurry

WAKE UP

These Are the Days of Our Lives - week 9

February 26, Sunday

A cool, calm day in Moncton, this was.  Janice and me spent a lot of it in The Promised Land, snoozing and her resting her bad leg keeping it elevated.  She had the weekend off and spent much of it this way, as she was supposed to, to help it heal.  She's making progress, albeit somewhat limited.  *  There's really not a lot to talk about as far as the day's goings-on are concerned.  We did go to PF for a bit of a modified Shack Day workout, doing what we usually do for free-weights, except we opted out of drop sets for lighter weights and longer single sets.  That doesn't mean what we did tonight was easy.  You have to push yourself to get through these elongated exercises.  I'm proud of Janice - she did everything, even weight-assisted pull-ups, where she couldn't before because of her knee.  She also did nearly 4 miles on the treadmill, which is a giant leap toward her recovering...I hope.  Our workout lasted a solid two-plus hours.  I did the usual running a mile to start/walking a mile to finish, bookending the weights workout that included some ab stuff and an added farmer's walk and a lot of stretching.  *  We get home and take our showers... today was hair day for me; a bit of an event, because it's kind of a hassle washing this much hair, though I only have to do it once or twice a week.  I've been treating my beard the last few days too, getting that natural brown tint back.  *  After the shower, it's mealtime... in the form of this frozen Pad Thai dinner that we bought a pack of at Costco a while ago.  It was light and easy to make, just pop it in the nuker for four minutes.  It was our first time having it, and it was really good, actually.  We feasted on some cookies from my big baking session yesterday, bagging a few for Alexandra and Cole to have tomorrow, and some for Mama next door.  Janice really, really likes them.  *  We watched Question Period, with the talk about why on earth Trudeau won't let CSIS do an investigation into Chinese election manipulation - seriously, what is there to hide?? - and then there's Polievre claiming ignorance over his party members fraternizing with a racist German politician.  All of politics is just finger pointing and head games, really.  *  Then it was back to The Promised Land after folding clothes, getting Marbles the Kanga Kitty his meatstick treat, and then taking in the newest episode of 'The Last of Us', which was a considerably calmer, more storytelling episode this time out, and well told, as usual.  After that it was 'Last Week Tonight with John Oliver', and Janice was lights out after that, while I continued on writing this journal entry.  I've been trying to keep them a little bit shorter and to the point.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

February 27, Monday

It's Monday right now as I type this alright - at 5:55 pm.  Interesting stuff in the pipeline already.  Fox News is being exposed big time right now.  Rupert Murdoch basically confirmed under oath that his notorious channel has been lying about election interference all along, among other things.  A very bright light is shining on the republican cockroaches and they're scattering big time.  This is actually fun to watch!  *  It was a rough night of sleep last night for whatever reason - I think I fell asleep around 4:30 ish.  Which honestly isn't too bad - could be worse.  I slept during a lot of the day.  Woke up to Janice coming home from work to tell me that the doctor called her, re: my KUB x-ray last week, and that I'm the proud owner of two kidney stones at the top of my ureter.  One's 2 mm and the other 3 mm.  This means lotsa water's going to be drunk in the hours and days to come.  Last time I had a kidney stone in '15, it was over 5 mm, lodged in the urinary tract, and the urologist said I was a day or two away from actually losing a kidney.  Thus, I claim the right to be proactive when it comes to any inkling of kidney stone pain.  If a stone gets to 5 mm, that means surgery, and possibly a stent, like I had - and that shit is no fun.  Especially if you're working a physical job like I was.  I didn't call in sick once through that, but I definitely should have.  Actually... I did take an hour and a half off to go get the stent taken out, then go back to work!  *  The plan for the night was a half-price Domino's Pizza for supper after we get home from the gym for Leg Day.  So off to PF we go for what became no-weights Leg Day for me, and mostly cardio for Janice, while she rehabs her knee.  This round of weights, for both free-weights and machines, will be all low to no weights and high reps.  In my case this time, Leg Day consisted of 60 body weight squats, 30 side to side lunges each leg, 60 b/w sumo squats, Bulgarian split squats at 20 each leg, 50 b/w calf raises, and 30 b/w pistol squats each leg, followed by a trip around the gym with two 45 lb plates, 25/20/20 reps at 40 lbs on the crunch machine, forward and side planks, and of course the regular stretching and mile-long run to start and mile-long walk to finish.  I was sweatin' like a racehorse thru this one.  Janice did exceptional on the treadmill, now going up to 4 miles.  *  We picked up our pizza on the way home, got in and showered, then it was back downstairs for supper and Rachel Maddow, which was a bit bland to me this week.  Shortly after that, we head to The Promised Land and endow MMH with his kitty chocolate, then settle in while Janice tackles her Cookie Jam games and I take in the news before writing this journal right here.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

February 28, Tuesday

It's been 45 years since Dad died today.  That was on my mind much of the morning.  I still remember waking up to Mom wailing about something, and Rick and Cindy in a panic, when I went downstairs to Dad's bedroom, where he went to sleep for the last time.  This day, thus, started off quite sombre.  *  Pretty standard day otherwise.  Nothing notable for weather, temps in the single digits and partly cloudy, had a rough night sleeping once again, what else is new.  Still, I think I got sufficient zzz's to get me through the day, and hopefully not enough to stay awake too long at the end of it.  *  Janice comes home from work, and we pretty much just hang out and chat, making plans for dinner that would've been ribs, baked potatoes and corn, except we decided to hit the gym a little bit late for high-reps/low-weights machine Charms Day.  So that's what we did - Janice put in a lot of time on the treadmill, which we need to really keep an eye on.  But we were both able to do the weights, especially where it was almost all seated upper-body stuff.  So we did things for biceps, triceps, and chest, plus I did a fair bit of ab stuff, and we stretched, as well as me doing my Monkey Walk once around the gym.  Some days it's once, some days two trips, it often depends on what body part the weights were on.  Janice actually did it with me today, with ten pound plates.  I did my usual mile run at the beginning and mile walk at the end.  *  Then it was home on this chilly final night of February.  *  And it was a bit late for the ribs and potatoes, so we opted instead for bagels under the broiler with garlic spread and marble cheese, with a couple of hearty oatmeal cookies for dessert. 

That filled us up just fine.  I've been doing the apple cider vinegar treatment for a few days now, in an effort to thwart the kidney stones issue.  It's rough taking that stuff.  If old socks in liquid form was a thing, it would probably have the apple cider vinegar label on it.  Tonight it seemed to turn my stomach.  I actually wondered after we ate if I might need to take Gravol or something.  *  After watching our usual stuff on the telly, it was upstairs to The Promised Land, where MMH was there to collect his goodies, and we settled into bed to call it a night.  I'm hitting the pillow at a semi-reasonable time on this night.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

For those interested, this is the ginger snap recipe of my Mom's, which I wanted to present in the writing of my lovely sister Cindy.

March 1, Wednesday

Well, I was able to sleep thru the night, for the most part, waking up around 9-ish,shortly after Janice headed to work.  She doesn't get around very easily lately.  She needs her brace on just in order to limp around, and she still needs her cane.  She's able to walk on the treadmill at the gym easier because there are actually handles to grab onto.  Today, she had a doctor's appointment, where she was able to discuss everything that's in need of attention.  She asked for a script for Percocet for me, in the event that my kidney stones wake up and start playing ball with my urinary tract and wreak havoc on my abdomen.  He understood perfectly and gave me one for 15 of them.  I asked for 10, and wasn't sure I'd get them, so this is good.  I still have a small handful from my last throat surgery two years ago.  The second thing she asked about was about one of those mesh treatments for her bladder that she had several years ago - apparently, that has to be re-done periodically, so she was granted a referral for that.  Then, it was about her knee - he had her lay on the table while he moved her leg around, and the telltale signs of a torn ligament arose.  She was promptly booked for an MRI to get a closer look at it, and actually sent out a referral to an ortho to be seen ASAP, which tells you right there the condition of it.  It probably needs a scope, but perhaps a more intensive surgery to get the ligament repaired, too.  I push her at the gym maybe too hard, I'm thinking.  I feel like I'm kind of responsible for this.  *  After she gave me the rundown on her appointment, we decided to go for a workout, for machine Shack Day, once again a sit-down affair for the most part.  We still both got on the treadmill, but she wants to motor when she gets on, and I actually have to pull the reins in on her.  For a long time, she was walking on an incline, and I had to put a stop to that.  She's a feisty one that I have to keep an eye on, a bit like a kid!  We did seven or eight exercises on the machines, including a Monkey Walk with 2 trips around... Janice insisted on doing it with two ten pound plates.  We did a little bit of ab stuff, along with the bookends of the running mile and the walking one at the end.  I had Janice walking a bit slower.  *  Back home we go, handy to around 6 this time, because Janice actually had her appointment at one, so Alexandra went in to cover for her by taking her shift from then to 7.  But Janice had to go back for 7 to 9.  While Janice was gone for that two hours, I decided to do some research on the apple cider vinegar thing.  As it turns out, it's apple cider fermented with yeast... that's not the kind of thing I need in me right now.  Or ever!  I've had yeast issues enough earlier this year and don't want to keep going through that.  Thus ends the ACV treatment.  I've been feeling uneasy the last day or two, and now I might have a good idea why.  This kind of stuff only happens in the winter with me.  It's like some kind of curse.  *  I found out today that KISS announced the rest of the dates of their End of the Road Tour, and the Maritimes are not on the itinerary.  But there is a date in Montreal in November, so we're going to try to make it to that show.  Tickets go on sale next week.  *  Anyway, I took to doing the laundry, then getting dinner ready for when Janice came home, in the form of those baked potatoes and ribs and corn.  I baked extra potatoes once again to panfry tomorrow to have with sausages and mashed carrots.  When Janice got home around 9:30, dinner was ready with no waiting, and we watched a little news stuff, followed by a good episode of AEW Dynamite.  There's a pay per view this weekend to ponder.  After that, we headed into the kitchen where Janice took a seat, while I made oatmeal cookies from this astoundingly great recipe I found a long time ago.  It's a very simple recipe that yields 40 to 50 cookies, good size ones, too.  And they keep Janice and me regular!  These things are great for breakfast - or anytime, really.  *  After that, it was off to the Promised Land, where Marbles was beckoning with his incessant meowing.  Which we love.  He can talk as much as he wants.  He got his kitty chocolate, we turned on the fan for the white noise like we do every night, and now I'm also going to attempt sleep.  Not before I rubbed some Icy Hot on Janice's leg to try to alleviate some of the pain, which I can tell is evident through the night.  It doesn't wake me up, but I notice it, and feel bad for her.  I often stroke her head when she groans from the pain. I hate that she has to go through this.  She says that the Icy Hot helps, though.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

Presenting, the ancient Baker's semi sweet chocolate chips wrapper.

Also presenting, the chocolate chip cookie recipe I use.  I bake these at 350 F for about 12 minutes, but remember oven temps vary, so keep an eye out.  Plus, I use milk chocolate chips.  Way better.  These cookies taste just like Mom used to make.

March 2, Thursday

Last night just flat out sucked for sleep.  I think I passed out around 5 or 5:30, and wound up waking up at just before 9.  Just a general malaise kind of feeling and restlessness.  It's getting frustrating feeling like this.  I did eventually fall asleep, at something like 2 in the afternoon, and woke up around 5:30 or so.  I pass time watching TV and reading stuff, but when I feel like this, with such low energy, it's hard to get motivated.  *  Janice was downstairs already when I woke up, so she came up when she heard me.  She figured we both needed today off from the gym - I was in no shape to go, neither was she with how her leg is doing.  There's weather coming through in the form of 20 cm of snow or more, and that always wreaks havoc on her, me sometimes too, but not in the same way this time.  *  We headed downstairs to prepare supper, in the form of panfried potatoes, mashed carrots and baked sausages.  Janice grabbed a chair in the kitchen while I undertook the cooking.  As I went on with it, I got more and more tired and spent.  I felt a wave of nausea come over me and felt shaky, but continued cooking anyway.  I was still kind of hungry, just not 'meal' hungry at that point.  The panfried potatoes were great, though.  I made them with garlic and onion powder, parsley, coarse sea salt and Frank's sauce, and they were fantastic really.  I think the salt is what made the biggest difference, it's the first time I used it in this setting.  I got the plates ready and we transported to the living room to eat while we watched TV.  *  Janice chowed down and loved what she had.  I did too, but ate much more slowly, and actually had to take an extended break after eating the vegetables.  As we watched the newest episode of 'Star Trek Picard', which was an improvement, I eventually nibbled on the sausages, and they went down okay.  I opted out of my supplements, taking only my Zoloft and Align, because I didn't want to overwhelm my stomach tonight.  I seemed to be okay.  *  Then we head to The Promised Land, where Marbles had his meatstick with a side of fingers.  I loaded up our mini-fridge with Canada Dry Diet Ginger Ale, as I began to once again feel this wave of nausea.  I couldn't get into bed fast enough.  Janice pretty much insisted I take Gravol to help settle me for sleep.  I open up my laptop and did a search for digestive symptoms of long-haul Covid - and sure enough, I ticked off just about all the boxes in the digestive area.  Anorexia, nausea, IBS, vomiting was in there - thank God I haven't dealt with that.  But all the rest are a go.  I had to go to the bathroom seven times today.  It just feels like there's no end to this.  From what I've read, it can last up to six months (!).  I can't seem to get consistent.  I'll have a good day, then two or three bad days.  It doesn't seem to matter what I eat or drink.  I've cut out alcohol completely, for frig's sake, I would've thought things would improve.  But things just haven't been right since the onset of Covid.  I'm just glad I don't have to work feeling like this.  I know there are a lot of folks out there who do have to.  *  When I did sleep, I had vivid dreams about being back at work as a receiver in my old job - seeing co-workers again, all the drivers I'd developed a rapport with, and doing the stuff I thrived on.  It was a bittersweet thing, because when I wake up, I know that's long gone now.  The further into the past it goes, the harder it seems to let go of a lot of it.  There are bad dreams I have, of how it all ended, but then there's ones with my old co-workers when times were good.  Now instead, I spend those hours at home alone.  Dealing with this Covid crap just makes it all really suck.  *  Friday is upon us, and Janice will come home and we'll have Saturday together.  I look forward to that.  She's resting semi-comfortably beside me right now as I hear the snowplow roaring on the streets outside.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

March 3, Friday

The snowstorm I talked about yesterday wound up bringing us around 20 cm or so of snow.  A fair amount, but not something otherworldly or anything.  Today temps are closer to the freezing mark and it's sunnier out.  Not that I experienced it personally.  Once I fell asleep last night, at a fairly reasonable time I might add, I ended up sleeping for nearly 12 hours.  I didn't even take oil; but I did take Gravol because I was feeling quite unsettled.  *  Janice came home about ten minutes after I'd woken up.  The plan was to go to the grocery store for her Mom, but that idea was postponed after her Mom said tomorrow would be fine, so we opted to stay in.  So then, it was time to make fish & chips for supper in the oven, our Lenten season special.  It was great again, and this time after 25 minutes in the oven, I turned the oven off and let them sit in there for another five, which crispified them to a crunchy delight.  *  We decided to watch 'Terminator: Dark Fate' that was recorded from the Sci-Fi channel a while ago.  A pretty good show, though it just doesn't quite measure up to the finesse of James Cameron's directorial efforts.  He wrote this one, but had Tim Miller direct it.  Still, it was quite enjoyable.  We'd seen it in the theatre but wanted to re-watch it.  After that, 'Real Time w/ Bill Maher' was on.  Russell Brand, Bernie Sanders and John Heilemann guested.  It was basically the Russell Brand show because he hogged the bulk of the time.  I don't agree with his anarchist viewpoints at all and find him subversive.  *  Up to The Promised Land we go, feed MMH his meatstick/fingers, and we settle in to watch some more telly.  'The Proof Is Out There' was on PVR, so we watched that - Tony Harris is a great host for that show.  He brings a lot of gravitas to his commentary, as he is neither a skeptic nor a believer, and chooses to base his findings on evidence.  Good late Friday night TV.  *  I rubbed some Icy Hot on the wife's knee before she went to sleep.  It's not really improving.  I'm hoping that the doc's referral doesn't take too long to go through so she can get this fixed once and for all.  We decided to stay home from the gym tonight because, mainly, her leg just isn't doing very good.  But also, yesterday was rough for me, too, so I welcomed the evening to recuperate a bit.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

March 4, Saturday

The day arrives, and we slept in.  Way in.  Till, I think 2 or 3.  Someone came around knocking at the door, but the both of us were too tired to get up to check it out, so if you're reading this, sorry about that.  We never get visitors so we don't expect it at all.  *  The plan for the day was to do Janice's Mom's grocery list, and maybe get a few things ourselves.  I spied a recipe, an extremely simple one, in my recipe binder for Coca-Cola meatballs in the slow cooker, and it required more BBQ sauce than we had, so perhaps a visit to Costco was in order.  Plus we needed the meatballs.  And gas.  Waffles wouldn't hurt.  We're nearly out of fish for our fish 'n chip Fridays, too.  Our Gatorade Zero is low so we might as well get some of that.  Plus we need more butter.  And margarine.  That's how it is when you go to Costco to get one or two things, they multiply pretty quick.  We also got garlic bread for life.  *  After we finished up at Costco, it was off to Sobeys for Momma's grocery order.  Janice gets around with a cane all the time now, so it's kind of important that I go with her.  Sometimes you can't make it on your own, even on a beautiful day like this when your head spins with shopping enough that it gives you vertigo.  Then you get stuck in a moment you can't get out of, so you walk on.  *  Once we're done at Sobeys, we drop the groceries off to Momma, and I spied her little kitty Lolo checking me out from around the corner.  I resolved to give her some salmon treats courtesy of her friend Marbles next door. 

Momma gave us a homemade lemon meringue pie, she knows that's my favorite.  Very sweet of her - literally!  *  We unload everything from the car, and prepare for the gym.  After two days off, it was time to sweat again.  We were both feeling pretty good today and up for it, so we actually looked forward to it.  Friday and Saturday nights are our favorite times to go, because it's usually a lot less busy.  It was machine Leg Day today, and Janice couldn't really partake because of her knee, so I figured out an alternate program for her to get her blood pumping, involving warming up her upper body with 5 lb weights, and then using them for resistance in some taekwondo exercises involving punches.  It worked out (no pun intended) quite well for her.  She's a second degree black belt, and trust me when I say you don't want to be on the receiving end of her punches.  She hits hard and knows exactly where to hit.  For myself, I did seven machines with lower weights/higher reps, then did a few ab exercises, and the usual Monkey Walk around the gym for a personal record 3 times with two 45 lb plates.  In my early 40's, I used to be able to get around the gym at the Y seven times, though that gym is considerably smaller, so I kind of surprised myself in doing this.  I started the workout with a running mile and finished with a walking one plus a little extra, as Janice did 4 miles walking on the treadmill herself while I did other things.  I kept a close eye on her.  She did very well, and it's important to her to keep in motion, though we need to be careful with her.  *  We headed home after venturing to Canadian Tire to get some clear Gorilla Tape, to reinforce the weather stripping on the doors, and we could smell the meatballs cooking in the slow cooker with the BBQ sauce that I set before we left for the gym.  All it is, is a bunch of ready-cooked frozen meatballs, lots of BBQ sauce - Red Bull in this case - and a can of Coke, all stirred up and put in the slow cooker on high for three hours.  I made that with the garlic bread, and some mashed carrots and turnips to round it out.  It was a good combo, though Janice didn't really care for the Costco garlic bread, which I actually found quite good.  But we were both full and satisfied.  Of course, before all that, we did take our showers.  *  We watched W5 on the telly, about a Canadian woman incarcerated in Hong Kong for unknowingly being a drug mule from an online romance scam artist.  It's amazing the filth that people will stoop to to take advantage of the vulnerable.  Then we watched the newest 'Ancient Aliens' episode.  That's always fun to watch, no matter what you believe.  It makes you ponder things you might think off the cuff are ridiculous, but then stop to think, "wait a minute..."  *  After that, it's time to clean up the kitchen and head to The Promised Land, where MMH was awaiting his meatstick treat after doing his Kanga Kitty routine, and we settled into bed after I rubbed some more Icy Hot on Janice's knee.  A Big Bang Theory mini marathon was on, so we left that on while we surfed and chatted.  *  We wound up staying awake longer than we expected.  It's now past 5, and Janice is on the verge of sleep, while I'm about to finish up this journal entry and proofread the week's entries before posting.  Marbles is camped on my lap and it's about time to call it a night.  *  I started last night, as well, starting up what might be another blog page "Dreamstate" related to my dreams.  I'm trying to make it interesting, and as dream-like as I can.  *  And that's the kind of week it was.