My take on 'Avatar: The Way of Water'

Saw 'Avatar:  The Way of Water" last night.

Before I get into my thoughts on the movie, let me preface by saying that the show I was about to watch was being compromised by 20 minutes of relentless COMMERCIALS.  Drug commercials, car commercials, tech commercials... with ATWOW being in excess of three hours long, sitting through this many commercials was making us pissed off.  It put a lot of us in a mood that was not exactly favorable before the movie even got to start.  This was the longest, most painful length of time we had to wait before the movie started.  Once the film began to roll, after waiting over 20 minutes, we now had over three hours still to come.  This shit is insane and needs to stop.  We pay enough money as it is for two tickets in 3D to have to be subject to relentless commercials.  I'd be a bit better about it if I knew the commercials helped lower the ticket prices, but that'll never, ever be the case.

SO... that being said, ATWOW started, and it's back to Pandora ten years later, and Jake Sully and Neytiri now have a family.  I don't want to give too much away, but the first length of the film is primarily on the familiar grounds of the planet we saw in the first instalment.  A familiar villain rears his new, ugly head, as he and his amassed army begin the hunt for Jake, in what appears to be more or less a revenge tale.  There is another plot device involving hunting a whale-type species which have fluids deep in their bodies that actually halt human ageing, making just a test tube of the stuff ridiculously valuable not unlike the unobtanium mineral that was so sought after in the first movie.  The military are painted as being a vile, greedy, cocky bunch that, not unlike in the first film, kind of mirrors the Persian Gulf wars era in our recent history.  Earth, they explain, is nearly finished as a habitable planet because we basically ransacked the place since the industrial revolution.  

Jake is now older, mature and tougher ten years on in the saga.  Neytiri is his stalwart wife, and their family continues on in the ways of the Omatikaya, until inevitably the "sky people" (humans) show up and once again ravage the land as Jake is being hunted for his sins against humanity.  This section of the film is engaging and fun to look at, but has an air of deja vu and been-there-done-that - but, is necessary to prime the viewer for what comes later.  The clan wind up relocating themselves to another section of the planet, where the indigenous clan there is more privy to the waters and oceanic life it inhabits.  They've even actually evolved physically to deal with their surroundings.  This is where the film really leaves the ground - or sinks, in this case, but in the best way possible.  I've never seen visuals this astounding since the last Avatar flim, but this even exceeds what we saw then.  In true Cameron form, the story wrenches at the heart at times, getting you attached to characters and leaving you wondering ultimately whether or not all of them will survive to the end of the story.  For the vast majority of what you see, the CGI is virtually indistinguishable from the practical.  And not once did I feel like I was watching some kind of animation.

The quibbles with the show I have are minor - I found the score to be lacking in the absence of James Horner, who composed the music for the original film, but died a few years ago.  So Cameron hired who was essentially Horner's understudy, Simon Franglen, to fill in.  And 'fill in' is kind of all he really did.  The music doesn't ruin the film for sure, but neither does it stand out the way James Horner used to make it.  It's altogether forgivable, though, because Horner is a pretty high bar to clear.  Another bit of a problem I had was the action... as great as it is to watch, it kind of follows the Marvel credo of cramming perhaps too much into the screen, leaving whatever important things there are to see kind of lost in the mix, or detracted from.  But it's hard to fault Cameron for wanting to give the audience their money's worth, and he sure as hell does in this movie.  It's just that some of the things here don't resonate the way you'd hope because of the excess busy-ness.  One last gripe is the Na'vi people - I found them sometimes hard to distinguish, and confusing to connect names and bios to.  Still, by the end of the film, you feel like you've made at least some connection with the characters, and with how absolutely gorgeous this film looks, you'll want to go back again to re-watch what you liked, and wind up seeing what you missed the first time in the process.  I should add, too, the marine life, in particular the whale species, steals the show.

All in all, it's good to see Cameron back in the saddle again building more spectacle like no other filmmaker can quite do.  I look forward to more Avatar chapters in the near years ahead.

Ramble on...

December 20.  Peter Criss' birthday - the guy that first introduced the idea that I should play drums, after listening to my brother Rick's 'KISS Alive!' 8 track on my sister Cindy's stereo.  

That's neither here nor there as far as this post is concerned, I just recognize that date as such.  It's 6:40 in the morning on this chilly Tuesday, and once again I've been up all night, save for maybe an hour and a half.  I'm having a hell of a time snapping out of this miserable sleep cycle of being up during the night and asleep during daylight.  Not that there's much daylight this time of year around these parts.

I thought what I''d do is one of my random thoughts-type posts, or start one anyway.  With these particular entries with the somewhat flippant subject matter, I often start it, then get back to it as more of it comes to me.  Where I don't know whether people read these much or not, it at least acts as a diary or journal of sorts for me to look back on in the future - a time stamp, so to speak.

So let's begin!

Ah, Chris Cuomo... I was going to start with "let's get after it!"  But I've kind of soured on CC as of late. He's returned to news media in the U.S. on a station called News Nation, anchoring a show there like he did with his popular "Cuomo Prime Time" on CNN, before they canned him for nefarious reasons.  CNN has dive-bombed in the ratings since - and is almost unrecognizable to a lot of us, since now it's being run by devout republicans.  There are clips available of Cuomo's new show at NN, which I saw some of, and I was quite puzzled when one of his interviewees was republican congressman Jim Jordan, who staunchly defends soon-to-be-indicted Donald Trump and his coup attempt a couple of years ago.  Cuomo soft-balled the interview and let Jordan off easy, which I found shocking, because CC was known to me for his hard-hitting style of interviews.  It drew the line for me, and I stopped following CC promptly; hoping that maybe one day he'll return to form.  But right now, he's far from it.  See...the fact is, Fox News is a corrupt organization that leans heavily toward the far, far right, so a station like MSNBC, to me, is justified in its outright liberalism, as the far right Fox needs to be countered, especially where Fox is so vitriolic and hateful.  In fact, in the spring, Fox News founder and owner Rupert Murdoch will have to answer in court for the lies he and his network perpetuated in the media when they face Dominion in court, a company that builds voting machines that were used to tabulate the 2020 election, which saw Biden and the Democrats win by over seven million votes.  Dominion was dragged through the media by Murdoch and his empire for falsifying the election, without any shred of proof whatsoever.  In fact, recounts suggested that it was the Democrats that were short-shrifted in the final tallies when there actually was a difference.  Many republicans have a lot to answer for in court in the coming months.

Why am I so concerned about American politics over Canadian, you might wonder.  It's simple.  Whatever happens there tends to eventually happen up here.  When Reaganomics took over in the 80s, it spread to Canada via the Mulroney government - exit the middle class.  In the 90s, Bill Clinton took over, erased their deficit and brought prosperity back for the working class; while in Canada, Jean Chretien took the reigns and did exactly the same for Canada.  Thank God Chretien was in power when GW Bush took power in the early 00s, or we would have lost innumerable troops in the facade that was the Iraq war.  Obama took over in 08, but Canada slunk to historic lows on the world stage via Stephen Harper through his austerity measures when he failed to see the oil crash in the teens.  When Trudeau came up in '15, Canada's reputation was somewhat cleaned up, but he had absolutely no experience, nor a clue, how to handle himself or a government, installing a pretty much 'woke' cabinet that didn't seem to know their asses from their elbows.  And it's worse today and keeps getting worse.  When Trump came to power in '16, Trudeau hid behind deputy prime minister Chrystia Freeland's skirt at every turn when it came to dealing with the Trump regime.  I would have loved to see how Chretien would have handled Trump, as he reviled GW Bush for his botching of the Iraq war and ballooning deficit; and in fact, the deficit in the States always goes nuts when any republican government is in power.  Anyway, with Trump installed in '16, it heralded a new wave of hate-borne politics and populism not unlike Nazi culture, while he hid under the false guise of being a champion for God and abolishing abortion.  The name-calling and lying was so pervasive from Trump and his ilk that he infected nearly the entire republican party to a point of no return, leaving former colleague and republican Liz Cheney to call him out and take him down, which is happening as I type this.  Flip over to Canada... we have Pierre Polievre, or as I call him Trump Lite, who actually hired Trump's publicist to use the same tactics to gain power of his own.  Now the hatred spewed by republicans in the south has infected Canada, and is spreading; which is bad on a number of levels.  For one, PP supported what looked to be a copycat insurrection bid when a small minority of conservative truckers hijacked Parliament Hill, with one of its leaders gesturing a bullet to the head of the prime minister.  As inept as I find this current Liberal government, violence and hateful rhetoric is scary to see, as we've been primed for it by our neighbours down south.  We actually need a functioning Conservative Party in Canada to keep Liberals in check, but not in the style of Harperites like PP.  So... that is why I watch the U.S. political scene so closely.  It's too often a harbinger of what's to come for us in Canada.  The Biden regime in the U.S. is on a path to pave the way for a green energy revolution, literally while our proposed Keystone XL pipeline expansion is bursting with dirty oil and contaminating land in the States.  But, but, they insisted the pipeline was safe, did they not?  Of course it's safe!  Until it isn't.  Here's the thing... it never was.  If it doesn't contaminate the ground, it will contaminate the air, and poison the world.  With Biden's green energy initiative, it will force Canada to do the same, whether we want it or not.  The customer base for the tar sands' filthy bitumen product is shrinking, and the U.S. was our biggest customer.  Canada only owns a minority of what the tar sands produces.  The time to change and look forward is now, lest we just rely on supplying all of it to China.  And Canada teaming up with China makes for terrible optics.

On a lighter note, the wife and me are looking for some new TV to watch these days, now that baseball season is over for a few months.  We've given a couple of shows in particular a try:  HBO's "Euphoria" and Netflix's "Manifest".  "Euphoria" season 1 was a shocking head-turner; at times glaringly ugly as a car crash, but necessarily so, as it examines the lives of modern teenagers in the big city suburbs while they attempt to come to grips with drug use and sexuality.  I can see it being too much for many.  It's pretty much HBO Shock that they're much known for, not pulling any punches on the subject matter - but the result leaves you feeling exposed to a world you never really knew existed, but that you should know, especially if you're a parent.  It shows us how difficult it really is to grow up in this age of judgemental darkness, especially when kids don't have the support system that a lot of us Gen X'ers and Baby Boomers had, though Gen X'ers saw their support system begin to slip away gradually to what exists today.  We're in the midst of season 2 now, and though it's the season that won so many awards, I find it so far inferior to the first.  It's got a kind of rap music video quality to it that not everyone would find appealing, I don't think, but this show is catering to a specific audience.  Which is a bit of a shame, because as hard and tough as the subject matter is, it can be informative and eye opening to a world that a lot of us would rather turn a blind eye to.  Season 2 up to this halfway point that we're at could be argued as being soft-core porn at times.  Envelope-pushing can be good, but it can also be detrimental if it turns off people that it should be exposed to.

"Manifest" on Netflix, on the other hand, in comparison is a squeaky clean show.  I'd read about it here and there on some entertainment sites where it's been hyped, and thought we'd check it out.  The premise of the show is, what would happen if people got on a plane on a trip somewhere, only to land five and a half years in the future, where everyone thought they were dead because they thought the plane vanished?  It's a fascinating hypothesis.  The passengers from the plane land to find out that over five years on, some of their lovers have moved on to other relationships, while others died during that time, and in one instance, a pair of twins, a boy and girl, were separated with the plane trip, where one of them aged five years while the other did not.  The boy on the plane in this case is central to the story, as he gets vivid "callings", as they're noted as, where he attains some degree of clairvoyancy.  Other passengers also experience these callings more as the show goes on.  The show has a finite future to it, because many passengers claim to have seen their "death date", a time in the future in 2024 when they perish.  They strive to figure out how they can change this future, running into several hurdles along the way, the main one of which seems to be top-secret government oriented as to why their plane vanished to begin with.  Sounds good, right?  Well, the story more or less is.  The drawback to this show is the acting, which is just horrid at times.  It appears to be a somewhat low-budgeted show, with various plot holes, and some allusions that it might be a faith-based program.  If that's how it winds up, I'll be pretty disappointed, even angry that I wasted any time on a show that winds up being preachy instead of entertaining.  But I'll hold out hope.  The wife loves it, even though I tune out when I find it gets a little too silly.  The stars are soap-opera calibre actors at best, and even the story seems as much at times.  But the idea that they're hurtling towards the "death date" is a promise that's too enticing to give up on.  We're two seasons in out of the four currently available.  It's worthy to note that Robert Zemeckis has a hand in this show as producer - he who brought us "The Silence of the Lambs" and Jodie Foster's "Contact", among lots of others.

"Avatar - The Way of Water" is out in theatres now.  We've yet to see it, but we will I think next week when the initial release wears off slightly.  If it even does.  Because James Cameron's movies tend to have a long, long life at the box office.  "Avatar" itself made nearly $3 billion in theatres, after all, and popular word is that this instalment is even better.  I love how everyone underestimates Cameron's shows, as I've heard through the past number of years how nobody wants an "Avatar" sequel.  Well, after this one, there's at least three more on the way, coming out every two years.  "Avatar 3" is pretty much ready to go, just waiting for release.  Its success will determine whether there will be a pivotal "4" and "5".  Then there's "Oppenheimer", Chris Nolan's next crowning achievement.  I wasn't nuts about his "Tenet" film initially, but wow... upon repeated viewing (and subtitles), it leaves me wanting a sequel - not that Nolan is much for sequels.  He did the Dark Knight trilogy, but you could tell by the end of "The Dark Knight Rises" that he'd had enough of that franchise.  Then there's Henry Cavill, the Man of Steel himself, whose namesake movie was written by Nolan.  The DC film universe is upended these days because of new ownership and management, and Cavill has been let go of his Superman role as a result.  Even "Wonder Woman 3" was shelved.  And The Rock's "Black Adam" bombed so bad that it's been permanently canned, too.  We'll see what comes of this mess, but it's leaving a lot of us fans pretty upset.

Something I have that's really, really annoying is a fear of travelling.  Yes, travelling.  Not driving by car to go somewhere, that's the easy thing, although I won't do that without a GPS.  Ah, GPS's... maybe that should stand for Great Profiting Scheme.  I think most newer cars these days come with those installed already, but for those of us with older models - ours is a 2010 Elantra, fully paid for - we have to buy the old GPS units that used to be all the rage.  Here's the problem... we own, it must be four or five of those damned things.  And we keep having to buy new ones because the software becomes outdated, and when you go to connect it to the web to update them, they say you can't because, well, you can't.  It's maddening.  Those things become obsolete before you know it.  So I'm loathe to buy a new one, knowing I'll get shitcanned by the company that makes it in a year or two.  Nowadays, they're kind of rare, so they're way more expensive when you do find them.  Buying them second hand is risky, because a lot of people try to unload them on unsuspecting buyers who think they work like a charm.  Anyway, this makes me having to use Google Maps that I have to print out on the computer.  I refuse to buy data for my cell phone, so I won't get a GPS that way.  Hell, I hate even carrying a cell phone.  I rarely do.  Anyone who's tried to get a hold of me on it does so at their own despair, because I hate the idea of being tethered to technology everywhere I go.  That's just one thing about travelling... the next thing is hotels.  I have no friggin' idea about hotel etiquette, like tipping bellhops - that's probably my biggest anxiety about them right there.  We tend to get motels when we do travel because there's less interaction with people.  There's a place called Red Roof Inn in Mansfield, Mass., that we stay at whenever we go see Red Sox games.  There's considerably low fuss and not much to deal with, but the tradeoff there is that it's not exactly a high-end place.  A few years ago, the wife and me went with our friends Tim and Marley to Toronto to see a show on his dime - it was an extremely generous gift on his part.  I got more and more uncomfortable when I sensed the price tag increasing.  Of course, we were thankful beyond description, but I imagined me handling dealing with it all, and it triggered my anxiety slightly.  We all did it again later, travelling to Portland, Maine to see King's X, and it was a little different I think because it wasn't the big city thing, plus we paid for ourselves.  Tim's a globetrotter, he knows his way around that stuff, so if there's a next time I'm going to have to get him to 'train' me on handling that stuff.  Plus, with the big cities, driving and transit is pretty intimidating to me.  It never used to be when I went to Toronto a lot when I was younger, but I was always with friends who knew their way around.  Janice is considerably smarter than I am, so I feel a lot better when she's with me.  We often combine what we both know to get things done.  Still, when the prospect of travelling comes up, knots form in my stomach because of all the above issues.  That's not good, because I actually like going places.  Maybe the anticipation of going is worse than actually going.  But with my high intolerance for anxiety in the mix, it kind of compromises my wits.  Perhaps familiarity is key here, but also, we can't really afford to travel a lot anyway.  The last time we actually paid for a flight was back in the early 90s when we saw Madonna's Girly Show tour at the Big O.  Flights were fairly affordable then.  Now, post 9/11, it's a huge pain in the ass to fly, and crazy expensive, at least to folks like us.  Last time we flew was when Tim took us to Toronto, and when we went to check in, I couldn't get through the scanner because it kept detecting something on me.  The only thing that kept me from getting my anxiety triggered was imagining myself as David St. Hubbins in Spinal Tap when he stuffed a cucumber wrapped in foil down his pants!  For me, it turned out that I had a foil-lined lens wipe for my glasses in my pocket.  I giggled through the whole thing with that in my mind.  Anyway, I doubt we'll be getting on a plane anytime again soon, if ever.  We love flying, though.

I'm reading this book, very slowly as I'm a slow reader, that was given to me by my nephew/friend/BFAM Shawn called The Book Of Joy, with the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.  He gave me this book years ago, and being the non-reader that I was, I dragged my ass on reading it until I finally retired from work and started picking up reading more.  What a great read this is.  I'm halfway through it, and it's already begun changing my mindset for the better.  If there's one thing I'm guilty of in the past more than anything, it's negative thinking, whether it's about myself or others.  This book is very inspirational in fixing that way of thinking, indeed.  I have another blog page called The Gravy Pot that I kind of gave up on where I was going to review it as I was reading it, but I saw that no one was visiting that page, so I just kind of let it go.  With this, Ragnar Station, it acts as kind of a record of my life, so it doesn't matter so much how many looks it gets, although I'm actually pleased to see that it gets a fair number of views and feedback.  One relative of mine even told me personally that me sharing my struggles with depression and anxiety actually helped him, so that just made me want to write more.  But anyway, this book makes me review how reactionary I can be at times.  Truly, everyone can be too reactionary in many instances, right?  But these two fellows converse throughout the book about how to handle these kinds of things.  I find it brings a lot of peace to the mind.  Janice wants to read it when I'm done, because I rave about it to her a lot.  If you're interested in it at all, you can find it at Amazon at this link.  I can promise you, you won't regret reading it.  Regardless of your faith.

So, right now it's Wednesday, December 21, and the days now start to get longer.  That's the best way to look at the winter ahead, to me anyway.  There's not a lot I like about winter at all.  I don't like the snow and ice and freezing rain, the cold, the illnesses that all go around, and especially when I worked in retail, I hated it.  On top of the shovelling at home I had to do, I had to do it at work too, as that was part of my job as a receiver, clearing the doorway and bay entry areas for trucks and their drivers.  Plus people are so much crankier in the winter!  I get it.  When the daylight is so sparse, and it's a pain in the ass sometimes just to get out the door, there's not a lot to be happy about unless you're one of those outdoorsy types who like skiing or sledding or skating or whatever.  Snow is involved in all of that, so that's a nope from me.  What's worse, is there's no baseball!  Damn it.  I have a grudge against winter particularly for that reason.  Oh, and if you're Canadian, hockey is constantly in your face everywhere, so you're a bit of an outcast if you're not into it.  I used to be, back in the 80s, but when a strike happened, I fell out of it altogether.  Then I kept noticing guys getting clobbered an concussed on a regular basis, fighting like junior high schoolers, while kids in the stands were cheering more for the fights, it seemed, than the actual game.  In baseball, you have the occasional brawl, but nothing in comparison to hockey.  We raised Alexandra in training her in taekwondo, and that's as violent as it gets, as the sport itself is about self defense, not fighting.  I don't even watch boxing anymore because my eyes opened to its brutality.  I think because of the awareness of head injuries and what I've gone through personally with it all, I fear for anyone who's in a sport where the object is to knock your opponent senseless to the floor.  Chronic Traumatic Encephelopathy is something many athletes are left with when their careers are over, and I just don't think playing any sport where that's a possibility is worth it.  "What about wrestling?" you ask.  Pro wrestling is an exhibition, where the 'fighters' actually look out for one another and don't intentionally try to harm each other.  They're storytellers.  They're actually tougher than boxers or UFC fighters because they do it far more often, and head injuries in pro wrestling are taken extra seriously these days.  Although, granted, some wrestlers go overboard.  But none of the injuries are intentional.  It's a bit like Cirque du Soleil, where you have highwire acts for people's entertainment.  No one plans on getting injured.  I know a lot of folks will disagree with me on the whole hockey issue, but men's hockey could take cues from the women, who hardly fight at all.  In fact, I found the women's Olympic hockey often more exciting than the men's.  Less fighting and more actual gametime.

I guess that's enough rambling for now.  Thanks for reading this, if you've chosen to do so, and have a safe, happy holiday season!  Let love rule.

A Moving Movember to Remember

 As a lot of my facebook friends know, I just finished up a run in the Movember fundraiser to help bring in funds for men's mental health, prostate cancer and testicular cancer.  I thought about doing it for months ahead, debating with myself whether or not it was a good idea.  My big fear was, "what if nobody wants to donate?"  I didn't want to look like a fool partaking in a task like this, only to make myself look like a fool.  Hey, I have mental health issues myself!  So the inherent risk there was plenty enough for me to take pause.

I knew that if I joined in on Movember, I'd have to shave the beard and re-grow a moustache.  That's the easy part... if you forget that my facial hair takes a pretty friggin' long time to grow.  The other part of the challenge, for those who wish to partake, is to pledge to run or walk 60 kilometres within the month of November to drum up support to raise money for the movement.  "Eehhhh..." I thought to myself in a bit of a Bugs Bunny voice... "I can try that, doc."  I'm a regular gym goer (no body builder or anything either, I just like to go to encourage my wife - and the added benefit that it makes me feel good), and I don't have a Fitbit or any other fitness tracker thing, and never will.  I hate being tethered to technology.  I very rarely even have my cell phone with me and interact on social media at the end of the day on my laptop.  So, I opted to take pictures with my wife's phone of my progress in distance on the treadmill every time I would start to rack up the km's, and pledged to do it almost every day.

That turned out to be quite the endeavour.  Because I wanted to post on my Movember facebook page every day what my progress was and keep any would-be donors informed of my progress.  I'd be at the gym for anywhere from 2 to 3 1/2 hours nearly every day, doing weight routines and using the cardio portion of my workouts for distance accumulation in the fundraiser.  I became a little obsessed with it actually, perhaps even overdoing it some days, to the point where I was acquiring some pretty painful sores and blisters as a result of my efforts.  I did some research and commentary daily about prostate and testicular cancer as well as mental health disorders to try to bring more awareness to the issues I was trying to raise money for.  Plus I wanted to post a daily picture for folks to see the progressive growth of my moustache.  I didn't smile a lot in those pictures, because I'm one of those people that just doesn't like smiling in photos.  There are a lot of us like that.  People like us are self-conscious of our smiles because it makes us uncomfortable and uneasy to expose our less-than-perfect choppers.  That's just how it is; if you're chronically mentally ill, it's a bit harder.  Smiling with the lips is usually the best you'll get out of us.

Doing this every day was at times exhausting and even trying, but certainly worth it in the end.  If I was going to do it, it would be with both feet, pun intended.  I don't like doing anything half-assed, or else why bother?  I wasn't going to ask someone to sponsor my efforts if I wasn't going to care about it myself.  Ultimately, I wound up running/walking over 200 kilometres, not really setting a goal in that department, but I even shocked myself when I got that far.  The reason I did, particularly, was because of the ongoing support from each donor that backed me up.  Every donation I got put more fuel in my tank, and I just kept going and going.  

But one thing I was sure about when I did my daily summaries of my treks was to tell every donor that I'm running on behalf of them.  This was OUR journey, not just mine.  When a donor joined in, they were part of my team, not just someone who chipped in money, and I would be nothing without my team.  We were doing this together.  And I saw it as my obligation to do them as proud as they did me.  To see people join in the way they did was very heartwarming to me - it's one of those times in my life that will always stand out.

Another thing I pledged to do when it was all over was to write this blog entry, thanking each and every individual donor.  Every one of them kept me going!  It was the least I could do and I'm holding up my end of that bargain.  Gleefully!

Let me get started on that task, in no particular order.  They are ALL champions:

Tim Churchill - If there's truly a brother from another mother, Tim sure fits that bill for me.  We've known each other all the way back to my days at West Lane Green Gables in the mid 80s, and boy, the two of us together were a handful!  I don't want to mention dollar amounts of each donor, because every one who pitched in are all equals in their support.  I do, however, have to mention that my man Tim blew the doors off my initial goal before I even publicly announced I was doing it!  This guy always has my back.  He's one of the most generous and caring people I've ever known, or will know, and this gesture of his made my heart smile a mile wide.  It was like getting a head start in a marathon before it even starts.  Thank you, Tim, my awesome friend.  You keep doing things for me I can't hope to ever repay you for.  The graceful thing about that is, you know that.  I love you like my own brothers, and I'll always be grateful for everything you've ever done in my life - and you've done a LOT!  You're an amazing, thoughtful man to everyone who knows you, and I'm proud to be on your list of friends!

Chris Cook - A nephew of mine, and another guy who's always had my back.  Actually, that's going to wind up sounding redundant, because pretty much everyone on this list has my back.  And Chris really stepped up when I announced I was doing this.  Chris and his brother Shawn were little buddies of mine back in the day when we were growing up, I'm only seven and nine years older than them, so I saw them as little brothers that I never had, where I'm the baby of seven siblings.  I'm enormously proud of Chris for how far he's gone in life.  Talk about a driven man!  His dad, my brother Roy, did a wonderful job raising these guys.  I know how proud he is, and it's warranted.  Really, I wish I could have been as good a guy to him as he has been to me, but that's a real friggin' tall order.  It's a standard that's hard to match.  Chris, my good friend/nephew/brother, I'm proud to be your uncle, and I'm so gratified and what you've done in my fundraiser here!  

Shawn Cook - Might as well keep Roy and the kids together on this!  Shawn is the younger brother of Chris, and those two guys are the epitome of what two siblings should be.  Back in the day, a lot of people used to say that Shawn was a carbon copy of me when I was younger.  In a lot of those older pictures, I can see that, but he's really grown into a vibrant, intelligent, driven man like his brother.  I remember way back when we were kids, I was a huge KISS freak - still am, really - and I wound up making these two bros of mine big lifelong fans as well.  I have great memories of us three digging into KISS fandom!  Both those guys have the same huge hearts.  Honestly, I don't know why Shawn and his brother took such a liking to me, because I just don't measure up to either of them in any way, but I'm flattered and beyond grateful for them both.  Shawn, my man, my other good friend/nephew/brother, you have to know I appreciate you more than I can say, and I thank you for your support, as always!

Roy Cook - The father of Chris and Shawn, and my Best Man when Janice and me renewed our wedding vows in the Catholic Church.  The second in command in the Cook family, and one of my go-to's for advice on countless subjects for his wisdom.  When I was very young, when my Dad was ill with alcoholism, Roy often brought me to his house to hang with Chris and Shawn when Dad hit the bottle a little too hard.  I have wonderful memories of being with Roy at the old Brunswick Downs racetrack on Saturday nights with the other brothers of mine, it was fun for me just to watch the horses race with my brothers.  I was always in his line of sight if anything went wrong, and he'd be there to prop me up if I needed him.  He also did that with this fundraiser.  As the years go by, too quickly I might add, he keeps getting wiser and more understanding like every human should, but certainly not all of us do, but he sets an example.  I appreciate your support, Roy, in this fundraiser and in life.  I love you, brother!

Kim Melanson - A friend of mine for the last 36 years (!), Kim came into my life at a time when things were at their darkest for me up to that point.  We dated for a short time before we became friends and never looked back.  She's been kind to me endlessly in a lot of ways, and this would be no different, when she contributed to my fundraiser here.  She's one of those give-you-the-shirt-off-her-back types and has genuine concern for those close to her experiencing adversity, as is exemplified here!  It's actually pretty wild now that I think of it, that we've watched each other grow through the decades from young adults to where we are now.  I appreciate your kindness through the years, Kim, and I'm glad you endured my own mental illness challenges that strained other relationships of mine through time.  Thanks so much for your thoughtfulness here!  

Cynthia Mayo - My dear sister and second last sibling to leave 136 (I was the last), God knows the torture I inflicted on her as a kid!  Not unlike a lot of large families, add to that how small our house was, housing up to nine of us.  I take responsibility for testing her back in the day and being a little shit disturber, dealing with me in the early stages of my own mental health crisis.  None of us really put it together how 'off' I was as to the reasons why, as clear as it is now.  I wanted to explain that, because we ultimately grew closer over the years, and she's watched out for me, the way siblings always do.  This is no different - stepping up to support me in donating.  Her and her husband George are better than average folks in the generosity department, as I know they're always, always doing something for someone.  Today, she helps give me perspective in many matters in life, and I'm extremely fortunate.  Thank you so much, Cindy, for backing me up yet again!  I love you, my dear sister.

Trevor Goodwin - The husband of my niece Alycia, my brother Pete's daughter, this guy works tirelessly for the downtrodden.  You might see him in the news from time to time, as he's fighting for the benefit and the rights of the poor and the homeless, and he seems very reluctant to bathe in the limelight in recognition of it.  That's not going to stop me from singing the praises of him, though.  I really admire what this guy does.  He's as super kind as I'm making him sound, too.  Donating to my Movember cause is a big deal to me from a guy like him, and I'll always be full of gratitude for this wonderful gesture.  Thanks so much, Trevor, and I'm really happy to know my niece has such a great partner in life.  You're a rock solid guy that the world needs so much more of.... Seriously!

Alan and Lisa Cormier - Friends of mine for decades, and never out of sight.  I can't say enough about these two.  Back in my band days in the 80s, very often they would be around to see us jamming and supporting our efforts, encouraging us even when at times we weren't always that good.  Al is a marvelously benevolent guy, always on the lookout for anyone around him.  If you ever ate at Hines' Restaurant, there's a good chance Al's the one who prepared your meal.  Lisa was there too at one point at least.  She's kind of the gatekeeper of that circle of friends of ours, rallying us all to support any one of us who's ever in any kind of distress or trouble.  How noble is that??  I've always admired her for her caring, protective demeanour, as it benefited everyone around her, even beyond that.  I know these two are strong, loving, caring people for a number of other reasons that make this whole world a better place, including my own.  I'm beyond grateful and happy to have them in my life, and admire the constantly selfless nature of their deeds, including supporting me here.  Lisa, Al, you two have my utmost respect and admiration, and gratitude, always!

Kelly Mockler Verriere - Kelly goes back a long time with Janice and me, when we met her when Tim and her were an item back in the 90s.  Of course, we're all still great friends to this day.  Kelly is special here in the sense that her husband is fighting off a recurrence of prostate cancer, which ironically came to the surface just when I started this fundraiser, so it touches her especially close to home.  Her man, Jean Marc, is a kind, sweet guy who'd never hurt a fly - might actually even save it! - and he's been on my mind every time I hit the gym to rack up the kilometres for the fundraiser.  No doubt Kelly knows we all have his back with his battle, and thankfully, his doctors believe they have the upper hand.  Kelly deserves any help she ever needs because that's all she ever does is help others, selflessly.  If you know her, it's a given that any time you're around her, you'll always walk away smiling and feeling enriched that she's in your life.  Thank you for supporting the cause, Kelly - much, much, much love to you and JM!  I don't doubt the next Christmas season will be better!  

Matt Cook - My brother Greg's son, who's inherited his dad's heart of gold.  Matt's always had an eye out for me, and like Chris and Shawn, I can't really understand why, because I just don't feel like I deserve it.  He's done way more for me than I have for him.  But that doesn't seem to matter to him, he's just one of those kind, bonafide, unflappable people that only wants the best for those around him, even beyond that.  And the guy's brilliant!  Just like all my nephews and nieces.  Matt steps up to the plate on anyone's behalf, when they need it, and my wish for him is that he gets at least as much as he gives.  I'm awfully proud to have you as a nephew, Matt.  I really feel like I come up short as an uncle, being somewhat detached from the family through the years of fighting my own health issues, but you have to know, my good man, that I respect and love you and only want the best for you.  Thank you so much for recognizing my efforts in this fundraiser and donating!

Jana Veltheim Cook - The wife of nephew Chris also donated separately, a sweet and thoughtful gesture that's one of those above-and-beyond kind of things.  I actually never got to be around her for as much as I would've liked, but there's still the future ahead of us.  Whenever the family does get together and we talk, we always have lots to chat about through our common interests (she recommended 'Game of Thrones' and 'The Handmaid's Tale' to us, two all-time great shows), and I even got exercise advice from her, where she's an expert in that field.  It seems she didn't even pause in contributing to my Movember, not realizing Chris already did!  That's a remarkable note on her generosity and thoughtfulness, and the fact that this is a cause to support men's health is especially telling of how big her heart is.  You have to know, Jana, I was deeply touched by this wonderful gesture of yours, and I thank you so much for it!

Rick Cook - The brother and sibling I consider the conscience of the Cooks.  Rick is unwavering in his patience, love and support for anyone connected to him, especially when it comes to family.  In fact, I'd almost wonder if he has a sixth sense which he can detect when somebody needs help with something.  He's helped me with everything throughout my whole life, from bailing me out of my lemon car troubles (countless!), bringing me places when I was a kid in his big red Plymouth, celebrating whatever occasion there might be cause for, and really just being a supporting, loving brother.  I got my driver's license because of Rick.  He gives and he gives and never looks for anything in return.  His support for my fundraiser is no different - every time I posted an update, I know he saw it, and he's always encouraging me.  What makes this especially remarkable is that Rick's had more than his share of hard luck in life, but never ever hesitated in helping someone else in need.  He has my Dad's handsome looks (dead ringer actually!) and my Mom's giant heart (again... dead ringer!).  Boy, am I lucky to have him as a brother.  Rick, I love you and thank you for helping out in my fundraiser and for all of your support... for everything!

Greg Cook - I would have to think that if there were pictures in the dictionary beside words to help describe them, my brother Greg's would be there beside the word "generous".  Whenever I'm around Greg, all there is in the air is this feeling of welcome-ness, love and understanding.  As a kid, once my Dad passed, all of my brothers stepped up and each played 'Dad' in their own way, and Greg's efforts here are prominent.  He'd bring me bowling a lot, take me out on trips, bring me to his place, go to see horseraces with the rest of my brothers, and always was looking for ways to make sure everyone was having fun and felt happy.  I'm a drummer because of Greg, he bought me my first drumset.  When Janice and me got married, we went to Montreal to see KISS and he let us take his brand new van - who does that??  I wasn't always the best of brothers to him, though, and that brings me to proclaim how forgiving he is.  Like, excessively forgiving, if there is such a thing.  He'll do whatever it takes to make somebody happy, even if it means he winds up with less.  Making people feel good seems like a mission in life of his, and nobody's better at it than him!  I'm so grateful to have your support and generosity in this fundraiser, Greg, and I'm beyond happy I have a brother like you with a heart as big as the sun.  I love you, brother!

Kim LeBlanc - Kim's a friend and co-worker of Janice and Alexandra's, and a friend of mine too, I just don't get to work with her like the other ladies do.  Janice's post office at SDM is staffed by a grand total of three people... Janice, Lexy and Kim.  If you ask me, that's a lot of undue pressure for three people to work that department, especially where Kim works only one shift there and the rest at the store front.  But Kim is invaluable to them in that with her learning to work in the post office kiosk, NOT an easy task, it provides my wife and daughter with that much needed breather.  So I'm very grateful to her for that.  And despite barely even knowing me, she insisted on supporting my Movember cause by chipping in to raise the total.  That's thoughtfulness at its best, and Kim, I appreciate it so much!  Thank you!

Peter Cook - The King of the Cooks.  He being the eldest of us, he's also arguably the wisest, and I use that fact to try to gain knowledge to get me through life sometimes.  Or a lot, actually.  I can remember as far back as I think the late 60's, Pete had left the house to pursue life in Ontario, planting roots there and making a pretty good living for himself.  Other siblings would wind up relocating to Ontario after that.  When Pete would come home to visit at Christmas time, or for summer vacation, he'd bring me this jar of pennies that I thought was a king's ransom as a four or five year old, and I remember how important I'd feel!  I have memories of driving with him in his Toyota Celica that he kept in amazing like-new condition, bringing me to his place in Ontario in it for road trips that makes for a lifetime of memories for a kid.  Talking to Pete was always invaluable to me, as I'd always take his advice and put it to good use.  Something I really enjoy with Pete, is talking about music and movies with him, because I can't really strike that conversation up with a whole lot of people like I do with him.  Pete always, always had my best interests at heart and is always showing me the way.  Participating in this fundraiser was no different!  I love you, my good brother, and I thank you for helping in my Movember, and for being in my life!

Kim Roberts-Landry - This lady is another friend and co-worker of Janice's, who got wind of my fundraiser rather late, I guess, and wanted in on The Team.  Hey, there's always room!  Kim gets a lot of due credit at SDM for her friendly banter with customers and willingness to do what it takes to please people.  She's basically the de-facto ringleader of the staff there, ready to stand up for anyone who's having a rough go of things and make the load lighter.  She's got quite a hearty laugh with a smile to match that makes everyone feel welcome, whether you've known her for ten years or ten seconds.  I appreciate very much your thoughtfulness in doing this, Kim, and thank you so much!

That wraps it up for my donors - I did have two people attempt to make a donation that couldn't that I want to mention:  Heather Fallon, whose husband, Mike, dealt with prostate cancer himself, and who I thought about a lot as well through this thing; and also Ginnie Madden, a woman I've been friends with since I worked at the corner store while I wrote to pen pals through rock magazines, along with her friend Juanita.  I appreciate that you ladies made the effort, and it did not go unappreciated or unnoticed!

This pretty much seals the deal for Movember.  Thank you all who participated with me, supported me in any way, donated, everything.  The more people that joined in, the more it warmed my heart, and I'm so grateful you stood up for men's health.  I take it very personally!

I hope you all have a great, happy, safe and blessed holiday season.  And remember... you are ALL heroes to me!

Report Card

It's November.  Right now.  Kinda wild, really, because I'm lying in bed at 4 in the morning with the bedroom windows wide open.  It's 16 C out!  Not complaining.

I have cause for celebration on a personal front, in that it's been slightly over 3 months since my last anxiety attack.  It's freaky that I've gone this long without any real trouble, and before that, it was since February.  This has been a banner year for my mental health issues.

That's not to say that everything is totally smooth sailing.  I still let thoughts creep into my head a lot, about the usual things.  "Do I matter?  Does 'x' friend still care?  What have I done wrong?  Why am I retired, really?  Am I an impediment to the lives of those around me, or an asset?  Am I good for anything at all?"  So hey, why not answer those to myself right now.

Do I matter -- everyone matters.  We all make up this fabric around us called Life.  Remove just one of us from it, and the world changes.  Some people call it the Butterfly Effect.  And it's valid.  Just tonight, for whatever reason, the thought of an old friend from school in grade 7 (my first year in grade 7, no less) whose name was Jamal Islam, approached me in Mr. Chiasson's class, our homeroom, where he put his hand on my shoulder and asked me, "hey Mike!  Buddy, you okay?"  My father had died a week and a half ago.  The sincerity in his eyes was evident.  I was moved by the gesture enough that it staked an eternal memory in my psyche, and for that moment, I felt like I did matter during a time when I questioned everything.  I didn't know Jamal all that well, but never had a problem with him.  He was one of those incredibly gifted kids intellectually, and to feel concern from someone clearly beyond the spectrum of my own cranial capabilities was reassuring.  It kind of helped shape the kind of person I am today, whether I was conscious of it or not.  That gift, that small gesture, is passed on through me to others, whom I have to believe had the same kind of profound effect on their lives.  Knowing this, and reminding myself of it even now, reinforces my belief that I do matter.  That Everyone Matters.  And even the smallest kind gesture has a chance to create a ripple effect that can help change the world for the better.

Does 'x' friend care - I don't know.  There are many who have dropped off of my radar over the years.  For various reasons.  I don't believe I have enemies.  I feel like everyone who's been a friend is always a friend, and if there's been a parting of ways, reconciliation is just waiting to happen, if needed.  I hate confrontation, though, and when someone picks a fight or argument with me, I have to ask myself if it's a debate, or an argument.  To me, a debate doesn't need a winner.  It's just an airing out of one side of a story; and really it can just be a discussion.  An argument, on the other hand, is almost always hostile to varying degrees, where one tries to intimidate the other.  And I hate arguments.  I allow myself to get drawn into them one too many times, and I always regret it.  It's polarising, and creates division.  Arguments have cost me friends over the years.  And by that, I mean mostly by their choice.  Like I say, if you're a friend of mine, I will always be yours.  If you choose not to be a friend to me, that's your decision also.  There are exceptions, of course, in extenuating circumstances.  But when I stop to question if a friend cares, I try not to let it impact the fact that I always will.  

What have I done wrong - God, I'm always doing things wrong.  This is a thing with people like me with really high anxiety.  I'm always asking myself if I could have done something better.  Always second guessing myself.  I could have done more, or whatever.  I think the grace in questioning myself about these things is that I continually want to improve as a person.  No one should stop trying to improve themselves, just never at the expense of someone else.  For the benefit of others, though, that's true grace, to me.  But I still often punish myself for doing things wrong.  At work, that's how it was a lot, with every job I've had, but especially in the last 10-12 years.  I still have dreams now about screwing up on the job.  About language I may have used, things I've done, whatever.  I'm trying to learn to control it, but it's a big job every day to do so.  I look back through the years and often recollect some terrible things I've done and just have a hard time forgiving myself.  As hard as this is to a person with mental illness like me, I prefer to think of that as a tool to help improve myself as I go forward.  It can be hard at times.  And when it gets too hard, that's when I have anxiety attacks.  They began to get frequent at work toward the end of my last job.  Looking at it all from a third person perspective, I can visualise that it's not as big of a deal as I initially make it out to be.  But again, that's the damning thing of mental illness - I can't always convince myself of my innocence.  

And so, Why am I retired really?  This is a question that dogs me every day.  I'm perfectly able-bodied.  In fact, I got a check up recently where the doctor told me my health was exemplary.  I exercise a lot, don't eat terribly at all, hardly drink; I think the only snafu with my health is my sleeping pattern, which I just can't seem to get on track.  But not having to work makes that a lot more manageable than if I was working.  For various reasons, I lack the ability to learn things as quickly as most others would, but there are areas where I can pick things up perhaps quicker than others.  It's just that, in those areas I excel at, they're pointless in the workforce.  I often say I'm a fountain of useless information.  I'd love to be great at math instead of being able to pick out plot points in a complicated movie, for example.  So maybe I should be a movie or music critic?  Right.  That's what the world needs.  Another thing I'm learning as I age is that folks aren't necessarily looking for an opinion that's contrary to theirs.  Being retired, if I indeed am on disability, has its drawbacks.  Socialising with others takes a nose-dive when you're removed from the workforce.  Most people have jobs where they're co-operating with others to get things done, which in turn creates friendships and various beneficial mutual arrangements.  The problem with me is, I have such a high standard of my own performance that when I don't live up to it, I withdraw and punish myself for it.  So, here I am.  Maybe I really shouldn't be so hard on myself.

Am I an impediment to those around me, or an asset - I think I'm an asset to my wife, most of the time.  I tell her the unabashed truth about something when she needs to know it, and offer to help improve it.  I prefer to encourage than discourage.  Especially the older I get, I find the gentler I get.  I don't know if that's supposed to be an age thing or not, but I remember when I was younger how a lot of older people are just more chill than the young upstarts.  I see it in my siblings.  The larger the families are, the more squabbles there seems to be, but as they get older, I guess we all see how pointless and meaningless our differences are.  We can learn to bring ourselves together through our differences rather than spread ourselves apart, because it can be a learning process.  And learning keeps us young, right?  We stop learning, and that's when we really start to get old.  So, when I'm around people nowadays, I try to add something positive to the air, like Jamal did when my Dad died.  I've learned that although you should forgive but not necessarily forget, even more importantly, you should never forget the good things that people have done for you; how they made you feel, so you can pass that same blessing onto others.  Something I'm working on is having the confidence to realise that this is just what I'm doing when I compliment someone, or console them when times are tough.  That's being an asset.

Am I good at anything at all - my problem there is, maybe I am good at some things, but I need confirmation from others to believe it.  I love giving compliments and reassurance to others, but ... this is tough:  I feel like I resist commendation for my own generosity.  If I am generous in any way, that is.  I used to think I was an okay drummer, for example, back in my younger years.  Then I got a lot of negative criticism that make me essentially give up playing for years.  I can't imagine telling anyone they're not good at what they do, so when I hear it, it kind of breaks my heart.  The last person I worked for made me feel unwelcome and expendable, and after over ten years on the job, I got no thanks or goodbye at all - in fact, it felt like 'good riddance'.  I may not have done my job perfect, but I gave it my all.  And to have that effort discarded and ignored devastated me.  In fact, I can't seem to get over it.  I know for a fact lies have been told about me, because my wife caught my last boss in one.  Thus, my confidence is decimated.  I really don't feel like I'm good at anything, just okay at this and that.  But essentially not good.

One of the things that I've been 'okay' at recently, though, is fundraising for the Movember event that takes place every year, where guys grow a mustache and/or perform some fitness challenge to raise money for prostate cancer research and treatment, as well as men's mental health awareness.  I managed to reach my goal of $500 in the first week of the month-long or so challenge, with the spectacular help of my generous donors, who I really feel the need to represent proudly.  Prostate cancer is pervasive in men my age, but there's also a history to it, in that my brother Roy is a prostate cancer survivor.  It was the sole reason that I decided to do it.  And also, there's a family friend, also a Mike, who's a survivor.  Just this past week, as well, the husband of a dear friend of mine, Kelly, found out he has a recurrence of the disease that made me put the whole effort in a new perspective.  It's made the effort to represent this cause all that more meaningful.  And perhaps selfishly, the fact that it benefits men's mental health is also a driving force.  Not just for me, but for friends of mine, whom I won't mention because of the stigma that surrounds the whole subject.  But I do this for them, too.  It might sound cheesy or something, but these people, these causes, all make me want to do well with this thing.  I guess I should also mention that when I was debating with myself whether or not to do it, I kind of panicked.  What if no one donated?  What if folks thought I was just doing this for myself?  Will I look selfish?  Would anyone believe me if I said I really cared about this?  What if I just do this all wrong?  My heartbeat quickened at all these 'what-ifs'.  I decided maybe this isn't for me after all.  For a day.  Then I ultimately got out of my comfort zone and decided to jump in with both feet.  I'm glad I did, as now I see it means something to some people.  But, I don't see me doing it every year or anything.  I really don't like getting around with my hand out looking for money, even if it's not for me directly.  Just typing that line right there makes me feel uncomfortable.

And I don't want accolades for it, either.  It really is a meaningful cause to me, and all those affected.  To anyone who has donated, I sincerely love you for it.  No matter the amount, you pledged and you're making a difference.  I also appreciate those who support me who can't donate.  I know how it can be.

And with that, I'll sign off for the time being.  

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to read my ramblings.  

Musings

IMAX

We went to see 'Avatar' at an IMAX theatre recently.  It was restored in 4K in 3D, and was absolutely amazing to look at.  If you've been to an IMAX theatre, you know the spectacle of it.  We did see it in IMAX when it was originally released, but it seemed to almost live more this time.  I think people's perspectives change as the years go by and their tastes evolve, and perhaps if a film is good enough, things will stand out more as the story has aged, and people have experienced more.  I felt the same when we saw 'Jaws' in IMAX, too.  I have a heightened appreciation for character development in shows now, compared to maybe when I seemed to just veer toward action-centric films for their special effects or whatever.  Watching 'Avatar' again like this, I felt more emotionally vested in the story.  Climate change is a much more relevant issue than it was 13 years ago, and I think future 'Avatar' movies are going to make people take it a bit more seriously.  I think that's what director James Cameron is banking on, being a scientist/environmentalist himself.

Word Up

Something I also took in very recently was 'Blade Runner', specifically Ridley Scott's ultimate cut, or whatever he calls it; the one that came in the boxed set that he released some years ago.  I forgot how cool that package is.  It's got all the versions of the movie, a disc full of extras, storyboard cards, a little hover-police-car replica, lots of reading material, and it all comes in a little briefcase like you see in the film.  This time, we watched the movie with subtitles on, which is making us re-discover movies.  It's amazing the things that you realize you've missed once you've tried doing it.  The collection that I have is in DVD format and not blu-ray, although the ultimate version you'd swear is blu ray, as it's very high def.  If you've never seen the show with subtitles on, I recommend you give it a try.  For any of your old favorite movies, for that matter.

Strange Theory

Watching 'The Handmaid's Tale' this season, I'm really impressed how they've re-invented the show, finally getting it out of the June-escapes-Gilead-but-returns-to-help/save-'X' formula - at least somewhat.  Elizabeth Moss' 'June' character is morphing into a heavy PTSD victim with a vengeance against those who've wronged her, and she's more dangerous and edgy with each episode, it seems.  What I'm noticing about this season is the parallel of Gilead to Trumpism, and how it's seeping into Canada, like everything that happens in the U.S. seems to happen here eventually.  The frightening thing is how prophetic this show has become.  It's actually a warning of where we're headed if we don't change course, and that warning is pretty frightening.  The scariest idea of all is that the U.S. could become a theocracy, with Canada following behind.  And we're not out of the woods with that idea possibly becoming true.

Jungle Gyms

We've been going to the gym for a number of years now, and I want to stress that I'm not bragging about it.  This is just matter-of-fact stuff - and maybe if you are considering joining one, maybe even a bit of a heads-up.  We first started going to the YMCA here in Moncton many years ago, and that became an off and on membership, but mostly on.  We did leave a few times for numerous reasons, none of which are really all that important, even if I did have valid misgivings about it back in the day.  But the fact is, it's right down the street from where we live, making it perfect for the wife to go regularly, as she wants to stay active as a means of fighting off her chronic arthritis ailments and fibromyalgia.  So, that's the main reason we've been going there...  though we've very recently left once again for similar reasons as before.  For many years, we were subsidized because of our low income, but we don't have such financial issues anymore and we paid regular price, which is a little over $100/month for the two of us.  For that price, you get to work out, play basketball or whatever in the gym, access to the pool, but all of this doesn't mean much to us except for the 'wellness center', which is what the workout portion is.  The Y's drawbacks these days are mainly equipment-wise.  A lot of it's breaking down, and they're in no rush to have it repaired, whatever the reason for that may be.  Plus there's a LOT of kids lately.  The gym seems to be getting more cramped with less actual working equipment and more people.  This is all making us question why we bothered paying so much for so little.  We did enlist at Planet Fitness, however.  It's $25/month for a membership, with which you can bring a partner free - so the wife has the membership in her name, and we just both go all the time.  The place is huge, with lots of cardio equipment; and dare I say perhaps too much.  The free-weights area is quite small, and is usually quite busy.  The machines they have are pretty spiffy and up-to-date, though, and I've yet to see a piece of broken down equipment that the Y suffers so much from.  Familiarity is the difference here, I think.  We did love the Y because of its location, but compared to Planet Fitness, PF has the superior equipment, space and general access; not to mention it's open 24 hours, where the Y's hours are much more limited.  Fit 4 Less is much like PF, almost a carbon copy, actually.  But F4L gets broken down equipment a fair bit, at least when we went.  And if you're not careful, you'll be dealing with the shoe nazis at the door.  F4L has pretty much the same pricing policies as PF, making both gyms a cheap and effective alternative to pricey places like the Y or Goodlife.  In short, with our experience, the gym with the most jungle-type atmosphere is the Y, and I can't endorse them at this point, but the other two get a passing grade.  Anyway, if you do like working out, I suggest you try THIS WORKOUT for back and shoulder day by the mighty Chad Hollmer.  It's become my go-to.  Same with the wife.  I find it fascinating, noticing at any gym with us in our mid 50s, we're usually the oldest people there.  The amusing thing I notice is that my 55 year old wife can hang with anyone, male or female, that train at the gym at any given time.  She outworks me on the treadmill.  She's kind of plateaued at losing weight, but I swear her size is shrinking.  And she's stronger than Wibby's home brew.  You don't want to piss her off, let me put it that way.

Misfortune Tellers

To the post-Boomer generations, World War II seems like it's so long ago.  But I can remember the 80s like they were just last week, and we're talking forty-ish years ago.  Back in the 80s, though, forty years ago brings you to war times.  That freaks me out a bit.  Korea and Vietnam would happen, too, even closer to the present that was the 80s.  It all makes me realize just how short life is.  I'll be my Dad's age this December, when he died.  When I think of the forty year difference, that puts Dad at teen-age.  So really, Dad lived through WWI and II both.  I find myself wanting to know how family members recall history, as a lot of times, real recollections from real people contrast images and information that you discover in media and general history.  I have to think that our daughter, who's 26, must read or hear about things like Chernobyl, the Persian Gulf War, Reaganomics, the Nirvana era, 9/11 and other things and think they're as ancient as we thought the 40s were.  It freaks me out a bit, and forces me to come to terms with my age; how healthy I am, where am I headed financially, especially now that I'm on permanent disability, seeing the world evolve technologically while I look upon a lot of stuff the way my Mom used to get confused operating a VCR, but perhaps the most numbing thing I'm facing is seeing people I know going away, without warning most times.  They're dying in their 40s and early 50s - some of them actually cheating death, thank God.  But too many don't.  And it makes me confront the reality that anyone can go at any time, yours truly included.  Growing old truly is a privilege that I'm witnessing not all of us get to enjoy.  Sadly.  So very sadly.  Taking all of this in, it's made me take stock of what matters in life, and asking myself why on earth do I take too many things so seriously, because very little matters when you're confronting your mortality.  It forces you to ask the question of yourself... if I were to die tomorrow, how would I be remembered?  Not just generally, either.  How would you be remembered by the friend you had for years, but you stopped talking because he didn't pay you back that $20?  Staring down at mortality, $20 doesn't mean shit, does it?  Neither do so many other things that are worth far more.  Anyway, I've learned to argue less, and discuss more.  There's a big, big difference.

IMacs

But what a time the eighties were, right?  If you're old enough to have experienced that era, that is.  I've often remarked that it was the best of times, beyond any personal difficulties I experienced myself.  The music was great and fun, and abundant - there was something for everyone.  There was rockabilly, hair metal, regular rock and roll, dance and techno, country, pop, even classical had its day in the sun.  People went out and danced downtown.  Bands were everywhere.  Malls popped up all over the place because people loved to mingle among one another.  We all hung out!  It was the social golden age.  But politics was beginning to take a sharp turn.  Canada had Mulroney, who was well intentioned, but couldn't get the deficit under control.  Reaganomics took hold in the States and spread to Canada, too.  Unions disappeared as a result.  By the end of the 80s, a recession was being dealt with.  The nuclear arms race ramped up between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R.  The threat of nuclear annihilation was always there.  Then Chernobyl happened, and communism began to dissipate, followed by the split of the Soviet Union.  There were reputable news shows and newspapers to report on it, though. There was AIDS.  The ozone layer was depleting, which we learned to fix by eliminating chlorofluorocarbons.  But you know what?  We dealt with all of it, relatively quite calmly.  We didn't all fight each other and judge each other over opinions.  Now it's today... for music, we have hip hop and country and leftover rock bands from the 80's.  Shopping malls gave way to staying home and shopping online.  Nobody dances at all anymore.  Hanging out got replaced by fighting online and in chat rooms.  We're basically being told to fear pretty well everything.  The common denominator of all this versus the 80s?  The internet.  We got on fine without it before it ever showed up.  Not long after it popped up in the later 90s though, so did hatred, misogyny, greed, self righteousness... all of which existed before, but suddenly had the added ingredients of anonymity and lack of accountability.  Some people will point to the Clinton era for blame - because of a cigar and blowjob.  When really, the Clinton administration brought the deficit to heel for the first time since I've been alive, at least.  So did the Chretien government in Canada.  Enter the internet and Microsoft, and here we are.  I know there's irony in me writing this and you reading it right now on the web, but indeed, that's kind of my point.  It's EVERYWHERE.  If you've ever seen the HBO show "Westworld" lately, you can see where we just might be headed, and it's scary as hell.  And I put this to you -- that these just may be, and I would propose hopefully -- the wild west days of the internet.  The web needs a reboot, that employs privacy and accountability in tandem, though it would take bright and noble minds to make that happen.  It needs to be governed against lies and slander, particularly in political matters.  But if I didn't know any better today, I would have to ponder whether or not there's some kind of AI that's working to make people hate and wipe each other out.  If that sounds far fetched, take a look at the current richest man in the world, Elon Musk.  He will soon take over Twitter and grant what he deems as "free speech" to the likes of Donald Trump, a master at inciting division and hatred.  Musk was once the darling of those who dreamed of a prosperous future, fighting climate change with electric ideas, championing the downtrodden, even musing on universal basic income.  As the years go by and the richer he becomes, the more dangerous he gets.  Musk is a proponent of AI tech to replace human workers.  Will AI eventually figure out that humanity is actually the source of all the planet's woes and devise algorithms to divide and destroy ourselves?  An AI mechanised society would survive fine without humanity.  The future doesn't need us.  And it may be more prosperous without us.  It wouldn't take a hell of a lot of logic for AI to figure that out.

Anyway, those are my stories and I'm stickin' to 'em.

Thanks so much for giving me a moment to share my words with you.  

Random Thoughts

 We're currently in the midst of watching the newest season of "Cobra Kai" on Netflix.  What a great show that is.  Not unlike "Stranger Things", it's a huge nod to the 80's and asks you basically to let the story tell itself and to allow yourself to be entertained by it.  Realism is secondary, just like shows in the 80's.  I remember those days watching shows and it was all about pure fun without politicization of current events or any Woke crap.  And it's almost entirely unpredictable.  There'll be a theatrical cinematic movie follow-up after this season - at least I think this season.  Maybe the next.  It's pretty great fun if you're willing to give it a try.

What happened to WWE anyway?  I've always loved pro wrestling.  The theatre, the bombast, the soap opera for action fans aspect of it, the characters, good guy vs bad guy dynamic.  But I stopped watching WWE when I learned Vince McMahon's wife, Linda, was going full throttle in helping get Trump re-elected for president.  Even after the coup attempt and his subversion of democracy all to protect himself.  Now that they're apparently divorced, I thought I might give it a shot again.  Well... the big pay-for-sex scandal came to light where it's alleged by a lot of women in the company that he paid them off to have sex with him and keep it quiet.  It goes deeper than that, but I'll spare the rest.  So then Paul "HHH" Levesque takes over creatively while Vince resigns as CEO and his daughter Stephanie takes over.  I thought I'd take a look.  Being a fan of the upstart AEW promotion, I thought it'd be nice to have two different formats to watch.  Well... I went and turned on WWE programming a few times and was aghast at how astray they've gone.  It's unwatchable to me right now.  It truly is "sports entertainment" like they call it while AEW is "pro wrestling", with far less talk and far more action.  With my long lost Pop having been a big wrestling fan back in the day, I can't imagine he'd put up with the long, drawn out stuff on WWE these days.  Maybe I'll try again a lot later.

Summer is over --- yes, it was hot and humid a lot.  Uncomfortable, even.  But I'll take that over what's to come any day.  Shorter days, rainy fall weather with herky jerky temperatures, dead trees, dead leaves, dead grass; "oh but I love the colors" I'll hear all over the place.  I'm not crazy about all those colors all over the lawn that demand to be raked lest there be a big pain in the ass job to do in the spring.  When it's not raining, that is, because Fall is all about rain.  People seem to forget that too when they wave the Summer Is Dead/Long Live Autumn flag.  I don't dread Fall, I just hate that it's the bridge between the hot sunny days and the long, cold, dark winter nights.  Still, I'll find things to keep me busy.

My Red Sox blew chunks this season, outside of June anyway.  On paper, they looked like a solid contender when Spring came, but then the injury bug bit and just hung around pretty much the whole damn season.  Shit happens.  Boston is not immune to that fact.  I'm wondering if Bogaerts and Devers will still be on the team come the offseason.  They'd better be.  I've read Aaron Judge is a free agent after this season and he won't rule out going to Boston, saying he loves their fan base.  This begs the question... would Boston actually let Devers and Bogaerts go to free up funds to accommodate Judge?  I'd sooner they didn't.  But Judge being on Boston's roster is intriguing to think of.  Anyway, let's see what the Jays do now, where they're poised for the post-season.

KISS is supposed to schedule another 100 dates for the "End of the Road" tour probably taking them to a finish next summer.  This gives me hope that I'll get to see this tour.  As most of my friends know, I was ripped off by Ticketmaster when I got tickets for a show in Bangor, but then covid hit, the borders closed and we couldn't go because of it.  Ticketmaster refused to refund me for my three tickets, so I lost over $400.  Lesson learned.  But I wish Ticketmaster didn't have such a hold on the ticket industry.  It's like a buddy of mine said, it's organized crime, and the governments won't even glance at it.  I've contacted media outlets about what happened to me, and none of them will even acknowledge me.  Here in Moncton, we used to have Ticketron, which I think is based in Quebec.  Prices were pretty reasonable with them.  A Bryan Adams show we saw in Moncton cost us maybe $140 for a pair of tickets.  I brought my wife to a show of his for her birthday, and that ticket price doubled, because it was through Ticketmaster this time.  Of course, there's the new building too, but all those "fees" attached to the ticket are all going to Ticketmaster.  Anyway, I'm keeping my ear to the ground about KISS coming around these parts.  I gotta see my boys one last time.  That band got me through so much in life.  And they're STILL HERE.

Speaking of Bryan Adams, after seeing the great show he put on supporting his new "So Happy It Hurts" record, we got those last two albums he put out that we didn't get around to getting, that one and "Shine a Light".  Listening to both, SHIH sounds like an apology for SAL.  SAL just is not Adams as I know him.  It's him doing his damndest to appeal to the younger generation right now, and not really pulling it off.  But he goes right back to basics on SHIH.  In KISS terms, if SAL is Adams' "Unmasked", maybe SHIH is his "Creatures of the Night".  This year I'd say my favorite new CD up to know would be Ty Tabor's "Shades".  Ty being of King's X.  Not a bad song on that album, and in fact some really great ones.  Also got the new King's X, "Three Sides of One".  Loving it so far.  Can only give a fair judgement on it after a while, though.  Nice to hear Jerry Gaskill get to sing more.  He's kind of King's X's George Harrison, except he's a drummer.  Also great hearing Doug Pinnick go so deep lyrically.  Really I think the only pop star I'm curious about is Dua Lipa.  I love her voice.  Muscular, tight vocal cords are admirable, but more admirable is how much of a person's soul is waving from underneath.  It's why listening to cover bands is often so uninvolving.  It's because they aren't involved or invested in the writing.  A lot of cover bands really are good too, though.

We re-watched the movie "Tenet" the other night, for the third time now.  I didn't look too favorably upon this movie when it first came out, and then it bothered me after a while that I didn't like it.  Clearly it's a well crafted, mega-deep movie where you can see the $$ spent on the visuals.  Well, then I used the subtitles option.  BOOM.  Brand friggin' new movie.  Now I appreciate the story, all the acting jobs in it, the direction of course, Everything.  I've come to realize the more you watch this, the more you get it.  And you feel smarter every single time.  And, if you're reading this and you haven't seen it yet, you can choose to go in cold with the subtitles and watch the movie, or you can go to THIS LINK and read up on the movie first, although kinda blowing the movie, but you'll want to watch it again.  And again.  So anyway, yeah I did order the blu ray on Amazon.  I believe "Tenet" is this generation's "Blade Runner", where it didn't make a huge load in its theatrical release, but gets its value appreciated year over year.  I'd bet the ranch on it.

As a matter of fact, "Tenet", will make you question reality itself.  I question the very nature of the future.  I think it could just be an illusion.  No one's any good at predicting it.  What if the moving present, the here and now, is all there was?  There's no past.  If something happened, it's impossible to go back to it.  Neither can you go forward in time further than it naturally allows.  You can have film and photographs or whatever, but it still won't effectively physically bring you back there.  What if our memories have been written and we didn't experience them at all?  You can't prove or disprove it.  Anyway, so that's what this movie does to your head.

Lastly, a PSA about PSA's... guys, especially us older ones, need to get their prostate-specific antigen tests done regularly.  My beloved brother Roy caught prostate cancer in its tracks with it many years ago and is alive today because of it.  Thus, with prostate cancer being in my family, I keep an eye on it, but just because it isn't in your family doesn't mean you won't get it.  I had mine checked very recently, the doc said 2.5 or so is average for a guy my age, and it was 1.5.  Score!  Peace of mind is everything.  Get it checked.  It's a simple blood test and it could save your life.  Ladies, get your guys checked.  Doesn't hurt to have your PSA checked no matter what your age.  Any guy can get prostate cancer.  Vigilance is key.

Thanks for reading!

Imagine

 Do you believe in God?

Well, I do.  Always did.  If you do, great!  Also, if you don't, great!  

I will judge a person based on how they treat others and how they carry themselves.  I won't judge someone based on their belief systems, if they have any; or how much money they have; the job they work; or whatever wrongs they've committed as long as they regret them, depending on what they are.

There's a lot of talk these days about what makes a Christian.  I think that's a very malleable term.  Being a Christian can be an insult to some, or the highest praise to others.  The way I see it, anyway.  Me, if someone calls me a Christian, I'll take it as a compliment.  I rarely hear it, though.  That's fine.  Especially these days.

Because lately, being Christian is increasingly derogatory, thanks mainly to the far-right.  It's especially scary in the U.S., where God and guns go hand in hand more and more as the years pass.  It's ramped up especially in the last number of years since Donald Trump entered politics.  I've never seen a politician so antichrist in my life as Trump, yet the Christian far-right claims ... literally ... that he is 'the Chosen One'.  I honestly can't think of another politician in North American history more un-Christian than that monster.  In two and a half years from now, if he's allowed to run for president again and wins, that will accelerate the corrosion of society at breakneck speed and usher in the end of the world as we know it.  That's going on right now, but at least with that criminal out of the White House, with his completely unqualified jerkoffs backing him up (many of whom must face justice from this point forward), we see somewhat of a glimmer of hope.  Not all that bright, mind you, but even the smallest match can kill the dark.

The issue of recent times south of the border is gun control.  Mass shooting after mass shooting, school after school getting shot up, even hospitals aren't safe from gun violence.  It's remarkable.  And the solution offered every single time from the right has always been 'more guns!'.  There are more guns in the U.S. than there are people.  Not that that seems really to matter.  Canada has a shit-ton of guns.  The difference between us are the laws.  And the average Joe next door isn't allowed to carry weapons of war.  I've seen lots of pictures of Jesus holding guns at rallies.  Bibles literally with guns on top of them.  A scary number of these people actually think slavery was a good thing!  Is this actually Christian material?!

The Jesus I've been taught about and believe in abhors violence.  He welcomed sinners into his life so he could teach.  He tried to tell us we should be humble and not boastful.  This is a guy who was born in a manger because no one would take in his family.  The man was buried in a cave without any statues or ginormous grave markers that you see at any given graveyard today.  He tried to teach us humility, that we didn't know everything, and that we need to help and love each other.  When Magdalene was about to be killed for prostitution, he dared anyone who was without sin to throw the first stone.  Cancel culture and the whole Me Too Movement ought to learn a few things from this.  None of us have spotless pasts, but all of us has the ability to change.  If we change for the better but someone goes digging for past misdeeds, does that cancel out all that's been learned by said 'sinner'?  So-called Christians, many of them, are pots calling kettles black.  I've been known to be just that way.  But I'm also proud that I had the capacity to learn from my past mistakes.  It may not be a proud moment to do something terrible, but it is to realize that you did and correct it.  To me, that's part of what being Christian is.

And I don't think you necessarily even have to believe in Jesus to actually be Christian.  I know I'll catch hell for saying that with some people.  But it's a lot more Christian to give a poor man $5 begging for money outside a church than it is for another coming out of that same church and sneer at that man.  "Oh, but he might take that money and buy drugs," some will counter.  Bullshit.  That means you are elevating yourself as judge and jury to that man, after walking out of a building you've just claimed you worship as the real Judge.  Moreso, I've seen how people behave right after they leave service.  It's not always terribly Christian to me.

The question of abortion is a very touchy and muddy one.  I hate the idea of abortion.  I'm anti-abortion, make no mistake.  Something that upsets me the most are casual abortions, when a woman gets pregnant inconveniently and decides to terminate.  But this is not a black and white issue!  It's made out to be by the religious right, that's for damn sure.  But here's the thing... you can't be anti-gay and "pro life" at the same time.  There are wonderful gay couples everywhere that are waiting to adopt kids and give them happy, prosperous lives full of love.  If pregnancies of inconvenience are somehow incentivized to follow through on giving birth to pass the child onto a loving couple, whether they be gay or straight, shouldn't that be something that is embraced?  What could be more "pro life" than that?  But the thing is, right now in the south, laws are being passed to force women to carry through their pregnancies whether they want to or not.  On a significantly smaller scale, imagine being an uncircumcised man and there being a law passed that says you have to get snipped, or else.  Risk of infection?  Trauma?  Strain on the health care system?  Too bad.  You've got to do it.  Non Jewish men everywhere would throw the BIGGEST fucking fit there ever was, telling lawmakers they have no right to tell them what to do with their bodies.  Now being pregnant is a far greater risk than circumcision, granted.  The chances of complications, not to mention God knows what the baby may wind up as healthwise - especially if the mother was doing drugs or whatever if she was unknowingly pregnant, or if it was rape or incest - are scary enough to normal pregnancies.  But the religious right is insisting that ANY conception must be carried out.  The government officially owns your body if your pee test comes up positive.  CARRY THAT BABY TO TERM OR ELSE.  That precious, innocent life!  How dare you think of abortion!

That is, until the child is actually born, then the religious right couldn't give a sweet shit what happens from there.  Many of these kids being forced to be born will end up getting killed by gunfire not long after they're born, anyway, with the way things are going.  And republicans won't bat an eye about it.  They'll cry their hearts out to keep their guns before they'll lift a finger to protect these kids who were once babies themselves.  This is the hypocrisy that is right wing politics.  Guns are their kids.  How Christian.

The far right also detest immigrants.  Those fleeing poverty and war, especially if they're not white.  Trump notoriously pleaded with Norwegians to immigrate to the U.S., Norway being almost completely a white country.  Like Russia.  And we all know how much Trump loves Russia, even with their attempted genocide of Ukraine.  They have a missile earmarked for North America specifically named 'Satan'.  It's not hard to figure out how 'Christian' that isn't.  Just how Christian is it to tell the poor and downtrodden that the richest continent in the world can't do anything to help?  Does Jesus approve of that??

Take someone like George Carlin, one of the most famous atheists in recent modern times.  He made no bones about not believing in a 'higher power' (a term I hate myself, if I'm being honest).  But he was a champion for freedom and equality and fairness.  So was Jesus, wasn't he?  Carlin didn't believe in God or Jesus, yet his actions were far more Christian than Trump could ever hope to be.  Take Stephen Hawking, who was another avowed atheist.  A kind soul who devoted his life to teaching science and the advancement of the human race as a whole, whether you were spiritual or not.  Ricky Gervais ridicules religion all the time, but he doesn't hate people who are religious, unless they're genuine douchebags, which is true of too many too often.  He's actually a champion of animal rights and human rights.  So is Bill Maher, a super-atheist, but still respects anyone who believes as long as they're not obnoxious or arrogant about it.  Then he'll let you know what he thinks of your hypocrisy.  He's more Christian than most right wing politicians, whether he wants to accept that or not.

I'm a huge fan of King's X, a band my long-lost friend Steve introduced me to all the way back when I worked at a convenience store in the 80s.  In those days, King's X were lyrically heavily influenced by their faith.  As time went on, though, they became more and more persecuted by evangelical Christians, to the point that it angered them, and one member in particular renounced his faith in Christianity, because he came out as gay and was nailed to the proverbial cross for it.  He may have left Christianity and become more agnostic, but God is still a thing for him.  His actions and his words are still more Christian than the majority of those who actually claim they are.  I met him and the other guys in King's X with some friends a few years ago, and we were all taken aback at how kind, thoughtful, generous, and downright next-door-neighbor-y they were with us.  In fact, I asked Doug Pinnick, the one I was talking about, to write out a verse to a King's X song precious to me that related to my depression, which he also dealt with, so I could tattoo it on my back.  He has a website where you can order these frameable sheets of artfully written lyrics.  These lyrics were written by Ty Tabor, the guitarist, but he sings the verse, which makes it resonate more for me.  He said he'd do it, but with respect to Ty, he didn't want to sign it.  I was over the moon that he would do it!  Not to mention, he only wanted postage to have it sent.  I told him I couldn't just let him do it for nothing, so I sent him $60 U.S.  He promptly sent me the lyric sheet, along with some bass picks, a personally autographed solo CD of his, and a few other things.  How cool is that??  Show me an artist more generous than that.  The man's not rich.  King's X does well overseas, but they're essentially a club and theatre band stateside, and have never been profitable.  The fact that he did what he did for me makes him Christian in my eyes.

Jesus said that no one enters into the Kingdom of Heaven except through him.  I truly think Jesus would accept anyone as kind as the people I mentioned above into Heaven based on how they treated everyone else.  Because that is what defines a Christian to me.  Some would agree and some would disagree, which I respect.  The older I'm getting, the more I see the Holy Bible as a book that speaks in metaphors - not necessarily exclusively, but particularly pertaining to a lot of stories that are particularly hard to envision actually happening.  My thought is that they're lessons through metaphors, based on things that actually may have happened.  What about the Bible's wording itself?  How it was originally written can be lost in translation.  Chances are you've eaten earth apples.  Oh, you didn't?  In French, potatoes are "pommes de terre", which translates directly to earth apples.  Add centuries and more translations and revisions, along with other religions' version of what happened, and you've got one confusing story.  To me, the Bible is kind of a human's handbook on how to live, which, like everything else, would have to adapt to the times as we move forward.  I don't think Abraham would get away with tying up his son and get him ready to be torched in this day in age, for example.  Nor does the God I believe in actually tell him to do it, only to step in and say "whoa, DUDE, just kidding!"  The God in the New Testament just doesn't seem to be much like the God in the Old Testament.  But you can certainly take great elements from both books and use them to help guide you in life.  Being a Christian myself, I've chosen to adopt what Jesus taught, with consideration to his possible amendments.  Jesus amended much of the Old Testament when he was alive.  Wouldn't that be because people just evolve and grow?  Today we have things like industrialization, electricity, multiple forms of transportation, and constantly evolving technology.  Surely we can't live exactly the way we did as they have back in Jesus' time on earth.

And if you agree with that, then ponder this... Right now, the abortion debate is going on all over North America.  I stop and think of what I'd feel about that if I was a woman.  I'm no longer in control of myself.  If this is the case, and I was pregnant for any particular reason, I can't imagine what it would feel like to know that the law can force upon me their laws in governing my body.  That just sounds like a nightmare.  If I wanted the pregnancy?  Great!!  I will take care of that child and do whatever it takes to raise said child properly.  If I don't want it?  What if I drank heavily at the time of conception, or even during the first number of weeks before I realized I was pregnant?  What if I was raped?  Incest?  You're telling me I have no choice in any of these matters at all, because it's the law??  Then if I need this pregnancy terminated, I'm going to the gym and lifting the heaviest weights that I can't lift.  There's the coat hanger option.  Maybe there's some other way I can harm myself that will justify getting what I want.  THIS is all the stuff that's going to go on if we treat women this way.

And speaking of technology... it's inevitable science will get to the point where, instead of abortion, the fetus is safely extracted from the mother, and raised not unlike "test tube babies".  You would then have a healthy child waiting to be with a pair of loving parents, instead of an outright abortion.  That, to me, would be an acceptable compromise.  But with the current state of affairs, the religious right would do everything possible to make all of that illegal just like abortion.  No compromise.  Their way or the highway.

In a perfect world, of course, there is  no abortion, and every child is wanted and welcomed.  Also, in that same perfect world, there is no rape, incest, assault or lack of love to be sure someone is equipped to look after a child.  The thing is, there's lots and lots of all that terrible stuff going on right now, and will be for the foreseeable future.  Not every conception is equal.  So what can we do then?  Start by treating women as equal human beings with the same rights men have.  That's a massive start.  Women will be taken care of for their child no matter what.  During and after the pregnancy.  But this isn't happening, and too many people in power just don't want it to happen.  Most of these people call themselves "Christians".

Let me be clear, I'm a God-loving Christian man.  And I believe if people are all viewed more with love and understanding, and forgiveness when applicable, things like abortion would drastically wane.  Without laws and subjugation of women.  

As one famous atheist once said, "Imagine".