Y or Y not?

If you've been following my blog here, you might know that I suffer from depression and anxiety since I was a teen.  I've tried multiple treatments.  Some have had a positive effect, some negative, some nothing.  But one treatment I've come to know that is consistently positive has been exercise.

That's a dirty word to a lot of us.  Going to the gym isn't necessarily a fun thing, but, if you go enough and see results -- or let me clarify:  FEEL results -- you find yourself forming a habit and addiction that's actually good for you.  A good sweat session clears the head, purges negativity, and increases confidence.  While it may not be a cure-all for everyone for depression and/or anxiety, it's going to have a good impact on your body and soul if you let yourself in the right mindspace in conjunction with physical activity.  I wholly endorse it. 

Many years ago, the wife and I made the decision to join our neighbourhood YMCA once our taekwondo club closed its doors.  We didn't want to continue with martial arts, so we elected to take the plunge and join the Y with its large gym facilities.  It's just a five minute casual walk from where we live, to boot, so it was almost like it was meant to be. 

Our finances were in a bit of a shambles at the time.  We were very green to the process of buying a house, and we took the one we have out of desperation and necessity, since I was more or less dying of mould poisoning at our previous residence.  For real.  I went to the ER several times from not being able to breathe.  As it turns out, moving away from where we were to this house saved my life.  But, as I said about being green to the world of mortgages, we unknowingly signed into a horrible deal where we were going to pay an insane amount of our lifetime earnings for our dwelling space.  We did resolve this eventually, but not without considerable trial and error. 

With that in regard, spending over $100 a month on a gym membership was rather daunting, but we took the plunge anyway.  Months later, we realized we couldn't continue with it, and we sought out and tried other gyms, all of them considerably cheaper.  Then we learned about the Y's subsidization program, where you pay a fraction of the designated monthly fee once they see proof of your income and expenditures.  We wound up re-joining and staying with them for many years with this plan because it was affordable to us.  Their policy is that they never turn anyone away, and they didn't with us.    .......yet.

Janice lost an incredible 75 pounds through training at the Y, and I think it may have saved her life.  She developed courage to fight her numerous diseases and defied doctors who told her she couldn't do any kind of even moderate physical activity; she was even told she was going to wind up in a wheelchair.  But she persevered and transformed herself.  The welcoming atmosphere at the Y was just what we both needed to keep going back.  For myself, the consistent exercise that I decided to make a part of my lifestyle very much helped me manage my anxiety issues.  This was an integral part of the therapy needed to keep my issues somewhat at bay; not a cure by any means, but it made a world of difference. 

The counter staff were always very gregarious and understanding of our situation when it came time to reassess our income and expenses to meet the standards of the subsidization program.  Until March of this year.  During our last reassessment, a newer person discussed our situation with us, and upon this person's own view of our finances, starkly decided we didn't qualify for the subsidization.  This left us both in shock.  Nothing had changed, yet, although we knew with the new year coming, the time was going to arrive where we actually would be able to pay the full price of membership, but not until then. To make things worse, on the statement in question, there was a $200 balance in our account, which seemed to convince the associate that we were actually doing fine financially.  Telling this person we had car repairs to take care of that week did nothing to sway her opinion (those repairs wound up costing us $800, to make it worse).  But this associate was quite cold and demeaning to my wife when Janice pleaded her to reconsider and shut us down.  This left us both in shock.  We were welcomed there with open, friendly arms for years.  Now all of a sudden, we were virtually thrown out.

I was quite upset at the welcome mat being very rudely yanked out from underneath us, so I decided to contact the YMCA through their Facebook page via their messenger, on which they claim to typically respond within a day.  I sent this message in March.  I'm still waiting for an answer.  I know the message was read back then, because it's denoted on messenger that it was.

We made the decision to join another gym in the city, though nowhere near our neighbourhood, but the price for membership there is comparative to what we were paying under subsidies with the Y.  We're happy at this new gym, though.  It's open 24/7, is clean, with new machines and a spacious free weights space and stretching room.  It very well suits our purpose.  But we still feel very burned from our exile from the YMCA without any conversation whatsoever.

I figured six months was plenty, and so I'm going public now with the message I sent them.  I doubt this will have any affect whatsoever, but I do feel the need to put it out there.  Perhaps they can enlist any individuals at their desk with some kind of sensitivity training to learn how to properly deal with those reaching out for help, like we did.

This is the message I sent to them.  All of it is true and without exaggeration or embellishment. 

Hello, Just wanted to send you fine folks a few comments before my wife and I depart your facilities. We've been members of the Y for roughly 10 years, with a brief break somewhere in the middle. We came back after that break when we found out we could apply for subsidization, as we left in the first place because, with our modest incomes, we couldn't afford to go anymore. My wife and I both have registered disabilities. She suffers from psoriatic and rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, thyroid disease, and even other illnesses that challenge her daily. Going to the Y helped her enormously in mind and body. It was with you that she lost 75 lbs and made new, healthy habits to give her hope in leading a better life than fate had first laid out for her. I'm very grateful for your part in this. As for myself, I'm 53 years old. In my youth I suffered a number of serious head injuries, resulting in concussions that would leave me with permanent lasting effects that I have to face every day. I wound up with severe depression and anxiety issues that rather hinder my ability to handle matters of sociability, and other things, not the least of which are self-harm episodes.. My wife handles most of our communication dealings, because my anxiety issues prevent me from articulating properly. Of course, this does not apply to writing. I take medication and am under care of a physician and psychiatrist to try to help me handle things. My wife deals with her illnesses much the same way. We have drug plan coverage which pays for the cost of our very pricey meds that, without them, we simply couldn't live a normal life. My wife struggles sometimes, but with her medication and physical activity, partly through help from the good people at the Y, she does well. As for me, as you likely know, physical activity is great medicine for depression and anxiety too. Thus, we've been regulars at the Y for these many years. We also had troubles financially through those years, which is why help through you for our memberships was a Godsend. But we couldn't afford to go to the Y any other way. As of right now, for example, at the beginning of every calendar year, each of us has to pay a $150 deductible fee before our medication is covered. My wife's is paid up. As for me, I'm rationing my medication until we can get our finances together to bring things to balance. These are just facts that we're forced to deal with. When my wife was summoned for re-evaluation, as per every six months or so for subsidies with you, the person who looked after us told us we were no longer eligible. We don't want to mention names or get anyone in trouble, so we won't, but it left us rather shocked. We'd never been treated quite like that from you before. Tonight, my wife and I made the regrettable decision that we have to leave because of affordability issues. We thought we might hear something like, "is there something we can do?", but it was the same person we dealt with before, so that didn't quite happen. We wish you offered some kind of program where lower paying members only required the use of the wellness center section, since we never use the pools or gymnasium or anything. Perhaps in the future? As it is right now, we can't afford to stay. We weren't looking for a hand-out, as much as we were a hand up. We regret having to leave, because the staff and fellow members are top notch. You really do have the best gym in town. Unfortunately, we don't even feel welcome there now in light of the treatment from this desk server. We have till next Tuesday left on our current membership. We will take advantage of those few days left and figure out what to do and where to go from there. We didn't want to leave without being honest with you first as to why we did. We'll miss the staff in the wellness center, and hope that you don't take this as a hasty act on our part, as we've carefully considered everything. We don't ask that you beg us to stay or anything, but we do hope you consider our story and remember it in the future for when you deal with others like us, which I'm sure there will be many. Once again, thank you for the years of support. We do hate to go. Regards, Michael and Janice