Personal Blog: KISS Was There

KISS was there when Dad died in February, 1978.

KISS was there when my friend Darren introduced me to you with "Destroyer".  Then I wore out my brother Rick's "KISS Alive!" 8 track.

KISS was there when I got hit in the forehead by a man's line drive baseball and suffered a concussion.

KISS was there when I needed to get into real rock and roll.  So was Jim Rice and the Red Sox.  KISS had lots of releases around this period and made for the best distraction at the worst of times.

KISS made me pick up drumsticks made of an old wooden broom handle to play on cardboard boxes and pots and pans.  My brother Greg then bought me a drumset and even gifted me lots of KISS records.

KISS was there when I met my buddy Larry in grade seven, and we bonded over our fandom for KISS and learned our skills as a guitar player and drummer.  He's a good friend to this day.

KISS was there when I had trouble in school, with what I know now was a learning disability. 

 'Dynasty' was my record of choice when I was down in the dumps.

KISS was there with a new album out for me to decompress from life with.  "Unmasked" was on the turntable for months.

KISS was there when I nearly gave up drums, but heard Eric Carr and just kept playing even harder.  "Creatures of the Night" literally changed my life.  Carr is tattooed on my left arm.

KISS was there when I failed in school and was tempted to give up.  They said Don't.  After all, they didn't, after they released "The Elder".  And 'I believe in ME'.

KISS was there when people made fun of my complicated acne and girls stayed away.  The asskicker album "Lick It Up" made me smile when I thought I'd lost it.  "Animalize" would do the same.

KISS was there when as a teen I needed positivity to balance out the negative. "Asylum" would energize me.

KISS was there when I was getting beaten up at school for liking them - they said GET UP.

KISS was there when when I was hit by a car three times in the early 80s, and fought through serious concussion issues.

KISS was there to keep me cheery with my Mom, who needed someone to make her laugh in the years after Dad passed.

KISS was there when friends came and went and I felt like I was alone.

KISS was there when I finally got a girlfriend.  'Creatures' is the soundtrack for that time for me.

KISS was there when I met my first serious girlfriend, Michelle - I scrawled "KISS Lick It Up!" on my desk in grade 11.  A girl replied and wrote "It's only right, now!"  And we got together and went out for seven years, and she's still a great friend today.

KISS was there when I endured a bleeding ulcer that could have killed me.  They had lots of video releases that kept my imagination busy.

KISS was there when I contemplated suicide, a result of so many head injuries and a lack of knowledge back then about how to treat them.  Hearing any KISS album helped fix this.

KISS was there when I failed grade 12 and couldn't graduate with my girlfriend.

KISS was there when I got my first job in '84 (worked there for seven years), and I rattled the store windows on the night shifts with my KISS CDs and tapes - they kept me awake!

KISS was there when I bonded with another good friend Pete over KISS fandom.  We then formed various jam bands and played their songs.

KISS was there when I convinced my band at the time, Asylum, to play "Love Gun" and "Rock and Roll All Night", and even got crowds singing along with us, thanks to another great friend, Wayne, another friend I met through KISS interest.

KISS was there, at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto on the 'Crazy Nights' tour, when three friends and me took a torturous train ride from Moncton to Toronto, barely slept, and tore our voices out screaming along with KISS.  

KISS was there in Toronto with Whitesnake and blew the 'snake away, even without the HITS stage.

KISS was there when I took my first jaunt to the U.S. and saw them in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, with three great friends.  It would so sadly be the last time I saw my hero, Eric Carr.

KISS was there when my Mom took ill with dementia.  I stayed home and didn't move out until she had to go.  KISS music was a way of assuring that it'll be alright.  Their "Revenge" record was their saying to everyone who said 'they're done' and giving them a huge middle finger.

KISS was there when I broke my foot and lost my job, my girl, my grandmother, and eventually, another job.  They just kept releasing albums, giving me the exit ramp away from stress.

KISS was there when I began to date my wife Janice, with whom we bonded over "God Gave Rock and Roll To You II" - She heard the harmonies and has been a fan ever since.

KISS was there when my wife and great friend Steve (God rest his soul) saw the 'Revenge' tour in Toronto, after driving for 16 hours to get there, and they were at MuchMusic studios with a throng of us looking in from outside and nearly shattered the windows.  Gene points up and says, "Moncton!"

KISS was there when I lost my job and couldn't get another for three years, even after going back to college.  You can't listen to KISS and not get your mood up.

KISS was there when my girlfriend (wife to be) Janice would bear our one and only child, Alexandra, who has been a fan literally since day one.  Born into 'The Army'.

KISS was there with 'Unplugged' and 'Carnival of Souls', to help me keep the faith with rock and roll when it was dying.

KISS was there for us all when they announced the reunion tour.  I saw it with my friends Tim and Pete and Al.  It was a magical time.  I got my job for the next 11 years as a driver at the same time.

KISS was there for me when Mom died of her disease.  I remember her saying one time, "do you think Gene Simmons would sing "When You Wish Upon A Star" at my funeral?"  Now it's all I associate that song with: My Mom's love for it.

KISS was there for my wife and me when we got married, and the honeymoon was the 'Psycho Circus' tour.  Our song, of course, is "Forever".  She proposed to me, so I sprung the surprise wedding on her.

KISS was there in Montreal when we took in 'The Farewell Tour' (really farewell to members Ace and Peter).  It was a fantastic but bittersweet show.  

KISS was there through the '00s, even if they didn't release new stuff.  If something's wrong, get your KISS records out and shout it out loud.

KISS was there in Halifax my wife and daughter went there to see KISS in front of 30,000 fans.  

We saw them in Mansfield, MA on the 'Sonic Boom' tour.  We saw them in Saint John, New Brunswick and again in Halifax for the 'Monster' album two nights in a row.  

KISS was there when Steve died in '15.  Steve was such a die hard fan that he requested 'Black Diamond' be played at his funeral.  It was strangely moving.

And we will be there, Janice my wife, Alexandra my daughter, and her boyfriend Cole for KISS November 18 in Montreal on the 'End of the Road' tour, all the way from Moncton.  They will end it on December 2 in New York.

Thank you, KISS, for having my back throughout my life.

Opinion: About face

As the last week begins before we take off for Montreal for the last KISS show we'll ever see, I thought it might be time to talk a bit here about what's been going on.

Given that I've at least temporarily given up on facebook, I have not indeed given up on my blog page, where I feel better about talking about myself than on social media.  I thought I'd give an explanation for my absence there, for anyone who might care at all - and I should stress it doesn't matter if you don't.

Here's the thing about facebook for me:  I thought I'd give it an extended break and see how it affects my general view, where it's commonly noted these days that getting away from it improves one's outlook.  I'm here to tell you that this is all true.  

I keep my facebook messenger open, though, for anyone who wants to contact me that way.  Though I still have to field the odd joke or forward like traditional e-mail.  I'm not a fan of that stuff, if I'm being honest.  I would rather messenger be a more personal space for discussion.  I don't want to put anyone off about my stance on this either - I'm not doing this to offend anybody at all.

But I am doing it as a part of my effort to attain a good level of self-care via my own mental health.  I've taken a few steps back from facebook and Instagram and realized just how vain those places can be.  And I've been a part of that!  Not proclaiming innocence, here.  In fact, I look back on a lot of my activity on social media over the years and cringe at some of the things I've said and posted.  Even recently.

It's occurred to me that we don't need to put our views on politics on full display for the world to see all the time, if any time at all.  Before social media, the only way you'd do that is have face to face conversation with someone.  And you'd temper your remarks, being mindful of whomever it is you're talking to.  With social media, you're giving blanket statements without any regard for how you might come across to someone else.  Thus revealing problems with the written word.... with the number one problem there being context and perception.  How you speak something can be a night and day difference from how you print it.  And I really believe people's sensitivity needs to be considered.  I know what some might say if they read that.... "oh, you mean the snowflakes."  Which only would solidify my argument.  

The whole "Snowflake" moniker, toward someone who appears sensitive, is absolutely offensive to me.  Here's the thing... since facebook and others have come to prominence, mental health issues have only increased in numbers.  When you say something like what you're reading here right now in print, you're saying in your own mind how it's being said.  You're not saying it how I might say it.  Verbal expression would be key in how you perceive messaging.  Not to mention, unless the user deletes what they've written, the written word is there to stay and isn't going anywhere.  Words in the wind pass the instant they're said, relying only on the memory of the person they're spoken to for record.  This isn't all to say that the spoken word is necessarily better than the written one - but the written word needs more care in its crafting, given its relative permanence.

Thus, I've taken a sabbatical from facebook and Insta.  I am on Twitter/X, but really just to see what others are talking about.  Engaging in social media conversations opens that door just a crack for misinterpretation, which can wind up being quite damaging.  If I'm on facebook every day, or semi-regularly even, then I'm expected to say Happy Birthday or Happy Anniversary or Congratulations for whatever, and if I don't, I'm not a "friend".  Not a real one.  What a load of horseshit.  If we gauge each others' friendships based on our social media presence, then we don't actually have a life at all, do we?  At least not with those who merit friendships that way.

I'm not saying, either, that I haven't taken part in that very type of conduct.  Like I said, I cringe at some of the things I've posted in the past.  I'm far from a perfect friend to anyone.  Even some blogs in the past I feel are cringeworthy.  But when it comes to my blog page, you don't have to visit it.  When you go to facebook, you have all your "friends" right there in your face telling you something that just might piss you off that you didn't have to see in the first place.  That you didn't want to see.  At least with this blog page, you have a general idea of what you'll get because it's only me.  My point of view IS the point of this page.  And my point of view is no more valid than yours, just because it's on a blog on the internet.  But, sometimes it can be entertaining.  In my case, I kind of hope for that.

I read recently that a potentially cataclysmic event could happen in the next year, with solar flares possibly being so severe that it could disable the internet entirely, because it relies so heavily on satellites.  What if the internet were wiped out?  What would we do?  Beyond business transactions and power sharing, etc., we would actually be forced to talk to each other.  I think that's a nightmare scenario in itself for a lot of us.  But that's only because we've let social media rewire how we're expected to communicate with one another.  The more distant the contact, often the more distant the relationship.  There's face to face conversation - then there's the postal letter - then there's the telephone - then there's social media - and now texting.  The next form of communication that arrives to us will likely pull us even further away from one another.  I have social anxiety, so chronic that it forced me out of work permanently.  I have to wonder if this would be so if it weren't for the faux-connectivity the internet has provided us.  I only started hating the phone after social media showed up.  It seems the more "connected" we become, the more we de-evolve, actually.  And I don't know if this is something that can be reversed, short of a potential disaster like I noted above.

Anyway, to those who I might have miffed by not being present online, it's not some kind of personal affront.  Not as much as it's an experiment of my own to see how distancing myself from social media affects my own health.  And I would have to say, after over a month, everyone should at least try doing this.  It really does change your outlook.

I'll continue to keep this blog active, though.  I like to write.  I also very much appreciate you reading what I write, should you be reading this right now.  

Thanks for visiting my humble blog.  

Special thanks to Kelly.  (she knows why)