Sunday, February 19, 2023

These Are the Days of Our Lives - week 7

February 12 Sunday

In reality, right now it's 10:12 am on Monday.  Last night was yet another rough night to sleep, getting maybe three hours.  So, I'm taking that bastard bull by the horns today and doing whatever it takes to stay awake.  Enough of this.  Energy drinks, caffeinated beverages, you name it.  *  Anyway, yesterday... or I could address it as 'today' seeing as that's the heading... Janice got home from her four hour shift at the store and crawled in bed with a sleepy me, while I snoozed until around five or so.  Woke up, got out of bed, and dragged a brush across my head.  And after farting around a little bit, we got ready to go to the gym.  We'd originally planned on having meatloaf for supper, but we need more things for it and the stores aren't open that late on Sunday anymore.  Not to mention, I've been crapping my brains out since Saturday night.  I've got the 'ring of fire' going on around Myanus (not Uranus).  I'm now suspicious that I have some kind of sensitivity to wheat flour.  I made those ginger snaps and we had those wings with the coating Saturday night, and wow... thunder down under.  Been going to the can way too much since.  It might be just overkill, too much of something, but Janice is not affected the same way at all, and she ate what I did.  What I'll have to do next wing night is scale back how many I make, if it's the coated variety, and balance the meal with something with fibre in it.  I've always had a nervous gut, too, so that plays a part.  Anyway, I wasn't entirely sure if I was fit to go to the gym this day, but I was kind of determined to.  I wanted to get Janice there because she's quite committed.  Plus it's machine Leg Day, and we kind of like this one.  We head out to PF and start to get into the groove, putting in a mile on the treadmill first; though we weren't going to be doing a whole lot of cardio today, since we arrived around 9:30.  After that, it was onto the machines, six of them altogether, and did squats to finish off, where we both reached personal bests.  I was able to do 245 lbs eight times, and I pushed Janice to move to the next level, which was 125 lbs five times.  Those are big girl weights.  You don't see a lot of women doing that much, much less 55 years old.  I made sure I got pictures
of that.  She finished things with stretching and more cardio, while I did weight resistance crunches, stretching and a farmer's walk, where I did a personal best of carrying two 45 lb plates around the perimeter twice in one trip.  Finished off with another mile in cardio - I think Janice did three altogether - and we left it at that, at a paltry (by our standards) two hours.  *  Moncton was moderately mild today, I think the temps were minus 5 or higher.  We drove home on the lonely roads of the uptown, got in the house and up to the showers we go.  MMH following us along the way.  It was hair day today for me, where I get Janice to shave along the border of my hairline, something I have to get done every three weeks or so.  That's the extent of me getting a haircut.  In truth, it hasn't actually been cut in over 13 years, I wasn't even quite working in Riverview at my last job yet.  We opted this night for Chunky Soup again, Janice with her chicken noodle, me with my split pea & ham, and crackers.  We tuned in to CBC Marketplace where they did a story on the 'fees' taking over pretty much everything, but they focused especially on Niagara Falls and credit card gift cards.  It's shocking how much we're getting gouged.  At least in the States, they're doing something about it, but up here in Canuckville, we have a government and prime minister that couldn't give a rat's ass, apparently.  That reminds me... I'm going to give you THIS LINK to sign a petition, if you're a horse lover.  Trudeau promised to stop this from going on in '15, but, like just about all his 'promises', hasn't done jack squat about it.  Horses are routinely being shipped from Canada under cruel and inhumane conditions to Japan to be brutally killed and stripped for meat.  What is it with so many Asian countries that they have to eat anything that moves??  Anyway, this is reprehensible and really, really needs to stop.  
I know all the boys in my family are horse lovers at least.  Get on it, fellas.  And pass it on.  This is a blight on Canada.  *  Got off track there-- we decided to shut things down shortly after heading to the Promised Land, and I was tired enough to attempt sleep, without oil even.  Three, maybe four hours.  Janice was moaning a lot in her sleep, and I did a lot of stroking her head when she did.  It calms her down.  She was on quite a coughing spree the last couple of nights, I think that's remnants of Covid coming through.  I don't get upset about it, she's the one who's suffering.  I do what I can to alleviate it, which is not much.  *  So, here I am on this Monday morning.  We had to bring the car in to the shop for an oil change and get the oil pan replaced, and an air filter.  This won't be cheap, but we're prepared for it.  I brought Janice in to work and took the car in, and now I'm here waiting.  I guess I'll walk to Rinzler's this morning and get supplies for that meatloaf while I strive to stay awake.  *  Oh yeah, and it was the Superbowl last night, with Rihanna performing the half-time.  Some loved it and some hated it.  I guess the game was good, though.  I'm no football fan, so I just go by what I hear.  Also, three more objects shot out of the sky this weekend.  I don't know what to think of all this.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

February 13 Monday

Ah what a day.  *  I did indeed wind up staying awake for the whole day.  Got going with a Coke Zero Vanilla and later on had this Mountain Dew energy drink from the States - with no sugar, I won't drink those things with sugar in them.  It gave me the boost I needed.  I did indeed head out to Rinzler's and got potatoes, carrots and bread, and walked back home, actually enjoying the fresh air.  Upon getting home, I realized looking at my meatloaf recipe that I needed milk, so back on the street I go to the Canadian Tire store (formerly Irving) up the street from my old house on Emmerson, now Cassidy, to get some.  Going up that street, it's amazing to me how much has changed.  No one that used to live there does anymore.  Our next-door neighbours were the Longphees, then Gallants, then someone else, and the LeBlancs, then there was us, the Traceys, McDonalds/Pskowskis, O'Briens, Palmers, Cormiers, Bourques, Linneys, Lutes, Wrights, Moulands -- all gone.  And us Cooks, of course.  It dawned on me upon me gazing at my old Cook house, 136.... in '92, after living there for the first 27 years of my life, it was just my Mom and me left.  Mom got taken out of the house because of her onset of dementia, which left me there for a short time before I had to leave so the house would be sold.  It was surreal seeing the realtor's lock on the door.  My last moment in that house, I was alone there, looking around at the bare rooms; I turned out the lights on the way out, and at the front entry, I 'hugged' the doorframe and tearfully said goodbye to this house that took care of us Cooks for so many decades.  I had nowhere to go - thankfully, Janice took me in to her apartment.  It was a bit shocking to think that I might have been out on the street at the time.  That was what I called the dirty 90's, at least the first half.  I'd thought about that house, looking at it as I was walking home on that sunny Monday noon hour with the quart of milk in my hand.... if I'd have somehow stayed there, it could never have worked.  No matter if I was rich or whatever (I certainly wasn't - one summer Janice and me lived on grilled cheese), with Mom being in a care home, we would take her out sometimes here and there.  Taking her back to Emmerson would have been inevitable.  How would she possibly have handled that.  It would have been unnecessary torture and heartbreaking to remove her from that house again.  If she couldn't have that house, none of us should have, regardless of our family history.  It's a house... not a home, if Mom wasn't there.  *  So, back home I go, and get started on the meatloaf.  This is the best meatloaf recipe I've ever come across, and it's a big treat for us whenever I make it.  I'll post the recipe in this journal for anyone who wants to try it.  This feeds us for two days at least.  Carrots and turnips were cut up and chopped and waiting in a bowl of cold water in the fridge, and I washed some potatoes for baking when I put the meatloaf in with them.  I made sure I did the dishes along the way, so the place was virtually spotless when I was done all the prep work.  The energy drink actually had me bouncing off the walls!  I got the spike that I needed - it was time now to go pick up the car, about a 5-10 minute walk to Precision Wheel Service from our house, where we get all of our work done for the car for the last 15 years.  The oil pan was replaced with an oil change, a sway bar was replaced (under warranty, thank God), the cabin air filter was changed, and it all came to just north of $300.  Also one of the ball joints is on the way out, and another sway bar will need replacing in the months ahead.  Thank God there's warranties on those sway bars (I don't even know what that is).  They've been replaced so many times.  *  With the car in fine running order, I headed to Costco gas bar to fuel up, then went hunting for Sudafed, which I was down to my last 2 caplets of.  Found some at Sobeys on Elmwood Drive.  Then it was off to MacArthur's Nurseries to get roses for my lovely wife for Valentines Day.  Wrapped in paper, I drew a little monkey on them with a heart, and Happy Valentines Day! on it, and left them in the car, where she would discover them after work as I left it for her to come home.  Tonight the plan was to have our meal and go back to the theatres on Trinity Drive to see Avatar 2 again.  *  Janice came home to me after work with her flowers, and I'd already had supper cooking.  I offered to Janice to make supper for her Mom next door, too, and I made extra with that in mind, so Martha, Janice's Mom, also had a plate.  It turned out quite great, really, with lots of meatloaf left over, and I made extra baked potatoes to panfry them the next day to go with them.  The best meals are the ones that you can make to feed you for two days.  This is the meatloaf recipe:
2 eggs, 2/3 cup milk, 2 tsp salt, 3 slices fresh bread, 1 onion (this time out, I actually used a bushel of green onions and found them more flavorful), 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese, 1/2 cup shredded carrot, 2 lbs ground beef - mix all these up, tearing apart the bread slices into small bits, of course.  I put my hands right in it and mix it real good.  Once you get it all mixed up, put it in a loaf pan and press it in real good.  Then drizzle the glaze over it:  mix 1/4 cup ketchup, 1/4 cup sugar, 1 tsp mustard.  Pop it in a preheated oven at 350 F for about an hour... though I keep it in for closer to an hour plus 10 to ensure it's cooked good.  This recipe is not mine, I should say.  My friend Pete's sister Janet had this recipe posted in a cookbook I got at the hospital canteen.  Janet sadly passed away many years ago.  She used to let my old YQM band rehearse in her garage, even going to the gig we had at U de M and cheering us on.  God bless her soul.  
*  Anyway, man, were we full!  I was especially full.  Bloated, even.  Something wasn't quite right.  The time for the 7 pm showing of the movie was fast approaching, and we got ready to go.  Janice pondered bringing some kind of snacks for the show, but for me, I just couldn't do it.  She opted not to as well.  We got to the theatre, and the multiplex on Trinity Drive is a ghostly shell of what it once was.  There were maybe a dozen cars for all eight theatres.  Since the old Costco building down the road was left vacant, this whole shopping section of Trinity has been slowly dying.  The multiplex is one of the big victims of Costco's uprooting, as well as several other big tenants along the strip.  *  We settled into the theatre to watch the show, with maybe ten other people in the place.  The screen is probably the biggest one in the multiplex, so it was weird the place was so barren of moviegoers; though given the movie's been out over two months and it's a Monday, it shouldn't be too surprising, especially given that the multiplex in Dieppe, far newer and way more comfortable, is the preferred destination for film watchers.  The movie this time wasn't littered with ridiculous amounts of previews and commercials leading in, which was the big problem when we saw the movie the first time in Dieppe.  I mean, Avatar 2 is over three hours long, isn't that long enough??  *  Throughout the movie, I shifted and adjusted in my seat trying to find some level of comfort.  The seats don't recline at all like Dieppe's, and are rather stiff and upright.  My lower back was trying me for most of the next three hours.  But, upon watching this with Janice the second time, we enjoyed it far more immensely than we did the first time we saw it in Dieppe.  When we headed to the car after it was over, we talked about how eye-opening it seemed compared to the first time, even asking ourselves, "were we even mentally present the first time we saw it??"  The story just seemed to burst right off the screen this time out.  We understood it so much more, and actually felt so many of the scenes far more than we did the initial time.  This film is indeed a masterpiece, and deserves all the accolades it gets.  *  Back home into the chilly night we go.  We get in the house and I race to the bathroom to let the river flow - a three hour plus movie will do that to your bladder.  Janice followed.  We had the house all ready to just turn the lights out and head to the Promised Land the moment we got home, and that's what we did.  Our boy Marbles got his kitty chocolate treat, and it was time to get horizontal.  I was particularly exhausted, having only slept three hours or so in the last 24.  I was experiencing bloating and discomfort throughout the movie, though, and it persisted up to this point.  I just thought I ate too much.  It improved by the time we were ready to retire, but not completely.  *  We were both pretty tired.  We watched Rachel Maddow on the telly - a somewhat stressful affair, because she pointed out how authoritarian rule is spreading in the world, and how it looks poised to surge in the U.S. if they're not careful.  Plus there was a live shooting situation going on in Michigan during her broadcast.  Also, those damn balloons or whatever they are that keep getting shot down is all over the news, with nobody having any real answers.  Canada is involved in this now, where they're showing up over our country.  Not exactly soothing viewing before sleeping.  *  The lights go out around midnight, and I woke up God knows how many times with discomfort in my lower back and abdomen.  Still feeling bloated and crampy.  I got up several times during the night to relieve myself, which I found odd, because I didn't drink a whole lot of fluids.  Around 3 am, I decide to take oil, because I just couldn't seem to relax enough to settle down to sleep.  I did eventually... but still got up to go to the bathroom more.  It all seems to settle down eventually, and I slept, though I woke up shortly before nine this morning, still kind of out of sorts.  I try to sleep some more.  Not happening.  So at this point, I'm exhausted, needing some good, sound rest, but not getting it.  I decide to look up effects of long-term Covid and see if digestive issues are a thing with this, because I just haven't felt right since recovering from it just days ago.  Indeed, "long Covid" has something correlating to digestive issues with many patients - it's quite common.  Thus, it appears that this is what I'm dealing with now.  Inflammation in the organs is a thing, apparently, hence the bloating and back pain.  Just what the hell is it with winter and illness!  Every winter there's some kind of bullshit malady that I have to deal with that I can't shake.  One year it was a ton of kidney stones.  Others, it was stomach viruses.  Last year, it was problems with my anxiety meds.  This year, it's Covid that just won't seem to pack up and get the hell out.  I hate winter.  This is why.  *  Now I'm laying here on this Tuesday morning, about to be noon, perhaps about to try once again to catch up on sleep somehow.  Yesterday was my effort to reset my clock, so to speak.  So much for that!  The blessing here is, I don't have to work.  Thank God.  And I have Marbles constantly at my side.  Or on my lap, as is the case right now.  That picture above is how Janice says she often finds us when she comes home from work - she says it's something she loves seeing.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been - let's see what this day brings.

February 14, Tuesday

Well, this is going to be a short one.  I didn't get to sleep right after I signed off last time, of course.  But I passed out eventually, I'm just not sure when.  Janice got home from work, saw I was sleeping, and joined me, and I slept a fair length, maybe five hours, so that much is good.  I woke up and there Janice was beside me on her phone, just browsing around.  It's a good thing we did the Valentine's thing yesterday instead of today.  *  I felt better; not necessarily 100%, but the rest did me good.  Supper was a waffle and a few ginger snaps.  Janice basically the same.  We watched Chris Hayes on MSNBC - this guy's really good - and flipped channels around a bit.  Caught Sarah Silverman on 'The Daily Show', she did a pretty decent job.  I took some oil and attempted, and got, sleep.  For about five more hours, which is great.  I'm typing this at 10:09 am Wednesday, and I think I'm good to stay awake for the day.  *  So that's the kind of day it's been.

February 15, Wednesday

And here I am on Thursday at 1:19 pm recapping Wednesday.  Which means, yuppers, that sleep was basically a no-go last night, save for about a cumulative 3 1/2 hours scattered here and there.  *  I did stay awake after that last journal entry, in an effort to once again adjust my sleep schedule.  I was basically successful, at least at staying awake.  Janice got home from work, and we pretty promptly got dressed to hit the gym, figuring it would be nice to get it done sooner and have the evening to ourselves.  I'm conflicted over whether or not that was a good idea.  We went and arrived somewhere between 4 and 4:30, thinking we'll beat the rush of the post-work crowd, but nope... the place was crawling.  The PF app has a "crowd meter" that tells you how busy the gym is before you go - well, it couldn't have been more wrong.  The cardio machines were probably 2/3 full and the weights area was packed, even the stretching room was loaded.  We weren't impressed, but namely me, who everyone knows, I'm an introvert.  We had to do a mile of cardio, see if we can get on some equipment, then back for another mile, go back and find equipment again, repeat repeat repeat.  I friggin' HATE it when it's like this.  Guys coming to your machine and taking your equipment, some 300 pounder coming around telling me to adjust my technique (never mind the giant "No Critics!" signs all over the walls), and really just bumping into people at every turn.  We may or may not try again Thursday to go early, or earlier, but I can't see doing this too many times in the future.  Anyway, we did get machine Charms Day done, though I don't feel we were able to put too much into it like we usually do.  I was quite uncomfortable the whole time.  I need to be careful because my anxiety triggers can kick up in situations like this.  *  We drove home in the mild air, where the day was quite sunny as well, and did our showers, Marvellous Marbles follows us around, and into the kitchen I go to do supper.  Today on the menu was meatloaf once again - and it will be again on Thursday, NO complaints because it's that good - and I'd made extra baked potatoes last time so that I could pan-fry them to go with the re-heated meatloaf.  I seasoned them with garlic and onion powder, salt and pepper, parsley and a splash of Frank's Red Hot, and they came out quite great.  We both noted how we each felt much better after eating this time compared to last time when we went to the movie after; the one difference being the carrots and turnips we had last time.  My suspicion being that perhaps it was dairy overload, where there's both milk and cheese in the meatloaf recipe, as well as butter in the vegetables.  Maybe too much butter.  Because the meatloaf didn't upset us at all this time, but Monday I think the cup just runneth over.  Also... I'd noted how my back hurt that night and was suspicious of kidney issues post-covid, which I still am wary of; but then I remembered I did extensive lower back work on our last machine Shack Day at the gym.  So there's that, too.  Still, Monday night I was pissing like a leaky water balloon all night.  Things seem better now, but, I still have this lingering, fluctuating feeling of malaise, as does Janice.  The more I read about Covid, the more I see that once you're past the initial infection, it doesn't mean you're out of the woods.  There's these lingering, challenging after-effects that seem to just drone on.  I know we're not alone in that.  And given this is a journal and not really a 'blog' - there's a difference - I'm making an effort to keep notes of day to day health, lest anyone reading thinking I'm bellyaching.  No pun intended.  *  To the Promised Land we go after supper.  We started watching AEW Dynamite, but after a half hour, I wasn't too impressed with this week's show, for the first time in many months.  So, we opted for the usual Chris Hayes show, and a couple of Seth Meyers episodes.  Seth Meyers, we watch really for him and not the guests, as many of his guests are often Saturday Night Live people.  But his own opening monologue and his 'A Closer Look' segments are the gems of the show.  But anyway, after that, it was about 10:30 or so, and I was pretty tired, so an attempt at sleep was made.  I think I passed out around 11 pm.  And woke up around 1:30 am, with no luck getting back to sleep.  I should also note I did not take oil, and maybe I should have, given that the busy gym wound me up a little bit.  We saw my nephew Jamie's wife Janice at the gym too, but she was kind of lost in the crowd.  Sleep... a little bit more happened much later on, around 7 am, and I heard Janice leave the house to go to work for 9.  And here I am now.  *  News-wise, we hear that Raquel Welch died at 82.  Ukraine is running into ammunition depletion issues and Putin is missile-bombing more than usual.  And the whole Trump will he or won't he be indicted thing is still carrying on.  Balloon-gate is persisting too.  Locally, Justin Bourque, he who killed three Moncton cops several years ago and is serving a 75 year sentence - 25 years for each death - is wrangling the justice system to get out after only 25 years, because our sick dumbass Supreme Court says it's "unconstitutional" that he should have to serve three concurrent sentences.  Un. Believable.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

February 16, Thursday

Not a bad day at all.  I did wind up staying awake - not really doing a lot, besides watching my news-junkie channels and reading online content.  But Janice came home from work around three on what was a pretty great day out, sunny and plus 10.  I was ready for the gym the moment she got home and instructed her to get ready because we're leaving ASAP, to try to beat the mad rush that happened yesterday.  That's what we did.  *  We arrived at PF ready to do our freeweights Shack workout, and were greeted by brother Rick, finishing up, himself, getting ready to leave.  It's good seeing that he's going to the gym.  He looks pretty damn great for a fella that just turned 65!  He looks more like somebody our age, in early or mid 50s.  We hit the treadmill right away for a mile, both of us with one knee wrapped up, and headed to the freeweights area to start what's become our favorite workout day.  The gym was far, far less busy than it was Wednesday, thankfully.  We had no trouble acquiring a bench to do our stuff - really, we only need it for two exercises in our nine-exercise workout, anyway, but it was nice having the space.  Wow, what a workout this was today.  We both love it so much because we really feel it after we're done.  We stretched for a bit, I did a once around the gym farmer's walk, and we were both on the treadmill after that for a good forty minutes.  I actually made the mistake of letting Janice go too long on the treadmill, because by the end of the forty minutes, she was limping quite badly, but she won't stop unless you stop her yourself.  And I should have.  Her knee was a wreck for the rest of the day, as she was barely able to get around.  *  After 2 1/2 hours at PF, we dropped into Dollarama, which just happened to be next door, and picked up some rice and a notebook for the gym, to keep track of what weights we use and reps and stuff.  Then we headed home for supper.  We took our showers and got ready for the evening; first, it was time to make, you guessed it... more ginger snaps.  I mixed all the stuff for it, made the two logs and, as per instructions from my lovely sis Cindy, placed them in the fridge for a couple of hours.  In the meantime, I made supper, consisting very simply of herbed rice, corn and the rest of the meatloaf from earlier in the week.  The meatloaf is STILL great at this point.  We just slice it and reheat it, one slice at a time, for a little over two minutes in the microwave.  We enjoyed it immensely.  *  Then it was time to watch some TV while the cookie dough chilled.  We watched last night's Seth Meyers, with a pretty great 'A Closer Look', followed by a little MSNBC stuff; then it was time for the season premiere of 'Star Trek: Picard', which is looking very promising, bringing back the TNG cast for the season to give them a proper sendoff that they were never afforded in theatres.  The visuals have advanced a long, long way from the days TNG first aired.  *  Up to the Promised Land we go, to watch the news and whatever else, and I make another attempt at sleeping during the night.  I kept myself awake and tired, once again, in an effort to reset my inner clock.  And it worked, tonight.  I got up at the same time as Janice Friday morning, sleeping maybe a decent 5 or 6 hours, and we're awaiting the storm that's supposed to be hitting us in the form of several forms of precip.  I took 'before' pictures, and will take 'after' ones for comparison.  *  News-wise, Biden had to hold a press conference to basically tell people that, no, aliens aren't invading us with balloons, the ones after the first one from China was shot down were likely private ones and not a threat in any way, thus feeding into the QAnon conspiracy theories that we're all gonna die now from viruses that were in the balloons.  I'd say you can't make this stuff up, but actually you very easily can.  I actually predicted it to Janice that this is exactly how it would play out.  Also, Fox News is furiously backpedalling after it's been found out, factually, that they knew their election denying ways were bullshit even as they proclaimed their denials in real time.  Bruce Willis has been found to have dementia.  Very, very sad.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

February 17, Friday

Today I was up once again around 9 am, so I'm on a bit of a roll here with having normal days, schedule-wise.  For the most part I slept through the night.  *  The day outside was a bit dicier.  There was snow, freezing rain and ice pellets, none of which really amounted to anything, but made it slippery enough to use extra caution outside.  *  Before the storm:
After the storm:

So really, not that bad at all.  *  As far as it goes for me, it was a morning of probably too much introspection.  Sometimes I run into days like this.  I was festering a bit in guilt for letting Janice go too long at the gym on Thursday, I think.  A little later last night when we were hugging in the kitchen, she playfully locked my arms in this taekwondo self-defense thing that hyper-extended my triceps that really hurt and said she could headbutt me.  For just a moment, I thought she was genuinely upset with me.  It was harmless - well, mostly - and we were just clowning around.  But fast forward to Friday morning and I overthink things, and wonder, is there something in that?  Is she actually resentful just a little toward me?  (She's not.)  One time when we were talking about some men who abuse women, and I said if I ever did anything to hurt her, she had every right to do what it took to take care of herself.  But she went on and on about how she'd do that.  So I kind of flashed-back to that, except I didn't hurt her, but let her get hurt at the gym.  This is a perfect recipe for one of my anxiety attacks and self-harming episodes.  But I held it off, just having crying spells while I was by myself.  I did try to sleep it off, but couldn't, which is good in a way.  I watched this channel with retro 80s music videos during the afternoon, bringing nostalgia into the mix, which actually didn't help much.  When I think of the past, I usually think too much about everything I did wrong.  Anyway, Janice got home and things were fine, for a few minutes, until we both thought taking a nap would be a good refresher, then I started crying again, trying to do so quietly.  Not much of a nap came out of it all.  Basically I went into shutdown mode, which is what I often do when I can't gather my wits about me in these kinds of times.  For her part, Janice was puzzled as to why I was behaving the way I was.  The only time she'll get the whole picture is when she reads this herself when I post it.  Nothing was her fault.  It's just my own self being incapable of managing my emotions because of my medical history.  I'm reading lately how senator John Fetterman admitted himself into care for depression issues, everyone saying how brave he is for tackling it head-on.  Which he is.  I've been attempting to get care since '96, and did, from my physician.  But seeing a psychiatrist is a whole other deal.  When I finally did get to see one 15 years later, he bailed on me.  So, it's basically been DIY as far as looking after my mental health issues goes.  Ultimately here, in the end, is I didn't suffer any kind of anxiety attack or self-harm episode.  The last time I did was August 2 of last year, and I want to maintain some kind of progress.  If I'd been working, still, I don't know how I would be faring.  My guess is not good.  At least I can say there's that.  *  Moving on... we opted for one of those frozen pizzas for supper.  We were aiming to have hot dogs, but needed the buns for them, and neither of us were crazy about going out with the way the weather was.  But that pizza was quite good.  We added bacon crumble and a little extra mozza to it.  We watched 'Real Time' while we ate, not too bad of an instalment this week.  We hit the stairs to the Promised Land and watched a little MSNBC, before realizing every new host was talking about the same thing - the implosion going on over at Fox News these days.  I actually like seeing Fox News finally getting their come-uppance, but just not over and over and over with the same info.  *  As far as news went, the Trudeau gov't was found to be generally not guilty of over-imposing on the protesters for their occupation in Ottawa and Alberta.  Not only that, though, the Russians covertly had their hands in this mess.  Which explains quite a lot, given that they also meddle in democracy issues in the States.  *  And that's the kind of day it's been.

February 18, Saturday

It was a bright, sunny, mild day outdoors which we did experience a little bit of.  We were awake around mid-morning and pretty much took it easy, namely Janice, whose knee is not in good shape at all.  She says that keeping it upright and elevated helps, but as soon as she gets up to walk, there's problems.  This isn't good.  *  Today we got in the car - after de-freezing the thing that seemed to be encased in carbonite like Han Solo from yesterday's freezing rain - with the intent to go out and maybe take some pictures.  I've been wanting to snap some photos of how Moncton is present day, knowing how much things change in ten years.  I had a facebook group on a past account that began this, but I ditched that account quite a while ago, so now maybe I'll do that again.  But there were other things to do, too.  Job #1 was to get Janice a cane, which she needs to get around with some measure of safety.  That's how bad her knee is.  First, I stopped in to Hardy's Produce on Mountain Road and picked up a bunch of vegetables, which we've kind of been lacking lately.  Then it was back to the Shoppers that she works at to see if she could pick up a cane, which they didn't have any of, so we dropped into her post office there where Alexandra was working to see how things were going.  I don't get to see her near enough.  And she, herself, is using crutches because of a sprained ankle after she went down herself.  Janice believes there may be a break involved there, so she likely needs to be seen too.  This poses an interesting situation for that store's post office, which only has my wife and daughter, plus one other to work a four hour shift, to keep it running.  If they both go down, so does the whole post office.  This is a scenario we all thought would happen one day, and here we are, knocking on the door of just that situation, so it'll be interesting to see how it all pans out.  *  We left there, and went to a Shoppers on Killam Drive that actually specializes in health care equipment such as canes and crutches and the like.  Janice picked up a cane which she paid for with Optimum points, mostly, and we left to go for a little spin around town.  *  I was going to take pictures like I said, with my Canon Rebel, but with the day getting late plus noticing how dirty things looked because of the snow and all, I opted to put this mission off until the summer.  But in the meantime, I did want to snap some pictures of the city from Magnetic Hill in the winter with this fresh coat of snow on it, so I did that, and I'll probably start that group again and put those up on it to get it going.  *  From there, we talked about how we probably should get ourselves some of those Belgian waffles we like, so off to Costco we went.  And, as per usual, got a lot more than waffles.  We also picked up some baby kale salad to go with our hot dogs later on, plus eggs, toilet paper, these Pad Thai dinner thingies, frozen haddock, and maybe one or two other things.  *  Shopping wasn't done.  Off to Sobeys we went to get some tartar sauce for that haddock, plus New England style hot dog buns - the only hot dog buns worth having a hot dog with - and four king cans of Heineken, where we didn't want to buy a 12 or anything because Ash Wednesday is coming up, heralding the beginning of Lent, when we will drop all alcohol beverages.  Then it was back home.  I think this whole jaunt around town was a bit tiring for Janice with her knee.  *  I unloaded our booty into the house, and it was time to prepare supper - steamed hot dogs and that kale salad I'd mentioned.  I got our bluetooth speaker into the kitchen, Janice got a chair and sat with me while I put it all together as we listened to our playlist.  The TV stayed off today, for the most part, until we ate and I cleaned up and we headed up to the Promised Land.  Janice requested we watch some more 'Battlestar', so we did.  Five episodes of season 2.  That brought us to the end of the evening, where we are right now, as I watch Janice limp to the bathroom.  She works tomorrow noon to 4, after which we will decide whether to bring her to outpatients.  I wanted to bring her tonight, but she didn't want to be stuck in the waiting room for five to eight hours on Saturday night, when she could do it tomorrow instead with her also having Monday off for the holiday.  Tomorrow I feel like we'll eat after she's done work and do just that.  *  And that's the kind of week it was.  Depending on what happens with Janice's knee, it could be very interesting.



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