Sometimes, You Can't Make It On Your Own

Everybody knows about the Parkland shooting in Florida where 17 kids were killed recently. 

And everyone also knows about the efforts nationwide in the U.S. to enforce stricter gun control laws to prevent it from happening again. 

It happens every time there's a mass shooting in the States, which is a lot.  But there's something about this event that seems to be resonating a lot louder.  Kids are tired of feeling unsafe in their schools, and they're even more tired of people in authority not doing anything at all, whatsoever (besides bogus lip service), to forward their cause.  Let's face it, it happens with shocking regularity there. Sadly.  And, also, infuriatingly.

There are people to blame when things like this happen.  Victims and their families largely point fingers at lax gun control laws, and a lack of funding for mental health care for people in distress who culminate their free time on earth by easily purchasing an automatic or semi-automatic weapon at a gun show or Wal Mart with appalling ease to carry out their deranged plans.  The NRA and GOP both blame mental health issues and not a hell of a lot else.

I have a friend in the U.S. that I've known for a long time now who's a big proponent of the 2nd Amendment, which grants the people the right to bear arms.  Once upon a time, I was staunchly against gun ownership, outside of hunting rifles, as guns are built for one purpose, and one purpose only:  To kill human beings.  This is true.  They're not built for collectors, gamesmanship, or shooting bottles off of fence posts.  They're made to end someone's life.  Detractors will say it's for self defense. 

My friend explained to me that they live in a rural area where the police would have to take some time to get to them if there was some kind of incident where their property was being invaded, thus, they should have the right to protect themselves.  This makes sense.  If someone's breaking into your house and the police are ten miles out, it's probably far too late for their assistance.  Protecting yourself in circumstances such as this is quite warranted, provided said gun owner is responsible with their firearms.  My mind was actually changed when we discussed this.  It's hard to argue against ownership of a handgun when you're faced with such a dire prospect, even if the chances of it happening are quite remote.  So with utmost care and caution, I do agree with this person's stance.

I do not agree, however, that anyone outside of law enforcement or the military should be able to possess a weapon that can inflict mass casualties in a matter of seconds.  That's just ridiculous.  When it was revealed that the 18 year old shooter of the Parkland massacre had an abundance of them, it left the vast majority of us shaking our heads.  How could a teenager amass such an arsenal of military grade weaponry and not be noticed? 

But that's neither here nor there in the context of this blog.  The fact of the matter is, this individual (who I won't name for various reasons, fame being the biggest) was a sick man.  Barely a man, at that, by any definition.  He was a monster, a deranged villain of the people with a premeditated plan to carry out an attack that would inflict the most carnage possible.  Only monsters can do such a thing.  A sicko with a perverse agenda.

Upon stating that, I either elicited overwhelming agreement from the reader, with furious feelings that would make one call for the death penalty; or, if you're someone like me, you're asking a hell of a lot more questions.  A hell of a lot.

A child is born equal to everyone in God's eyes.  The moment that child is taken care of will help shape his or her destiny in the years to come.  In the post World War II era, people came back from overseas and got the help they needed to set their lives on a normal track.  Manufacturing, steelworking, textiles, you name it.  There was a need for it, and those needs were met.  Good money was made to help raise families and for everyone to prosper.  It's not a perfect world; obviously some will fall through the cracks, but the picture was a lot rosier then when it came to getting a decent paying job and raising a family.

Then Nixon showed up.  The republican party swapped platforms with the democrats.  Kennedy was assassinated.  Vietnam happened and spurred rebellion, which prompted kids then to stage a relentless peace movement across the country (sound familiar at all?).  Things settled down a little in the 70's, until Reagan turned up in the 80's.  Goodbye to unions and manufacturing and the good paying jobs that came with it; hello to trickle-down economics that turned out to be a farce and left millions upon millions poor and broken and homeless.  The 90's saw more war in the Persian Gulf for what was apparently nothing to do with Americans.  U.S. forces returned home with Gulf War Syndrome, PTSD, blown-off limbs and various diseases and largely no support to help them recover, thanks to governments that would not allow spending to happen to make it so.  Democrats would apply bills to the GOP dominated congress for assistance for veterans, only to not get passed, because after all, in the eyes of republicans, more military spending is far more warranted.  Don't forget the massive billions spent on the ridiculous nuclear arms race in the 80's, again pushed by the GOP.  The debt did indeed recover under eight years of Clinton, but once people got wind of a stain on a blue dress, impeachment enters (and fails) and republicans once again ruled the roost in the new century.  The twin towers are annihilated.  Welcome back, middle east war (with the wrong country, no less) and thousands more are killed, maimed, and sent home in the name of profits for weapons engineers like Halliburton, connected at the hip to the vice president.  Only this time, there's even less help and less political will to endorse help for wounded vets.

As is always the case, the democrats under Obama come in to clean up the massive mess.  And, as always again, congress is dominated in the second term by the GOP and stonewalls any democratic attempts to bring assistance to sick and wounded veterans.  But, the deficit again was largely cleaned up, left by the Bush administration, and hope was beginning to set in again.

Enter Trump.  I don't need to go into anything after those two words.

Today, poverty and strife is rampant across the U.S. and is getting worse.  The rich are getting richer and the poor getting poorer.  The unemployment numbers and economy are great, though, showing a massive turnaround from the previous decade... but that began under the previous administration, which inherited the worst deficit and recession from the Bush-9/11 era. 

In Trump's America, racism, xenophobia and hatred are king.  It's inevitable with such discord that anger would descend upon American civilians in such a volatile environment.  With the air of such hopelessness flooding the land, it's bound to permeate itself into hostility and anger that, with the readiness and availability of something like guns and ammo present, can only culminate and continue with more desperation and aggression, in this case, in the form of violence against one another.  What a sad and hopeless state of affairs.

In this day and age where bullying is frowned upon and its perpetrators punished, and such measures are clearly not working, a harder, more detailed look at the picture is warranted.  Punishing the bullies is one thing.  It's easy to take a bully, tell him or her that their actions are wrong, and marginalize them for what they've done.  That's one way to deal with it.  But it's not really working, is it?  Maybe it's time to take that skipping record and flip it over and see what's on the other side. 

So once again, a child is born equal to everyone in God's eyes.  Then, it's up to us how we mold that child.  It's the luck of the draw in a world where not every family has an equal shot at doing a good job at raising a family.  In the case of the Parkland murderer, the odds were stacked against him very early in his life.  He wound up not being raised by his parents at all, but shuffled off from one foster home to another.  If children need anything in their lives, it's stability.  And without it, depending on the environment surrounding them, lack of that stability can wreak some very tragic consequences.  None more extreme than what happened in Parkland.  Now there are calls for this kid's head to roll. 

Upon further public investigation, we learn that the shooter had a history of mental illness and a very, very difficult upbringing.  I say "upbringing" very loosely.  More like slowly lowered into the fire.  I'm not sticking up for the kid.  Rather, I'm trying to look closer at the dots in the picture, which too many aren't doing.  I'm asking only one question about this entire affair:  What made this man, who is, again, barely a man at 18 years old, become the notorious murderer that he's become? 

Victims and their families are entitled to be furious at the event that took place in Parkland.  Even locally, the people have the right to have their emotions upended in the face of such shocking, ugly tragedy.  If your child was murdered in school by a sick (literally) individual with a gun that should never have been available in the first place, you'd likely wish for the same fate for the gunman.  I probably would!  Thus, the death penalty is being sought by prosecutors for this heinous event.

But we as a civilized society need to find the strength to look deeper into the abyss that is the mind of a killer.  We need to know what made him tick.  What led him to do the terrible things he's done.  Would he have done this had he been born into a family with more stability?  If other kids hadn't made his life the hell that he supposedly lived?  Would he have done it if he wasn't able to so easily acquire a weapon like an AR-15?  I sincerely doubt it.  So do you, deep down, even if you disagree on the surface.

Moreover, he was afflicted with mental illness that he wasn't born into, but developed under the circumstances that his life dropped on him.  He was a mentally ill person for a long time who needed help.  The signs were already there that he could be a problem.  Even the FBI tremendously dropped the ball on stopping this outcome in its tracks.  It has ignorance written all over it; it'll go away if we just don't pay attention to it.

The big reveal here is, to those who don't know me, that I'm a sufferer of mental illness myself.  My upbringing was rough.  I was bullied, had an alcoholic father, was brought up poor, suffered numerous serious injuries both accidental and self-inflicted, did poorly in school because of it all, and may well have turned out quite differently if not for the iron wall of support that was my mother.  I still suffer today and deal with it on a daily basis.  In fact, as I write this now, I'm on leave from work due to my illness.  The differences between the shooter and myself is, there was help readily available, though our mental health processes here in Canada need some serious tweaking; but I got it - and it may have made a massive difference that guns aren't readily available like they are down south, or I may have done myself in very long ago. 

Most people who know me will tell you that I'm a pretty nice guy, that I'd do anything to help, not to toot my own horn.  But that's how my mother raised me, and my siblings set the same example.  I was fortunate to have a support system that the mass killer apparently didn't. 

So to hear the NRA trumpet in the media along with Trump and his cronies that the Parkland killer is a 'monster', 'crazy', a 'maniac', and a 'mentally deranged sicko', make my blood boil.  They are essentially telling all of us dealing with mental illness are crazy sickos, ready to shoot up the town if we can get a gun.  This is the most intolerant that people in authority could possibly sound in the face of such a crisis. 

We with mental illness are definitely ill, and need treatment, and maybe medicine.  Some of us need supervision.  But to say that I am mentally ill, with the connotation that I chose to be that way, is absurd beyond levels I can't describe.  And watching Trump and the NRA spew their hatred toward people like us, and re-marginalize us after much progress has been made, is both heartbreaking and infuriating.  True to most GOP standards, it turns the clock back on any progress that has been made in recent years, and incites more hatred, fear, aggression and ignorance toward us.

I guess the reason I took to writing this is, to anyone that it may reach, that if you do not suffer from mental illness -- you need to seriously consider matters far more deeply than just what you see on the surface before you pass judgment.  Please.  Those of us with mental illness issues did not ask for our condition, and don't want it.

To those of you that do suffer, you need to know that there are others out there that are looking for you, and looking to help you.  You need to talk to people.  Get help from a professional, because as a famous band once said, sometimes you can't make it on your own.  But get help, do whatever it takes to get it.

Because you matter, and you WILL make it.

Term In Nation

Tax time is here.

We're lucky enough to get a fair return when this time of year comes around, because we actually ask for more income tax to be taken off our checks than is necessary, so we get it back in accumulated amounts when it comes time to file.  Along with fixing up things that need to be done with the house, we allow ourselves little treats for ourselves, too, that we wouldn't normally be able to afford.  For me this year, it'll be a nice ride cymbal and tambourine with a multi-clamp for my drum kit.

I get to thinking sometimes of the old days, really old days, when my brother Greg got me my first drum set for my 13th birthday.  I remember I was clueless how to play it.  It was just an upside down snare with the snare wires over the top of the batter head, a small bass drum, and hi hats with a stand.  But it did the trick.  These were the only tools I needed to start my journey to becoming a drummer.  I met this friend, we'll call him "Ed", in school, and we were mutual KISS fans.  He was a guitar player who was self-taught himself, and I taught myself how to play my drums.  Ed and myself evolved into being able to play fairly well throughout our teen years.

But Ed was a troubled guy.  Like me, his dad died in his early years, and I think he had a lot of trouble dealing, like I did.  But he took to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain.  Through it all, his personality kind of changed.  He was the same likeable guy, but he tended to tell you things you wanted to hear to get your approval, only to leave you disappointed when time went on.  It was kind of part of his charisma, which he had a lot of.  People would believe what he said even when they were faced with the truth.  He wasn't always untruthful, but too often not.  My guess is that he desperately wanted the approval from people that he never got from his father.  We all come from somewhere, right?

We veered off separate ways in our late teens, when we got girlfriends.  That took me a lot longer, though.  I didn't have the confidence he did when it came to girls.  I remember, though, he had a girlfriend he was with for a little while, and she had friends that would tag along with them sometimes.  Ed would tell me that her friends 'liked' me and that we were actually out on dates, when really we weren't.  I had such a hard time finding girls to date that I would just believe it.  It was almost never true.  He'd tell me they said nice things about me that they never said.  Again, to gain favor.  Man, that kind of wrecked me back in those days.  Putting it short, really, Ed was a chronic liar that would say whatever it took to gain favor and leverage.

I didn't want to be around him anymore because of his excessive pot and alcohol use.  When he told me he was done with it and wanted to jam again a few years ago, we played a few times, and then it became evident he was just the same old Ed.  His old habits came back along with his old behaviors.  I was saddened by a couple of things:  That he hadn't come around from his old vices, and that I allowed myself to be taken in yet again by it all.  Ed's a smooth talker who had a knack for getting his way, only to do something entirely different when you weren't around him.

These days I just play my drums by myself, because it appears my friends have either grown out of their hobby or they just don't want to jam anymore, at least with me or whatever.  But the way I see it, once a drummer, always a drummer.  If opportunity comes knocking to make some noise with somebody, I'm there to take it.

Lady Gaga was on the Superbowl halftime show this year.  I'm really not a fan, I don't like her stuff, for me.  Just not my style.  But I had to respect the performance.  She pulled out all the stops to entertain everyone and did an exceptional job.  If she was lip syncing, it wasn't noticeable.  For the most part it looked pretty legit.  But... I long for music with real musicians and less machines and programming, and less overproducing.  My thinking is, for every person playing an instrument you take away and replace with a machine, that's one less soul you have in the music.  And music lacks soul these days.  There really isn't any.  And you can hit all the notes in your singing you want, it doesn't mean you should.  I'm looking at you, Mariah Carey, Ariana Grande, and pretty much every "pop princess" on the top 40 these days.

One thing Gaga didn't do, allegedly because she was told not to, was wax political onstage during the halftime show.  You just know she was itching to.  You had to think that the Trump Reich Trump Administration was watching, with the Donald having his tiny thumbs at the ready on his Twitter account if she made one false move.

And speaking of his Twitter account, it's a marvelous way to trip the wires of the man's temper, isn't it?  Like a teenager with her iPhone frustrated standing in line at a fast food restaurant because she isn't getting served sooner, he explodes when something just isn't going his way.  Just look at any tweets regarding the Obamas, the "so-called judge", Muslims in general, or anyone who disagrees with him at all.  But... if he meets face to face with any of these people, it's all peaches and cream, isn't it?  He shakes hands, praises them and tells you how much he admires them.  Then when it comes time to write executive orders, that's all out the window, and his true nature makes itself clear.  Just like that 'Ed' fellow I told you about.  He'll tell you everything you want to hear to get what he wants, and once he gets it, so what.  Trump did that all through is election.  He came off as a populist, promising to give people everything they wanted.  That is, until he got what he wanted, which was the people's vote.

In that regard, I sympathize with Trump voters.  We all know what it's like to be taken in by a charismatic con artist, and to feel the regret when we realize we'd been taken in.  It's frustrating.  Who likes a pathological promise-breaker?  Liberals, or democrats, tend to think they're higher thinkers than republicans or conservatives are, and look down on those without like-minded thinking.  But the reverse is also true.  There has to be common ground in there somewhere, though.  Could there be a simple solution?  I doubt it.  But I did ponder it, and this is my pitch on it.  Not like anyone would take it seriously, but still...

Imagine this... if every four years, there was a presidential election, where there was no such thing as more than one term.  But during that term, it's a Democratic president.  Everyone had to choose from a field of democratic candidates, whether they're registered Republicans or Democrats.  That's right... republicans get a say in who the Democratic president will be.  Congress is elected as usual, but the Democratic president gets the usual powers of veto and all the other dressings that come with it.  There are no squabbles about who the president is, because everyone chose him/her.  The term is over, then a republican nomination is chosen, and everyone decides who the best Republican president will be for the next four years.

This way the president is truly chosen by the people en masse each and every time.  It doesn't solve all the problems, but I'll tell you this... it'd go a long way into ensuring guys like Trump don't get into office again.  Oh, and do away with this delegate nonsense.  If that never existed in the first place, Bernie Sanders would be president right now and all of this upheaval would never have taken place.  In fact, Sanders is a perfect example of someone who appeals to both sides of the voting block.

This same rule would apply nicely to Canada, although our voting system is vastly different from the one in the U.S.  We have a parliamentary system that kind of mucks up the idea.  But the abolishing of the "first past the post" system is a start, something Prime Minister Trudeau promised, but reneged on.  Hence the need for it in the first place.

Regardless, we need some way, whether it's via mandatory one-term leaders or not, to tell certain leaders they have no way of saying "I'll be back".

RT Jan 12 2017

Been a while since I did a Random Thoughts post.  It's a day off today, so why not.

Going to attempt slow cooker meatballs today, and baby smashed garlic potatoes.  Gotta do something new, and start putting that slow cooker to more use.  Updates on facebook how it turns out.

Could it be time to change jobs?

Today is the day I double the dose of Cipralex after a lengthy washout period from Trintellix, which was/is incredibly rough.  Still not out of the woods.  Might be in March or so.

I understand Canada is "hockey country" and all that crap, but I hate being one of the few that's stuck in the pool with all the fanatics splashing the water too much.  Football even more so.  Still waiting for baseball to ramp up.

Poor Ronda Rousey... she would've done better had she listened to everyone else, including her own judo expert mother, and had a better coach/trainer.  I bet Stephanie McMahon is drafting a pretty big deal to get her at the next Wrestlemania, though.  Rousey's a huge WWE fan.

Contemplating plans to see a couple of tours this year, the KISSworld Tour and U2's Joshua Tree anniversary.  Montreal or Toronto among the possibilities, maybe Boston.  I'd always wanted to see a WWE pay per view show in person too.

Still going to the gym, but took some more or less forced time off through most of December, due to the wife's and mine work schedules.  Busiest Christmas I've been involved with in retail (hence questioning 'could it be time to change jobs?', among other reasons).  My schedule does me no favours, with two 5am shifts, three 8-4's, and even two 2-10's every third week.  Those shifts don't co-operate with my mental health issues either, I'm told.  But... still want to train for the Fundy Marathon this summer, a 28 mile run.  If I did that... not bad for a 51 year old, after taking up running only a year and a half ago and going for it.

Janice is training like a pro athlete.  Goes to the gym nearly every day for around two hours.  Weight has slowed falling off her although she's getting smaller, as is evidenced by her clothes sizing.  She will be 50 this year and can kick your ass even if you're a teenager.  Guy or girl.  Warning:  She finds Ronda Rousey inspiring.

I don't talk much about politics these days because, as I've discussed previously, I find it hopeless now, and my daughter's kids, if she has any, may be one of the last five or six generations to survive.  Not even kidding.  BUT... I do find U.S. politics increasingly hilarious.  The Golden Don is making his upcoming presidency the laughing stock of all of the history of planet earth, let alone the U.S.  Comedians everywhere will thrive over the next four years.

Our daughter has a new job working for a clothing store at the mall, and I haven't seen her happier in a long while.  She was screwed at her last job, I'll make no bones about it.  I won't even enter that building anymore.  In hindsight, a lot of people were.  Seems to be the culture of that workplace around here, not limited to just one building.

So far this winter is awfully similar to last winter, as to say, not bad.  Some might argue, but Moncton here hasn't really experienced a bad storm in three years, in my view.  Mind you, three years ago, we did experience our worst winter maybe in my lifetime.

Looking forward to fixing up the outdoor eves of the house this spring, and finally, hopefully, getting some walls replaced inside.  Doors would be nice... but then megabucks enter the picture.  Eventually.

I've wanted a nice, big ride cymbal for my drums for years, but to get a nice one, you have to pay a little.  I've always had them, but never a nice one.  This spring, Mr. K from Zildjian will be in da house.  Or a reasonable double.  Drumming is a solo hobby for me these days since I don't know anyone who plays anymore.

Last summer was so awesome, so good, that I can't wait for this summer to come around.  Janice and me spent a lot of time outside last year, thanks to our taking up running, not to mention getting back on track with the peeps in Caissie Cape.  I had a blast doing photography for the big washer toss tournament and look forward to it again.  We'd love to return to Fenway for a couple of games.  Might visit some fam in Welland too, who knows.  $$ will dictate a lot of that.

Going to be a great year for movies.  New 'Blade Runner', 'Dunkirk', 'Spiderman Homecoming', 'Alien Covenant', 'Mute' (Netflix), 'Star Wars Ep. VIII', and that's just off the top of my head.  Really wish the next 'Avatar' would get here already.  James Cameron will once again revolutionize movie making when he puts it out.  It's taking awhile because he's making three sequels at the same time.  Or four, maybe.  Ah yes, 'Alien 5' next year, a sequel to 'Aliens', skipping over the awful 3 and 4.  Newt and Hicks with Ripley will be back!

'Better Call Saul' is about to hit the TV screens... can't wait.  We get to see Gus Fring again.  I'll have to model my Los Pollos Hermanos kitchen apron on facebook sometime.

About TV... if you haven't seen 'Westworld', please please please, DO IT.  By the time you've finished watching the last episode of the season, you will see why I say it's the smartest, deepest, most stunning show on television.  It rivals 'Breaking Bad'.  Yes, it's that good.

Anybody else think Trump is the antichrist?  Maybe a precursor?  Obama only has a few days left to start World War 3 like all the conservatives have said, not to mention take everybody's guns, so he better get cracking.  Seriously, Obama = best U.S. president maybe ever.  Even Kennedy was rocked by scandals.  Nothing for Barack.  Argue if you want... but you're wrong to.

Who's going to win the Royal Rumble?  Not Lesnar.  Not Goldberg.  Those guys will screw each other over in the Rumble and we'll see one last match between them at Wrestlemania, that's my prediction.  And I'm stickin' to it.  Finn Balor is the dark horse in the Rumble, not even announced, but he's owed a rematch with Owens, so I look for Owens to retain and keep his title until WM where Balor will get a shot at taking it back.  But that won't be the headlining match at WM.  Lesnar vs Goldberg will be.  Maybe.  Perhaps Undertaker will be involved for a 3-way.  I'd LOVE to see Rowdy Ronda get involved somehow in the women's division, but odds are very long on that.  But eventually I'd like her to get a deal similar to Lesnar's.  Then there's The Rock.  How will he figure in all of it?  Seth Rollins vs HHH will happen at Mania, too, I predict.

That's about it.  Fire up the colortinis and watch the pictures as they fly through the air.

Good day.  焕