slip sliding away

Summer's looking like it might be a bit disappointing isn't it?  For the last month, all we've really seen is rain.  As I type this, the skies are threatening it.  Wind, clouds, the whole nine yards.  It's Sunday afternoon right now, and I'm lying in bed with my beautiful wife, my kid's in the shower, and the big plan of the day is to go underwear shopping.  I've lost so much weight that my drawers are slipping off.  I haven't actually tried losing weight, it just happened.  I'm not what you call one of those weight conscious individuals, until I reach 190, then I panic.  I was that much once, back in the '90s.  Currently I'm 172.  Pounds of course.

The state of the Belmont faction of the Cooks is just fine.  Not that anyone would contest that.  Alexandra's nearing the end of her school year, and she'll come through grade 9 without a problem.  Let me tell you, that kid ....  I don't know quite how to describe her.  I may be biased, I know that, but she is one of the smartest kids of that age that I've ever known.  She's very aware.  Maybe she doesn't get the marks in school that would reflect that description completely, but to know her is to realize what I'm saying.  She feels like no other 15 year old feels.  I'm thankful she's inherited her mom's brains and intelligence, and I'm a bit wary that she's inherited her old man's soft heart.  But that also makes her a whole lot more mature than most, no matter the age.  There are times that I know she acts like a 15 year old, when she challenges authority and rebels, but she doesn't do that near as much as your typical teenager.  She's loyal to us, her parents, and I think the fact that we are a tight knit little family is why she's been allowed to grow as a person.  We couldn't be prouder parents.  Soon, Lex will embark on a new job at the store I work at as a student pharmacy assistant, which, who knows?  May lead to bigger things in that field.  I know she will thrive there.  I'm proud of her and I'm anxious to see her continue to grow as a contributing member to society.

My wife ought to be an inspiration to anyone with chronic illness.  Most who meet her could never tell that she has anything wrong with her.  But she continues to defy the odds of how someone affected by psoriatic and rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, underactive thyroid, psoriasis, and numerous digestive issues, should react to life.  She's fought and won all of it.  She has her days.  There are times when she doesn't want to get out of bed or go to work, much less go to the gym, but she finds it in herself to do it, because she knows the benefits outweigh the pain and the suffering.  I challenge anyone to keep up with her gym activity.  Even if she had nothing wrong with her healthwise, she still outperforms most or all women her age and even most of those younger.  She lifts weights with me (heavy weights, not those little one piece dumbells that barely weigh the same as a soup can), tears off like a bat out of hell on elliptical machines and treadmills, and stretches plenty enough so that she can still kick my ass in a wrestling match when she has to!  Brainwise, she keeps her post office busy and constantly accelerates business there with the best service of any P.O. outlet there is.  I challenge anyone to find a better one.  She gives a shit about the service she provides and is actually concerned about her customers' satisfaction; she comes home and tells me often how glad she is that she's made someone happy.  It's what she lives for.  She's a hard-ass when she needs to be, and tempers that with the tenderness of what everyone wants a wife and mother to be.  She's the voice of reason in this household.

So what do I provide, you ask.  Or better yet, what would I say I provide.

I provide a challenge.  I'm a victim of multiple head injuries in my lifetime, most of which occurred at a very young age, which has compromised my ability to reason at times, I believe.  I'm not providing excuses for my errant behaviors.  But I've been known to 'shut down' when times get tough on me sometimes, because I don't know how else to deal with things.  I even went to a psychologist last summer to try to figure myself out.  I have, and I will, fiercely defend my family and my better friends, and do whatever it takes to help them get over anything.  But I have a very bad tendency to never defend myself.  I will endure attacks and criticisms.  I'm a black belt in taekwondo, but if I ever have to use it in self defense, I likely won't if it doesn't involve protecting someone else, although if I'm being honest I'm dying to use it to knock someone's block off who desperately needs it.  There is one particular kick I can utilize that can put someone of any size in the hospital for real.  Or the morgue if I'm not careful.  But if it involves someone I know, I'm likely the one that'll get hurt.  I'm antisocial and actually afraid to mingle if it involves women, and won't get involved in anything that involves macho behavior, which essentially makes me an introvert in a family that loves getting out.  I guess that's why I love the internet as much as I do, as it's my best forum for expression and communication.  I don't have to haul my dick out for a pissing contest. And women can't physically pin me down and command me to tell them what I'm feeling (although the first half of that can actually be fun).  So yes... I'm a challenge.  I don't particularly think I'm a treat to be around, especially without Janice by my side.  I'm a lousy host on my own, oversensitive and have minimal verbal skills which I make up for in, you guessed it, writing.  If you want to get me alone, especially if you're a woman, better lock me in somewhere because I'll run.  And I'm a slippery guy.

You have to be wondering why I even bothered with this blog.  Well, it's been a rough few days for me really, and I guess this is just therapeutic.  I don't take all that well to jokes about my sexuality.  I don't take well to being back-burnered, and I don't want anyone thinking they can change me.  If you ignore me, I will take offense.  I am what I am.  I feel what I feel.  A lot of people are just like me.  Not all of us will admit to the things I just admitted to.  I've got little or no self confidence---though I thought that was on the upswing, it was just a bit of a phase.  Welcome to.... me.

Lastly I'm not a fan of talking about myself a whole lot, so I'm going to go back to the Random Thoughts thing soon enough.  It's more fun and escapist.  :)

Thanks for dropping in and enduring!  Hope you have a rockin' summer.

Random Thoughts #6

A Harper Majority.  I don't like the sound of that phrase and I'm kind of afraid.  Canada is the laughing stock of the UN Council since he's been in power, we're scolded worldwide over our poor environmental record, we have the highest deficit in Canadian history since he came in (don't forget, Canada had an $11 billion surplus left to the Cons by the Liberals, and they blew that LONG before the recession hit), they continuously spend money on smear campaigns on anyone they don't like, including their own (hello, Helena Guergis), they've made it next to impossible for students to get funding for university (as our bestie Jessica), they've decimated just about any support group for women in Canada, they've said they're buying planes for our air force for $18 billion, which I was good with, until that cost went up to the $40-something billion range, without the friggin' engines as it turned out... really, do I need to go on?  They did all that when they had a MINORITY.  Better buckle your seat belts, Canadians.  What kind of country will this be in four years?  Maps of Canada should be drawn with a giant tory-blue screw going through it.

I voted NDP this election, not because I thought they could win, but to merely protest the idea of Harper winning.  And I couldn't vote for Murphy from the Liberals knowing what a slacker he appears to have been representing us in votes in the House of Commons.  Mind you, the Conservative candidate who won appears to be a fine chap, and I believe he will represent us well.  If I could have voted for him without supporting Harper, I would have.

Watching 'Minute to Win It' on OLN right now.  Women in short-shorts + TV = me watching.

Still going to the gym, just not updating our site for tracking our goings-on at it anymore because it's a pain in the hole.  But we've been going.  My wife is a tough cookie let me tell you.  She can put you in a chokehold that'd make you see birds.  With any of her limbs.

I've had to go to a Zumba class at the Y, too.  Not really by choice, but because I'm a man of my word.  I still owe one friggin' more.  At least I provide comic relief when I go.

We made it through Lent without eating red meat, even on Sundays.  But red meat is pretty much all we've eaten since Easter!  I know we have to dial it down a little.  Or a lot.  Red meat's not good for kidney stones, I hear, which I'm apparently prone to.

What I've found out recently on the 11 o'clock news, with Lllllloyd Robertson, is that we should be limiting or eliminating consumption of sodium nitrite, something found in a lot of processed meats especially.  Reason being that it contributes greatly to risk of dementia later in life.  This was a breakthrough I guess, so I'll be reading ingredient lists.  Something else to consider, is that beer is a common place to find it, though it's not required by brewers to list that on the bottles.  Pass the strawberry slush.

Am I veering away from being a leg man to a boob guy?  I don't think so.  Boob guys still need their mommies.  Leg men just want to serve their ladies and treat them right.  And we're more often than not non-confrontational and just nice guys tryin' to get by.

The Dark Knight is the best movie ever made.  The Dark Knight Rises next summer may challenge that title.  If you don't agree with me, deal with it.  You know it's true.

Looking forward to another KISS album this fall.  Another Coldplay album should come soon too, maybe even U2 to boot.  All my favorite bands at once.  I can't get sick of KISS' "Modern Day Delilah", Coldplay's "Clocks" or U2's "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight".  It's a bit sad that there are no new rock bands around that get my attention, but that's how the music biz is these days.

Should be a crazy good time at my Shoppers Drug Mart this weekend with the gala being put on by the cosmetics crew, comprised of a fantastic bunch of ladies.  What a great place to work.  I'm lucky to have a lady named Ruby as my mentor, extremely patient and understanding and willing to help.  And funny as a George Bush blooper reel.

I'm very, very, very proud to announce that my little big girl Alexandra has a spot waiting for her in the pharmacy of my SDM as a student pharmacy assistant.  She talked to the owner there, Pauwlina, about the position and is welcome with open arms.  And Pauwlina is the sweetest young woman you could ever meet.  God bless her.

It sure is nice going out with just a t-shirt isn't it?

I'm itching to learn to play guitar once and for all.  I've got so many song ideas that I've accumulated over the years that I want to flesh out.  More for my own hobby than anything else.  My drum kit is now double bass 9 piece, and it's been a while since I've played double bass, so there's kind of a learning curve.  I have to get back to practicing.

We enjoyed yet another little excursion to the U.S. border last weekend.  Sure is nice to get away from time to time, but we hated leaving our ladypal Jess behind, who was going through lots of pain post-wisdom tooth surgery.  She's having a bit of a tough time with bouncing back, but we got our eyes on her.  So does her lovely mom.

That's about all I have to say this time out.  Thanks for visiting my humble blog and stay tuned, more is sure to follow.

Pink Does More Than You Think

Bullying is a really, really shitty thing.  I've experienced it and dealt with it.  Both in my adult life and my childhood life.  It's not illegal, even though it often leads to physical harm or death.  But then, cigarette smoking isn't illegal either, and what's the good of that?

My daughter is being bullied, and it's time to step in.  She got her first job last August, and bullying there escalated to the point very recently where she had to quit.  I know that feeling.  My last job at Vail's Dry Cleaning involved workplace bullying by management.  I have no problems calling them out by name because if I can warn anyone against working there, that's fine.  In Alexandra's case, a very fine woman is managing that store under circumstances that are hard to work around.  I have utmost respect for her, and don't envy the daunting challenges that face her in managing a spotty less than credible staff.

I will take action very soon though at Lex's school where there is something going on where she took sympathy for the family and friends of a student who committed suicide recently.  She went to his funeral during school time, and some kids ostracized her for it claiming she did it only to avoid school.  I know my kid.  She has a very soft heart, just like me, and I went through something very similar when I went to high school.  But, other kids didn't bully me for having feelings.  Perhaps growing up a girl in this day and age is tougher than it is for boys.  I see that girls are getting cattier and cattier as the years go by.

As for the suicide... I will make no bones about the fact that I resent the attention that is given to the boy's actions.  I can't in good conscience call him a 'victim'.  The victims are those who surrounded him and loved him.  His actions launched depressive behaviour in countless others who loved him, and God only knows the ramifications that will ensue as time moves forward through the years.  I realize the mental suffering people endure when they go through tough times, but for God's sake, I wish kids and especially parents would pay more attention to the things that happen around them and take them more seriously.  No blame can be issued to this young man's parents or anyone else.  But lessons can certainly be learned at foreshadowing future events that may instigate possible similar events.  This will dwell in the minds of the affected for years to come, if not forever.

With the federal election fast hurtling towards us, the unpredictability that often surrounds times like these makes for pretty good entertainment if you're at all engaged in the political process, which I so wish more people were.  Especially young folks.  Thank God for the Rick Mercers of the world who are at the ready to light a fire in the arses of some of the lazier minded young adults who typically think their votes don't matter.  The fact that we are able to vote at all should be enough, especially considering the state of the world we live in right now.  One need look no further than the middle east or African nations to see the rebellion going on, with those fed up with their lack of freedom, including their own rights to choose their own leaders.  If so many are literally willing to die for that freedom to vote, doesn't that make those who refuse to vote here in our own homeland look exceedingly complacent?  With our current minority Conservative government hauling in the reigns of democracy more and more with each passing month, it should be clear to anyone who wants to see that we are becoming exactly what those overseas are fighting against.  To not vote, no matter what your age, is an abuse of freedom and democracy.  In my view, a non-vote is a vote for communism, a scenario in which you have no choice whatsoever.  Those who are apathetic to voting retain my own apathy.  Even if there are no viable choices, at the very least submit a blank ballot of non-confidence, something I nearly did in the last provincial election.  I kind of wish I did now.

My wife has been hitting the gym with a fury in the last several weeks.  I caution anyone who might underestimate her to rethink their view of her.  She goes for up to three hours pretty much daily, around five days a week, and does relentless cardio training that primes her for condition that literally and figuratively kicks my ass.  She weight trains with me too, and has just as much or more power than even the strongest women that go to the gym.  Even including a lot of the guys.  Add to that the fact that she's a second degree taekwondo black belt and you have a machine that will mow you over if you get in her way, with a will and determination that can not be deterred.  We have a couple of friends who've joined us going there lately, one of whom I don't see much because of conflicting work schedules named Krystina, who works for Janice.  The other who's become a great friend of the family, Jessica, one of the sweetest souls you'll ever meet.  She claims we've helped her through some of her tough times, which to me is a very humbling gesture on her part, because she's helped us just by simply sticking around.  She's been a friend to our daughter when she needs friends the most.  Maybe more like a big sister.  Janice has been like a surrogate mom to her in helping her, providing a sounding board for topics in her life that she needed the most.  We're happy we can bring any happiness into her life, but she has certainly reciprocated just by showing growth and smiling more than she ever has since we first met her.

Work for me is going very well these days.  Since I've been hired on at SDM in Riverview, at least since the store actually opened, I can honestly... and I would say shockingly... say that I haven't had a bad day there over the months since I started in October.  I can say about this job that I don't really see me ever leaving, I like it that much.  I thought for a long time that my life's career would be in being on the road, since I like driving so much, but I've come to appreciate the interaction with the awesome people that I work with, all of whom are supportive and very much a team.  That can't be said for every SDM around.  There is one store in particular that I will not set foot in because of such a negative air about it and the way it treats a number of its workers.  Hint:  It's not my daughter's former workplace, or my own.

My own workouts at the gym have been fruitful in the department of weight management if nothing else.  I weigh 173lbs, the lowest in years, and I must say I have my share of leanness about me, without being boastful.  My aforementioned friend Jessica gave me a boost of confidence in conjunction with my wife, in that I'm able to look past a lot of meanness directed toward me by random idiots.  Just for example, at the gym, I worked out in my bike shorts (or, tight spandex) and a pink t-shirt, because Janice really likes that on me.  I passed by one of the machines I'd just worked on, and a lady brushed by me, looking at my shirt and shorts and then up at me, with a look of disgust on her face.  I just grinned at her.  In my mind, thinking, "I've got women like my wife and others like Jessica thinking I look just FINE, honey, and you will NEVER be as hot as either of them, so, FUCK YOU."  Pardon my expletive.  But that's the confidence that people like Janice and Jessica supply me.  I posted a pic of that very outfit, which I took right after that incident, on my facebook profile page.  Thank you, Jessica.  Thank you, Janice.  My pink shirt has a permanent place at the gym now to please you and piss off others.

That's going to be it for the time being until a Random Thoughts coming this way soon enough.  Until then, fire up those colortinis and watch the pictures fly through the air.

Have a good day.