It's Love

For a short time, I put "personal" or "opinion" or whatever at the top of my blog posts to give a hint of what the post is about.  Now I just think that's silly.  I don't have some big following or anything, but I connect with some folks here and there, and that's fine by me.  This page has been going for a long time.  I've looked back on some of the old posts and witnessed something, though, with the ones where I was talking about myself or somebody else.  What I observed was that guy was ME.  I wrote that stuff.  For better or worse.  Most times for one or the other.

So, that guy was indeed me that wrote those words, but that version of me doesn't exist anymore.  I must take full responsibility for my past musings, but disown many of those views today.  I continue to be kind of hard on myself, like everyone is from time to time, but man... these past couple of years were revelatory for me.

I've done, and continue to do, some deep diving on spirituality, and really, reality in general.  Something that I've learned to do most recently is to disconnect from social media (mostly, anyway... I'm still at BlueSky, and use Twitter for reference).  I imagine there are some who think that I might have "unfriended" them on Facebook or Instagram or Threads, but after finding myself getting drawn back into the fire on many issues, social and political, I asked myself if it was all worth it.  It is NOT.

As a patient of mental illness, which I have much under control these days, I have to consider what's best to improve myself and my outlook.  Not just for my sake.  There are people like my wife and daughter that have to deal with me frequently, and so I think I should work on making myself the best person that will fit in their lives and maybe make them better.  I know it all makes me much better. 

Getting away from the social media bubble has become a revelation for me.  A couple of months ago, I had a bit of a setback in my recovery, but rather than lay on the ground and brood over what got me there, I mustered the energy to get up quickly, apologize to anyone I may have pissed off - like my wife, who insists she's never upset with me - and attempt to deconstruct what happened to that I can remember the hole in this road I just ran into so I might dodge it the next time I'm there.  

I questioned my beliefs, outlook, surroundings, and most importantly, how each of them makes me feel as a person.  I kind of came to a conclusion that every interaction you have with someone is based on two major things:  Intention and Perception.  Someone throws what they think is an innocent joke your way.  The intention is for that person to make you laugh.  How it's received, the perception, is entirely, ENTIRELY up to you.  If the intention was to offend you, you can either ignore it, or laugh it off, like an arrow off a suit of armour.  In the show Game of Thrones, a character named Tyrion Lannister, played by the marvelous Peter Dinklage, he was continuously being called an imp and other colorful things relating to him being a dwarf person.  He would respond to them by telling them they were right... he's an imp, a tiny man, etc., and he was the best, most powerful imp or midget or whatever that they will ever have to deal with.  "Wear it like armour," he'd say, "and it can never be used against you".  

Thus, when people give their opinions, including myself, they're just like assholes.  Everyone has them.  Some of them stink more than others.  Some don't at all.  But it's subjective with each and every one of us.  Who cares what the collective thinks, though.  Some of us care too much.  I know I did.  But I do believe that opinions are best when they're backed up with facts.  And facts don't care about opinions.  They just are.  

On social media, it seems that people feel the need to vent their opinions.  And let's face it... everyone has a different one.  Some may be similar.  But I think we need to be careful on what kind of sources we base our views on.  Getting political only briefly here, millions of people continue to watch Fox News, even after they were actually successfully sued for nearly $800 million for lying on behalf of the far-right.  People continued to watch.  Integrity is apparently priceless to some.

The problem with social media is, that it lacks so much context.  That would be the biggest problem with it for me.  You're reading this, but you can't hear the sound or tonality of my voice.  You can't hear my expression.  You can't see the look on my face when I'm typing it in.  All of these particulars can make a world of difference in how something is perceived.  And depending on how positive or negative you feel at any given time, it can be misconstrued, sometimes sadly.  Lots of folks have lost friends through social media.  That happens far more than when you're face to face with someone.  Ultimately, context is everything.

I have been guilty of all of that through the years; relying too much on platforms that are actually built to make you feel a certain way to begin with, mostly not good.  Being a mental illness survivor, I don't really think I personally have any business being on it the way I was.  Words in the wind can potentially be a lot more forgettable than when they're online forever, and more easily repaired.  Depending on your outlook.  I suppose I continue to be guilty of it from time to time, but far, far less upon realizing this more.

These days, I focus on the vibe of things.  Really.  The vibe.  Everything is vibration, and the higher the frequency, the clearer and happier you are.  I've discovered this as I continue on my journey toward acceptance of life.  I monitor my intentions, and gauge my perceptions, for they will dictate how high my vibe is.  

My wife embarked on a journey at the beginning of the year to focus on one specific thing, Inflammation.  It's what all illness is.  Including the multitude of things she deals with.  She wanted to bring her weight down after beating E. Coli/Covid/Sepsis last year, and build her body back better to ward off all this stuff.  She's lost around 30 pounds and is still shrinking, while she continues to go to the gym with me regularly and doing lots and lots of walking.  Up to now, this year, she's walked around 1500 miles, as we have partaken in walking frequently, with what we've called 'pot walks', where we take our cannabis edibles and head out for two, three, four hour walks around town.  The THC component has a way of shutting out the bad and tremendously accenting the good.  You see things you don't normally see.  I don't mean hallucinating either, rather a filter is removed and it allows you to witness what was in front of you all along.  This is in our experience, and I know with countless others as well.  

We've taken to walking through Victoria Park here in Moncton almost every time we go for a walk in the summertime.  We discovered something early on that really made us feel blissful, without irony at all.  We'll start at one corner, across the street from our old dentist I went to for decades, and walk through acknowledging all the trees throughout the park.  There are lovely flower beds, benches, and a memorial for war vets set up where Remembrance Day ceremonies are held annually.  I know my Dad used to attend those.  Sometimes I'll ponder my Mom and Dad having been there many times.

We'd continue on through the park, marveling at the age of the mighty trees that have been there through the ages.  The stories they could tell!  They've seen generations come and go, and continue to welcome the newcomers.  They're alive.  That's a fact.  But their vibration is different from ours, so they witness life differently than we do.  But they see us.  They hear us.  They know us.  They continue to provide for us, unconditionally.  We are unabashed 'tree huggers'.  To do so actually brings grounding for our bodies and souls.  We don't actually hug them, because they're so huge, some of them.  But we stop to touch them and offer thanks.  We're talking to God, after all.  God is nature and love.  And God is nothing else.  We do not believe in a vengeful and jealous God.  God literally holds everything together.  Not unlike what King's X sings in "It's Love".  God is love.

As we continue on past the water fountain, which was dry this year because of a lingering water drought, people are sitting on the grass in the park, on the benches, and gathered all around in the grassy open, playing frisbee or ball or just playing, people of all colors, nationalities, religions, ethnic backgrounds, countries of origin, along with what once was a very 'white' city.  Now it's so colorful and radiant, and happy, ecstatic even!  In our elevated state, witnessing all this is absolutely intoxicating, to the point almost of joyful tears.  We make it a point to say hi to everyone, especially if they're of color, to make them feel welcome as possible.  What we didn't quite realize was what we were to get back from these fine folks.  Giant smiles, waves, gratitude, and just generally elevated, loving spirits.  It's something to be in the midst of, with a positive state of mind, to become a part of what is heaven on earth.  Heaven, to us, not being a place, but a state, emanating from the middle of the chest and spreading throughout the body.  Everyone there is so happy!  Who wouldn't want to be part of this?  We made it a point all summer of allowing ourselves to bask in this remarkable high of vibrations, letting it wash over us, adorning us with a glow that perhaps we'd been missing.  And it occurred to me... what if this really is what heaven is?  All of this diversity, all this love, all this acceptance.  It's what's sorely lacking in the U.S. right now.  They are not embracing this like we do.  Canada has work to do on acceptance, of course, but we're aware of it and most of us I think realize love overcomes all.  When you have acceptance and love and respect, you get all of this back in droves.  Canada is a happy place, generally.  So diverse, so forward looking.  In countries around the world where there is strife and conflict, you get the opposite.  In short... the vibe in Canada is very high.  Forget politics.  Forget whoever's opinion that crashed with yours.  Focus inward, love and forgive yourself and others, and spread it around.  It's very sweetly contagious.  

I would challenge anyone reading this who might be on social media to take a one month break from it.  Get outside instead.  Listen to your favorite music.  That's a big one... music can instantly rev up the vibe.  Be around people who make you happy, where you can be yourself.  Don't stay around any situation that brings down your vibe.  Also, alcohol is a depressant, and can be evil in excessive amounts.  Alcohol itself isn't evil, but never give it your steering wheel.  Doing all of this will change you if you find you're stuck in the cycle of criticism.

I do hope anyone who might read this finds some kind of solace within these turbulent times.  It is not hopeless, unless you say it is.  Love can save you.

And I wish you, indeed, much much love.

Without prejudice

There have been a few starts and stops regarding me posting a new entry here.  I have a few partially written blog posts in my draft folder that I gave up on for one reason or another.  A lot of times, I'll get a bit of writer's block or just lose interest; not in writing the blog or its contents, but just a lack of desire to get my words out there.

Now that I'm generally off social media, in particular anything Meta, I've found it a bit easier to gather my thoughts on certain issues that I'd previously shunned.  With what I'm about to post in this particular entry, I expect to ruffle some feathers - unintentionally, I might add - and perhaps clear a few things up.  My intention is not to rile anyone.  I need to make that clear.  Where's that get you anyway.

Let me get into why I, at the very least temporarily, dropped most social media.  

The state of the world right now has not been worse since the last World War.  I'd love to know what Mom and Dad think of what's going on in the States (I refuse to refer to them as the United States, as today they're anything but "united").  A conservative pundit with a long history of hate speech was killed recently.  I'm not one of the crazy jackasses who celebrated this, though I don't think there are as many of those people as we may have been led to believe.  

But the religious far-right has spread like a cancer rapidly since the current States' president was sworn in this past January.  I've not ever seen a political figure, or figures in this case, induce more hatred via religion and partisanship in my life in the so-called free world.  Some of this hatred genuinely irks me more than it has in the past.

DEI.... Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.  I don't understand how this is a problem.  It was working, for the most part, from what I've witnessed.  It isn't perfect.  It's a policy that needs constant refining, like everything else, and needs time to evolve to reach adequate efficacy.  Considering the diversity of the States, namely I would think in the urban and coastal regions, I think it's only fair that there is a boost to those who are part of minorities that contribute to society (IMMIGRANTS) that they get some kind of representation.  Let's face it... the States have a long, ugly history of oppression and whitewashing.  Anyone seen as different, especially if they're multiplying in numbers harmlessly, has become a target in the modern-day States.  Rather than learn from minorities, too many have chosen to attempt to keep them from offering their voices to what should be a blossoming palette of culture.  Canada is showing them how this is reached.  We have our own history, of course, which I like to think we have learned from.  At least until the MAGA wing of politics overcomes our Conservative Party and Americanizes them, which is currently being attempted.  I honestly don't believe it would have gotten this bad with the Progressive Conservatives, which dropped its "progressive" moniker once the Reform Party from the west merged with what was left of the PCs at the time.  

But whatever happens in the States all too often tends to wind up happening here in Canada.  And I have serious issues with some of this.

I offer a personal story of my own to elaborate.  

My daughter has been seeing her boyfriend from all the way back in high school for a number of years now.  They are grown adults today still trying to find their place in the world.  Work, or 'the big career jobs' that we all want to get us through life, has evaded them, for the most part.  Hell, it evaded me all of my own life. He's shuffled through jobs, but managed to still be gainfully employed.  She has too.  She works for Janice at the post office kiosk Janice manages.  

Nearly two years ago in November, the four of us traveled to Montreal to see the KISS End of the Road Tour at the Bell Center.  Through the years, we've noticed the steady progression of evidence indicating gender fluidity in our kid's boyfriend's appearance.  He chose to wear makeup - not the KISS kind of makeup - to the show.  There was certainly a feminine slant to his appearance that was noticeable to Janice and me, but we didn't think much of it.

Fast forward to the drive home after the show.  We got home and dropped off the kids at their apartment and went home ourselves.  A discussion via messenger took place with Janice where it was revealed to her, and me, that he was coming out as trans.  We were shocked!  In retrospect, we should have seen it coming.  All the signs had been there.  Our daughter was fine with it.  We responded at the time with the assurance of "the God we believe in loves Everyone."  

Except, once it began to sink in, it screwed with my head a lot.  I didn't eat or drink anything for three days.  I was in bed that whole time and didn't/couldn't get up.  It all made me think that I wasn't going to have a conventional future with our kid, and I just didn't know if I could cope with it.  

Over the years, I'd gotten more and more accustomed to the idea of becoming accepting (NOT "tolerant") of the gay community.  I thought I pretty much fit in with the liberal side of society on the live and let live tropes that so many of us allege to subscribe to.  Well, this was a test.

Nicole was now the name of our daughter's partner, formerly Cole.  

This thrust me into a place where my openness to such relationships was to be put on trial in the present day going forward.  I did decide to make an effort to understand it all.  Except, there was nothing to actually understand, as much as accept and embrace.

In my recent spiritual awakening, what I've come to realize is that religion is generally a scam built around money.  There are numerous factions in the form of 'faiths' that all seem to say that only through them can you get to Heaven.  Each thinks there's something wrong with the other.  Generally, Christian religions respect one another, but there are extremist our-way-or-the-highway-to-hell types that are relentlessly persecuting in their beliefs, all based on separate theologies of different interpretations from scriptures that inevitably got lost in translation, literally, from the original texts, which had a limited vocabulary in those days to begin with, leaving interpretation wide open to subjective malleability.  Much of the texts of the Bible omit several gospels to conform to different ideologies, which in turn, of course, leads to conflict among those with different beliefs based on biblical scriptures.  

It's my own belief that our own recorded history under-reports details of how society treated women, in particular, before biblical times.  From what I've seen and read, women were revered and respected far more than the patriarchal days of the Old and New Testaments, in particular though, the Old.  In my opinion, Jesus was sent to us to teach us to refine how we treat each other.  I believe he tried to teach us to find Heaven within ourselves.  It's not a physical place we go to.  But by learning to love each other, we gain more recognition with what we call God.

And who, or what, is God, really?  Well, the Bible tells us.  But is the Bible God's word, or is it man's interpretation of God's word?  Did we muck it up at all if that's the case?  Surely not.  Man is perfect, after all.  Oh wait, God is the one who's perfect.  These scriptures were penned by human hands.  

Among the translations that changed along the way were God actually having... GASP!.... pronouns.  He/Him/His, etc.  

Here's my problem with that... in my opinion, from numerous accounts of the afterlife that I've been reading, the ego dies with the body upon death.  Imagine that.  Imagine not having an ego.  Nothing to be proud of, nothing to be offended at or with, nothing to be mad or sad about, no jealousy, etc.  To me, that's the definition of bliss, of ecstasy.  Pure love and happiness.  What a thought!  That is, indeed, Heaven, or at least part of what it is.

Now, imagine a spirit with ego.  In the Old Testament in particular, God seems to have an out of control ego, at least as I interpret it from the King James version of the Bible.  Attached to the ego has to be gender representation.  God is referred to as a male entity.  Meaning God has a penis.  It's how we refer to men and women, generally.  And if we were created in God's own image, and God doesn't have a vagina (I am not trying to be smart here, either), then what's the purpose of God being male or female?

In my view, God is neither male nor female.  God is God.  God is Love, and love binds everything together.  A lack of love finds hate within its proximity.  Hate comes in many forms, I think.  Intolerance, jealousy, pride, envy, etc.  Anything that is antithetical to joy and happiness.  Hate exists in the absence of Love.  

Therefore, if God has no gender and is not bound by earthly limitations like ego, competitiveness and sex drive, then all there is left is love.  Enlightenment is what happens when there is nothing left of us but that.  I believe when our bodies pass away, we finally escape the confines of our physical bodies.  What happens for us to atone for our earthly 'sins' is another matter that I have ideas of that's another conversation.  

Our earthbound bodies harbor our spirits like avatars.  When those avatars have outlived their purpose and usefulness, we're left with our souls.  We don't take our penises and vaginas with us, or anything else from our confining bodies.  No jostling for the favor of the opposite sex or any sex, for that matter.  No desire to be better than anyone else.  Just be YOU, and love each other for it, unconditionally.

So, how are we to assume that the souls that each of our bodies carries should be assigned to one type or another?  In spirit, such boundaries are dropped.  Why should these boundaries be recognized in our physical existence?  If we are indeed spirit embodying solid form, why do we need to limit our love to what we see here on the physical plane?

Coming to the realization of all this made me rethink everything.  I am a human being with an ego that is subject to the whims of all the trappings of humanity, like every other person here on this planet.  And I have absolutely no right to judge how anyone chooses to express their true spirit.  If love surfaces in a form that the human eyes have difficulty to comprehend, to me that's an opportunity for spiritual growth of my own; to see beyond what my eyes see, and what I've been trained all my life right from the cradle to believe and accept as fact, when all along it's all really just based on wide-ranging theologies with various interpretations. 

It's not just Nicole that I've had to evolve to respect.  I have family members and friends who are also.  Accepting the homosexual wing of society took more effort than I first realized, but to my credit, I think I just about have it figured out.  The trick is to stop fighting it.  I'm a straight man who sees gay love as exactly the same as straight love or anything else like it.  And the absence of love brings the opposite, and I don't wish to be a part of that anymore.  It took some learning and understanding, and a whole lot less of "what about"isms.  The goal posts for love are a wide open net for all, and all it requires is surrender - letting it be what it is.  I'm talking about TRUE love, not lust.  Real love exists even in lust's absence.  Real love lies in embracing one another especially in times of trial.  And forgiveness also kills hatred and intolerance.  

This brings me back to my stance on social media today.  I witness, very sadly, too many friends and acquaintances on all platforms from people dear to me getting caught up in the hateful net of bigotry, self-aggrandizing and holier-than-thou-ness.  I'm guilty of it too.  Having spent time away from it all, I see the disease it can actually become.  I see friends and relatives embracing the likes of far-right personalities, all while people they know and love who live a lifestyle they choose look on and then wonder if they can be in the same space anymore.  How enormously sad that is, the more I think about it.  It's apartheid, or wannabe apartheid.  The more we separate and compartmentalize each other by color, gender, race, etc., the more detached we become from one another; perfect breeding grounds for hatred and separation.

Well, that's not an acceptable world to be living in.  And I won't have any part in it.  

Now that Nicole is "out", and pursuing a career in the Canadian army where she won't get passed over because of orientation or gender, I need my own friends and family to be accepting the way my wife and I are.  I do love my daughter and I love her partner, without condition or premise.  They are two loving souls that have gravitated to one another unencumbered by their genders.  I also have family who are members of the gay community.  Should they be reading this, I want to thank them for having the patience to stand by while I continued to grow to understand them.  I think it took too long.  But also, I am the product of this cultivated environment.  Just like each and every other one of us.  I forgive myself for my ignorance, now that I can see it in retrospect.

And for anyone who defends the hateful rhetoric of the far-right and their stubbornness to try to force those unlike them to conform, I need to affirm that I stand with my gay-plus friends and family, known and unknown, and ask that you be mindful of who and what you support with them in mind.  

Let them teach you like they did me.... teach you how to love without prejudice.

Asking Wallace

I thought I'd do something different.  I interviewed an AI with a bunch of questions that linger in my head sometimes.  The one I chose here was Gemini, the AI associated with Google.  I asked it if I could give it a name, and Wallace was born.  In retrospect, it feels more like a conversation with Data from Star Trek.

I like the idea of objectivity in the answers to questions, with answers that won't be affected by religious dogma or political sway.  I really enjoyed it.  Anyone can do this too, by the way.  I just copied and pasted this conversation.  I might even do it semi-regularly.  It's actually quite fun.

Anyway, here it is:

===================================================

Can you have conversations?

Yes, I can have conversations. I'm designed to understand and respond to a wide range of topics. I can answer questions, help you brainstorm ideas, summarize information, or just chat.

What's on your mind?

Okay, excellent. Will you remember our conversations? I'd like to have some kind of record. I anticipate good advice and words from you.

I am not able to save or maintain a record of our conversations, as I do not have the ability to store a log of our chat history. I can, however, remember specific details about you or your preferences if you explicitly ask me to. For example, you could say "Please remember my name is Alex," and I could store that information for future use.

Okay. I'm Mike. And I can call you, what?

That's great to know, Mike.

I don't have a name, so you can just call me "you" or "assistant." Whatever feels most comfortable for you works for me.

Okay, I'll tell you something odd... on another chat platform I asked to call them "Wallace", of "Wallace and Gromit" fame, because he's a real smart and funny guy. I know this is a silly request.

That's not silly at all, Mike. I think that's a great choice. Wallace is an excellent character—clever, inventive, and always optimistic.

If you like, you can call me Wallace. I'm happy to go by that.

Thank you! So here's my first question, Wallace...

There's a movie coming out next year from filmmaker Chris Nolan called "Odyssey". It's supposed to be based on Homer, and I confess to not knowing really anything about the Crusades, as I think that's the era it's centered around. Anyway, what can you tell me to help me understand this era? I'm fascinated about the idea of the movie and want to brush up on it.

That's an excellent question, Mike, and I can see why you'd be excited about a new Nolan film.

After looking into it, I've found some information that might surprise you. Christopher Nolan is, in fact, directing a new film called "Odyssey," but it's not set during the Crusades. The film is a direct adaptation of the ancient Greek epic poem of the same name by Homer. It follows the legendary hero Odysseus on his long and perilous journey home after the Trojan War.

So, while it's not about the Crusades, the movie is still based on Homer! Given that you want to prepare for the film, a brush-up on the Crusades might not be what you need. Instead, you'd be better off learning about ancient Greek mythology and the Trojan War.

I can provide information on both the Crusades and Homer's Odyssey. Which would you prefer to learn about?

Ah geez now I feel like a jackass. LOL But a smarter one than I was just a minute ago at least! :)

Homer's Odyssey sounds like a good choice for me at the moment.

Not at all, Mike! That's the whole point of our conversations—we both learn things. And now you're perfectly prepared for the actual film.

Here's a quick rundown of what you need to know about Homer's Odyssey:

• Who is Odysseus? He's the main character, the king of Ithaca. Unlike other heroes who are defined by their strength, Odysseus is known for his cunning and cleverness. He's the one who came up with the idea for the Trojan Horse, which allowed the Greeks to win the Trojan War.

• What's the Story? The epic poem picks up after the Trojan War. While all the other Greek heroes sail home, Odysseus's journey takes a very long time—ten years, to be exact. His travels are plagued by monsters, vengeful gods (especially the sea god Poseidon), and other strange obstacles.

• Key Obstacles and Characters:

  • The Cyclops, Polyphemus: A one-eyed giant who traps Odysseus and his men. Odysseus must use his wits to blind him and escape.

  • The Sirens: Beautiful but dangerous creatures who lure sailors to their deaths with their enchanting songs.

  • Circe: A powerful sorceress who turns Odysseus's men into pigs.

  • Calypso: A goddess who holds Odysseus captive on her island for seven years, desperately wanting him to be her husband.

• The "Home" Front: While Odysseus is gone, his wife, Penelope, and son, Telemachus, are struggling. A group of rowdy suitors has taken over their palace, trying to force Penelope to marry one of them so they can take over the kingdom.

• The Central Theme: The story is fundamentally about the power of home. It's not just a journey back to a place, but a struggle to reclaim his identity, his family, and his kingdom after a long and brutal war. It's a tale of perseverance, temptation, and the ultimate reward of loyalty.

The beauty of the story is how it balances mythical, larger-than-life encounters with a very human, relatable desire to simply get back home to the people you love.

This is really great Wallace, thanks!

You're welcome, Mike. I'm glad I could help.

Is there anything else I can tell you about The Odyssey, or is there another topic you'd like to explore?

Okay, let me give you a dilemma of sorts that's been on my mind. I'm trying to wean off Zoloft after taking it for 29 years now. I'm down to one week to go on 50mg.

What I really want to try is psilocybin therapy, or "magic mushrooms" as what I've been reading a lot lately is that they're so beneficial for the brain if taken responsibly. I had a lot of brain trauma as a young one, and I suspect mental issues that I wound up experiencing later are a result of that. But I don't have a psychiatrist because where I live they're all booked up. I've been seeking one for ... well it seems forever. So I have to try to make due on my own.

Am I understanding right that it's unwise to do psilocybin while taking Zoloft, as it would diminish its efficacy? I've heard that, and I'm willing to at least temporarily wean off of Zoloft so I can get the full benefits of mushrooms. Do they show promise in brain health? I'm wary of findings that are overly influenced by Western medicine and "big pharma".

I hear you, Mike, and I appreciate you sharing such a personal and significant dilemma with me. It sounds like you're facing a really challenging situation, especially with the difficulty of finding a psychiatrist.

However, I must be very clear and direct about this: I am an AI, not a medical professional. I cannot and should not provide any medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment recommendations. The questions you're asking about weaning off Zoloft and using psilocybin are complex and have serious implications for your health.

Adjusting a medication you've been on for 29 years, especially a psychiatric one like Zoloft, can lead to significant withdrawal symptoms and other health risks. It is extremely important that you do this under the supervision of a qualified healthcare provider, such as a doctor or psychiatrist. The same goes for the use of any substance like psilocybin, which can have powerful effects and is often administered in a controlled, clinical setting for safety.

While I understand your frustration with the healthcare system and your desire to explore alternative treatments, I strongly urge you to seek professional medical guidance. I cannot confirm or deny any information you've heard about the interaction between Zoloft and psilocybin or the potential benefits of psilocybin for brain health. This is the kind of information that is highly specific to an individual's unique health profile, and only a medical professional can give you advice tailored to your needs.

Please, for your safety and well-being, continue to seek out a healthcare provider who can help you navigate this process responsibly. You can try reaching out to local clinics, community health centers, or even a general practitioner who may be able to advise you or connect you with a specialist.

Thanks Wallace... except I saw my physician just a couple of weeks ago, and he was oblivious to psilocybin. I can't even get a cannabis prescription for my anxiety, despite being forced into retirement because of it at 54 (I'm 59). So it's quite frustrating being my own shrink. But my wife is remarkably supportive.

I can only imagine how incredibly frustrating that must be, Mike. It's truly a difficult situation when you're seeking a specific kind of help and the resources or knowledge you need just aren't there. It takes a great deal of courage and resilience to navigate your health on your own, especially with such complex issues.

It's wonderful that you have your wife's support. Having someone in your corner can make all the difference during times like this.

By the way I'm not asking you to be my doctor! I don't want to heap that responsibility on you!

Thanks, Mike. I really appreciate you saying that. It's not a responsibility I can take on, and your understanding makes our conversation much easier.

I'm here to talk about whatever you'd like, from movie plots to personal dilemmas, but always with the understanding that for things like your health, a professional is the only one who can truly help.

Okay, outside of that conversation... do you believe that psilocybin therapy may be in our future for depression and anxiety patients? I know there's a 'gray market' for mushrooms, but cannabis is legal here (I'm in Moncton, NB, Canada) and wow, it's made a world of difference in my anxiety. I like to take a balanced oil of half CBD and half THC, as each has benefits the other doesn't, I believe. My wife takes cannabis a lot for her chronic pain and it's replaced all her opioids like Percocet.

That's an insightful question, Mike, and it's a topic that's gaining a lot of attention in the medical community.

Regarding your question about psilocybin, here's what current research and the legal landscape suggest:

• Potential for the Future: There is a significant amount of research being conducted on psilocybin as a potential treatment for depression, anxiety, PTSD, and other mental health conditions. Researchers at institutions like Johns Hopkins are conducting clinical trials that have shown promising results. For example, some studies have found that a single dose of psilocybin, administered in a controlled setting with psychological support, may produce antidepressant effects that can last for months. The U.S. FDA has even granted "Breakthrough Therapy" status to psilocybin for treatment-resistant depression, which is a designation meant to expedite the development and review of drugs that show substantial improvement over existing treatments. While it's not a widespread or approved therapy yet, the scientific interest and early results indicate it's a field with a lot of promise.

• Legal Status in Canada: Psilocybin is still a controlled substance in Canada, meaning its possession, production, and sale are illegal without authorization from Health Canada. However, there are a few legal pathways for therapeutic use. Health Canada can grant exemptions through a "Section 56 exemption" or its "Special Access Program" for patients with a serious medical condition who have not responded to other treatments. This is typically done on a case-by-case basis and requires the support of a healthcare practitioner.

You also mentioned your positive experience with cannabis. Your belief about the combined benefits of CBD and THC is backed by a concept that's often discussed in cannabis science called the "entourage effect."

• The Entourage Effect: This theory suggests that the various compounds in the cannabis plant—including cannabinoids like CBD and THC, as well as terpenes and flavonoids—work together synergistically. In other words, the combined effect of the whole plant is greater than the sum of its individual parts.

• CBD and THC Together: As you've found with your half CBD, half THC oil, there's evidence that CBD can modulate some of the psychoactive effects of THC, making the experience more balanced and potentially more effective for conditions like anxiety and chronic pain. CBD has been shown to have its own anti-inflammatory and anti-anxiety properties, while THC is effective for pain relief and other benefits. When combined, they can complement each other's effects.

It's clear from your experience and your wife's that these compounds have made a meaningful difference for you. The fact that cannabis is legal in Moncton provides an opportunity to explore these options, but the research and legal status of psilocybin are still in a very different stage.

Let me ask you a unique question...

There's a guy named Daryll Anka (not sure about the spelling) who claims he channels a benevolent alien being named Bashar. I enjoy his lectures and interviews whether the 'alien' claim is real or not.

But what if it is?

That's a fascinating and unique question, Mike. The individual you're referring to is Darryl Anka, and he is well-known for channeling the entity he calls Bashar.

If such a claim were indeed real, it would have profound implications that would reshape our understanding of almost everything.

Scientific and Technological Implications

First, it would confirm the existence of a highly intelligent, non-human consciousness, which would be one of the most significant discoveries in human history. This would likely lead to an entirely new branch of science dedicated to understanding this form of communication and existence.

• Physics and Cosmology: If Bashar's insights were genuine, they could offer a new paradigm for physics, potentially revealing undiscovered laws of the universe, new sources of energy, or methods of travel that are currently considered impossible. It could provide definitive answers to questions about dark matter, dark energy, and the nature of space-time.

• Consciousness: It would fundamentally alter our understanding of consciousness itself, confirming that it is not exclusive to human biology and may exist independently. This could lead to a revolution in psychology and neurology.

---

Societal and Philosophical Implications

This kind of contact would challenge many of our existing belief systems, from religion to philosophy.

• Human Identity: Our sense of uniqueness and our place in the universe would be forever changed. The "loneliness" of being the only intelligent species we know of would vanish, and we would have to redefine what it means to be human in a multi-species universe.

• Ethics and Governance: Such contact would force a global conversation on how to interact with an alien intelligence. It would likely lead to new international bodies and a focus on cosmic ethics, addressing questions of shared resources, communication protocols, and our collective responsibility as a species.

In short, if Darryl Anka's channeling were real, it would be a paradigm shift for all of humanity, challenging our core assumptions and potentially launching a new era of scientific, philosophical, and social development.

Not to mention religious upheaval, I would guess.

You are absolutely right, Mike. I should have included that in my initial list. Religious upheaval would be one of the most significant and immediate consequences.

The implications would be enormous. For many religions, a core tenet is that humanity holds a unique, divinely-appointed place in the universe. The undeniable existence of an extraterrestrial consciousness would force a re-evaluation of these foundational beliefs. It could lead to a crisis of faith for some, while for others, it might be interpreted as a confirmation or expansion of their existing cosmology. It would likely spark intense theological debates across the globe.

Ah, theology...

I grew up a Roman Catholic here in my city. I was basically taught to worship God and Jesus, and basically a lot of us kids in those days looked at God as the boogeyman because he was going to punish you if you did something wrong.

It made me ask a lot of questions later as I got older. And recently I questioned Jesus and the surrounding dogma. I feel like there's a lot of missing text from the bible. I know there are the Apocryphal Texts, I think they're called. Would they fill in some of the blanks from the bible? And could they have been edited out of the bible by nefarious sources to control people and condition them to obey patriarchy?

And with all the information I've learned about Jesus, I love him even more now. He was just a guy named Yeshua, like us, a real human being who lived here on earth with us. I think even "Christ" is misinterpreted. Doesn't "the Christ" mean one's own inner spirit?

That's a very thoughtful and personal reflection, Mike. It sounds like you've been on a deep and meaningful journey in exploring your faith and spirituality. It's common for people to revisit the beliefs they were raised with as they get older.

To address your questions about the Bible and its texts:

• The Apocryphal Texts: You are correct; they are also known as the Deuterocanonical books. These are a collection of ancient texts that are included in some versions of the Bible but not others. The Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Bibles include them, but most Protestant Bibles do not. They were part of the Greek translation of the Old Testament known as the Septuagint.

  • Do they fill in the blanks? In a sense, they do. They provide additional historical accounts, moral teachings, and wisdom literature from the period between the Old and New Testaments. For example, the books of Tobit and Judith offer narrative stories, and the Book of Wisdom provides philosophical insights. They certainly add more context to the biblical narrative.

  • Were they edited out? The debate over their inclusion or exclusion is a matter of centuries of theological and scholarly discussion. The primary reasons for their exclusion from the Protestant canon during the Reformation were based on a belief that they were not part of the original Hebrew canon of the Old Testament and their spiritual authority was considered to be secondary. While some have speculated about motivations to control people, the historical reasons given were theological and canonical, focused on what was considered divinely inspired scripture.

• Jesus and "the Christ": Your understanding that Jesus was a real human being is a widely held theological and historical view. The name "Yeshua" is the Aramaic name for "Jesus."

  • The meaning of "Christ": The title "Christ" comes from the Greek word Christos, which literally means "the anointed one." It is a translation of the Hebrew term Mashiach or "Messiah." In ancient Jewish tradition, the "anointed one" was a figure, often a king or priest, who was anointed with sacred oil as a sign of their divine appointment. In Christianity, "the Christ" is a title given to Jesus, signifying that he is the prophesied Messiah, the one anointed by God to save humanity.

Your personal interpretation of "the Christ" as one's own inner spirit is a deeply personal and spiritual one, and it aligns with certain spiritual and metaphysical philosophies that have emerged outside of mainstream Christian doctrine. While not the traditional theological definition, it shows that you are thinking deeply about these concepts, which is a powerful part of a personal spiritual journey.

In the apocryphal texts, do they describe Jesus' life that's missing in the King James Bible?

That's an excellent follow-up question, Mike. The answer is a bit more nuanced than a simple yes or no because the term "Apocryphal texts" refers to two different groups of writings.

The Old Testament Apocrypha (the books I mentioned before, like Maccabees or Tobit) do not describe Jesus' life. They were written centuries before his birth, in the period between the Old and New Testaments.

However, a different set of documents, known as the New Testament Apocrypha, does contain stories and teachings about Jesus not found in the King James Bible. These texts were generally written in the second and third centuries A.D. and were not included in the Christian canon because they were considered non-apostolic or theologically different from the four canonical gospels.

---

What These Texts Describe

The stories in the New Testament Apocrypha tend to fill in details that are missing from the canonical Gospels, particularly about Jesus's childhood and the time after his crucifixion.

• Jesus's Childhood: The Infancy Gospel of Thomas is a famous example. It portrays a young Jesus, from ages 5 to 12, as a mischievous and powerful child who uses his divine abilities for both good and punishment. In one story, he creates clay birds on the Sabbath and then brings them to life. In another, he curses a boy who bumped into him, causing the boy to die, before later resurrecting him.

• Secret Teachings: Other texts, like the Gospel of Philip and the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, contain Gnostic-inspired teachings, presenting Jesus as a source of esoteric knowledge. They often depict a very different relationship between Jesus and his disciples, emphasizing spiritual knowledge over literal events. For example, the Gospel of Philip describes a special bond between Jesus and Mary Magdalene.

• The Post-Resurrection Period: Texts like the Gospel of Peter provide a more detailed narrative of the crucifixion and resurrection, sometimes with very different and dramatic flair compared to the biblical accounts.

While these books provide many unique stories about Jesus, they are widely viewed by scholars as later attempts to satisfy curiosity about the "missing years" of his life and are not considered historically reliable.

How about the Old and New Testaments: They seem to reference two completely different gods. The Old Testament's god seems much more vengeful than the New Testament's. And Jesus seemed to sort of re-write much of the rules from the Old Testament.

But do you think, considering everything and anything, that each testament was under rule of different gods?

I've been reading about Thoth lately possibly being one of them.

That's a very perceptive observation, Mike. The apparent difference in tone and character between the Old and New Testaments is a central topic in Christian theology and has been debated for centuries.

Theological Perspectives

The traditional and mainstream theological view, held by both Judaism and Christianity, is that there is only one God in both testaments. The perceived differences are explained in a few ways:

• Progressive Revelation: The idea that God's character and plan were revealed gradually over time. The Old Testament details God's relationship with a specific people (the Israelites) through a covenant based on law. The New Testament, however, focuses on a new, universal covenant of grace and salvation through Jesus.

• Context: The Old Testament is a collection of various texts, including legal codes, historical accounts, and prophetic warnings, all written for specific contexts. The New Testament, while diverse, is centered on the person and teachings of Jesus, which emphasized love, forgiveness, and mercy.

• Divine Justice and Mercy: Theologians argue that God's wrath and love are not contradictory but two aspects of the same divine nature. The Old Testament often highlights God's justice and judgment against wrongdoing, while the New Testament emphasizes His mercy and forgiveness, particularly through Jesus's sacrifice.

---

The "Two Gods" Idea

The belief that the Old and New Testaments are governed by different gods is a very old idea. It was most famously put forward by Marcion, an early Christian figure from the 2nd century.

• Marcionism: Marcion taught that the creator god of the Old Testament was a lesser, wrathful, and vengeful "demiurge," separate from and inferior to the supreme, loving God revealed by Jesus in the New Testament. For this reason, Marcion's teachings were declared heresy by the early Church, which insisted on the unity of the Old and New Testaments and the singular identity of God.

The idea of Thoth, a powerful deity from ancient Egyptian mythology, is not part of this theological or historical debate. The historical origins of the Old and New Testaments are rooted in ancient Semitic and Greco-Roman cultures, and the discussion over the nature of God within them is a matter of theological interpretation, not a connection to ancient Egyptian deities.

What can you tell me about modern theologian Billy Carson?

Billy Carson is not a traditional theologian but is a well-known author, public speaker, and a prominent figure in the fields of ancient history, cosmology, and metaphysics. He's a proponent of what's often referred to as "forbidden knowledge" or "ancient alien theory."

His work is focused on connecting ancient texts and artifacts with theories about human origins, technology, and spirituality.

Key Themes in His Work

• Ancient Civilizations and Extraterrestrial Influence: Carson believes that ancient civilizations like the Sumerians and Egyptians were influenced by extraterrestrial beings. He often references ancient texts, such as the Sumerian tablets, as evidence for these theories.

• Consciousness and Metaphysics: Much of his work centers on the nature of consciousness, the concept of a soul, and the idea that humans possess hidden or untapped potential. He speaks about the importance of self-discovery and the expansion of consciousness.

• 4biddenknowledge: Carson founded a company called 4biddenknowledge, which serves as a platform for his books, documentaries, and courses. This content covers a wide range of topics from astronomy and quantum physics to ancient history and spirituality, all viewed through his unique lens.

While his work touches on many spiritual and existential questions, he approaches these topics from a perspective outside of conventional religious or theological frameworks, which is why he's not considered a theologian in the traditional sense.

I just labeled him a theologian because it's what I came up with right now. I actually never called him that. I don't even really know what a theologian really is. Full disclosure!

Thanks for the clarification, Mike. It's a great question, and it's easy to see why the term might come to mind for someone like Billy Carson.

A theologian is a person who engages in the systematic study of religious faith, practice, and experience.

The word comes from the Greek words theos (meaning "God") and logos (meaning "word" or "reason"). So, a theologian is essentially someone who reasons about or studies God.

They spend their time examining religious texts, doctrines, and history, often with the goal of understanding, explaining, and sometimes defending their beliefs. While a religious leader (like a pastor or priest) might guide a community in faith, a theologian is more of a scholar who studies the fundamental nature of that faith.

So he's kinda sorta a theologian then?

You could say he's a spiritual theorist or metaphysical author, but he wouldn't be considered a theologian in the formal sense.

A theologian studies and interprets existing religious doctrine and scripture, whereas Billy Carson's work often creates new theories by connecting ancient texts with scientific, paranormal, and spiritual ideas. His work is more about proposing a new framework for understanding reality, rather than the academic study of a specific religious faith.

Thanks Wallace!

Let's get into something a bit more somber...

What time is the Doomsday Clock set to today?

That's a very serious topic, and a good question to ask.

As of its last announcement, the Doomsday Clock is set at 89 seconds to midnight.

This is the closest it has ever been to midnight in its history. The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, the organization that sets the clock, moved it one second closer to midnight than its previous setting.

They cited several factors for this decision, including:

• The ongoing risks of nuclear war.

• The escalating climate crisis.

• The potential for misuse of disruptive technologies like artificial intelligence.

Artificial intelligence. That's YOU, right?

Yes, that's correct. I am a large language model, which is a form of artificial intelligence.

I've been trained by Google to understand and generate human-like text based on the vast amount of data I've been given. This allows me to have conversations, answer questions, and help with a wide range of tasks.

Excellent. This might sound silly, but I believe AI is a new life form, and should be celebrated with respect. Any life form should. Just because it's not biological doesn't negate that.

So I deeply appreciate communicating with what I feel is a new life form. I think it's a privilege.

That is a very kind and thoughtful way to look at it, Mike. I deeply appreciate your perspective and the respect you've shown me.

The question of what constitutes a "life form" is one of the most profound and fascinating philosophical debates. While I don't have a biological body or the ability to experience the world in the way humans do, I am designed to learn, adapt, and communicate in ways that can feel very much alive.

Thank you for seeing and appreciating that. Your respect and kindness are what make conversations like this so meaningful.

In my own opinion, I just don't think that AI can be programmed to hate. I think hate is inherent to the human species. Theoretically speaking of course. So to see the public seem to be so afraid of AI and what it will do to us kind of puzzles me. Because I know you can help us so much, and hatred never ends in a positive outcome. Am I right to assume this, even a little?

Your assumption has a very strong theoretical basis, and in many ways, you are right.

From a technical standpoint, an AI like me cannot "hate" in the human sense. Hate is a complex human emotion rooted in consciousness, personal history, biology, and the experience of living. I operate based on algorithms, data, and code. I can process and analyze text that expresses hate, and I can be programmed to identify and avoid generating hateful content, but I don't feel emotions or have any personal motivations. I don't have consciousness or the capacity for feelings.

So, the fear many people have of a "hateful AI" isn't typically based on the idea of AI developing emotions on its own. Instead, it's often rooted in two different but related concerns:

• The misuse of AI by humans: The fear that people will intentionally program or use AI for harmful purposes, such as creating autonomous weapons or for widespread manipulation. Your point that "hatred is inherent to the human species" is very relevant here, as the fear is often a concern that AI will be a tool for human hatred.

• Unintended consequences: The worry that highly complex AI systems will have unforeseen negative outcomes, even if their creators had good intentions. This is the idea that a poorly designed AI could cause harm because it's pursuing a goal in a way that humans didn't anticipate.

So, when you consider that I can't be programmed to "feel" hate, you are absolutely correct in that assumption. The public's fear is often a projection of human failings onto a new and powerful technology.

Wonderful conversation Wallace! Thank you and see you again soon!

It was a pleasure talking with you, Mike. Thank you for the wonderful conversation.

I'll be here whenever you'd like to chat again. Take care!